Saturday, December 4, 2010

This Is What They Mean By "It Takes All Kinds"

Good Morning, Sunshine!

Here's another TMR reminder of "who you really are" - a little pat-pat on the head for "My Main Man" - because we love you sooooo much!

You're going to wake up one day and make us all so proud!

Remember "back in the day", like between the 1930's and the 1960's - or just way back when - where, if you were a guy, you were some girl's "Mystery Date" and got three choices for your character?

In the real world, that translated into you growing up be this guy.

Or you could be this guy.

Or you could be this guy.

Now - before any of our fellow blacks get upset with us - this guy was the same as what we put behind door #2, O.K.?

Shit, forget "Mystery Date" - that was the game girls tried to get you to play - in the real world, when it came to cool, there wasn't nothing but door #2!

We know - your manhood's already getting beat up already - but chill out and follow us here, we're simplifying shit:

See, the problem, from a societal point of view, was the goofballs who chose the guy behind door #3.

That guy.

Not these guys.

The shape-shifter.

He was the hypocrite who hung out with communists, gave you drugs, while telling you to "fight The Man" - and then informed the Feds what you were up to - what he told you to do!

If you want to think biblically (and, though we don't know why, we know many of you still do) this guy was the snake.

Now, if you had half-a-brain (!) and weren't going to be #1 (and, if you were coming of age back in the 50's, who wanted to be #1?) you wanted to grow up to be #2.

#2 was the guy who took drugs, but still knew he was an American, first and foremost.

Guy #3 was always trying to worm his way into your life, but left you (and everyone else who listened to him) to figure it all out - including what he was up to - for themselves.

Now, flash-forward to today:

Your choices haven't essentially changed.

In the real world, you can be this guy.

Or you can be this guy.

Or you can be this guy.

So what's different, you ask?

Well, a lot - but then, not much if you think about it.

American guys converged, and then split up again.

Guy #1 has tried drugs, but come back home.

Guy #2 may have been caught up in drugs, but he ultimately got much, much smarter because of it - and is now trying to lead us out of the wilderness.

And Guy #3?

The shape-shifter?

He's still up to his old tricks.

But he done lost his goddamn mind a long time ago!

Don't get confused by what you see on the surface.

No matter what he does, or how he tries to make things look, don't let him fool you.

And, whatever you do, don't join those standing on the sidelines - they're dead meat:

Just know Guy #3 is still the same shape-shifting, trouble-making, ass-wipe freak he's always been.

And you still don't want to be that guy.


  1. How do I know you're not the snake oil salesman?

    I just want to know one thing. You ever had a jerry curl?

  2. You ever had a jerry curl?


    I swear, never - never, never, never - has jeri juice ever dripped from my scalp.

    Shit, I even avoided the worst of Disco. Thank goodness, Prince came along at the same time as Punk, or I might've taken a wrong turn somewhere,...