Monday, December 27, 2010

When Her Bones Fully Form Her Head Will Still Be Just As Empty As All The Idiots Around Her

Man, oh man, in the NewAge world a "miracle" can be any ol' goddamned thing:

At just six, Shruti Pandey is the youngest yoga trainer in the world.

The bendy youngster has been teaching adults at an ashram, in northern India, for the last two years.

Her trainer, Hari Chetan, 67, set up the ashram 35 years ago and as soon as little Shruti became one of his students, as a tiny four-year old, he spotted her talents.

Now she starts her classes at 5.30am every morning, at Brahmanand Saraswati Dham, in the Jhunsi town, dressed in white leggings and a red t-shirt surrounded by 30 eager pupils ranging from businessmen, teachers, housewives to pensioners.

Shruti said: 'It feels good when people follow my instructions, I feel like a real teacher.
Of course you do, dear. But even you know you're not a "real teacher" but only "feel like" one, because - excuse us - you're only 6 years old and have merely mastered a useless endeavor. In all honesty, you should be in school where you can learn something that will further your mind in preparation for what lies ahead.
Her brother, Harsh Kumar, now 11-years-old, made the Limca Book of Records at the tender age of five by learning all 84 yoga positions - but he's never been interested in being a teacher like his sister.
Hari, who Shruti also calls her grandfather, think she's a miracle.
Sure she is. Just like the little brats who now come home in Western countries, demanding their parents do what they say to "save the planet". It's not that children have all of a sudden become exceptional, but that adults have gradually become infantile, incapable of mature thoughts, unable to comprehend what's important, or their own role as parents and adults.

A miracle? Give us a break:

Splitting the atom was a miracle.

This - like so much of what the NewAge world calls "talent" - is merely another joke on those too gullible to get it and too stupid to know better.