Showing posts with label TMR's NewAge News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TMR's NewAge News. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2009

Or They Can Always Call It A Comic Book,...

"Tim Miejan became the editor of a New Age magazine this year. And he found himself smack in the middle of the shifting, fractured New Age world — where beliefs change faster than you can flip a tarot card.

'We are about what it means to be human, in the metaphysical, holistic and spiritual realms,' said Miejan, of Woodbury, who bought The Edge magazine with a partner in February.

As the editor, Miejan has become a New Age gatekeeper, deciding which legitimate beliefs get into the magazine and which are too far out to be included.

It's not an easy job.

Chiropractors want out of the New Age movement. Channelers wonder if they belong at all, and pagans feel jilted. Organic farmers don't want to be near pet psychics. And no one knows what to do with the witches.

For a movement based on peace, love and understanding, New Age looks like a battleground.

'I have customers who completely believe in fairies and will laugh at you if you believe in Bigfoot,' sighed Teisha Magee, owner of the Sacred Paths Center, which describes itself as an 'organization celebrating earth-centered spirituality,' in St. Paul.

Lest anyone laugh at their beliefs, New Agers point to the tenants of mainstream religions that seem bizarre to nonbelievers — such as virgin birth, turning water into wine and rising from the dead.

'Is there a way to prove the afterlife?' Miejan said.

Until Miejan took over, The Edge was 'an airy-fairy New Age publication,' he said. But he is redefining the magazine's mission — and whipping up some Age of Aquarius acrimony.

Miejan favors articles on stress reduction and spiritual quests. He welcomes columns on astrology, written by 'Moonrabbit.' He recently featured an article which pleaded for a halt to construction of wind turbines because of the harm to life-force energy flows called 'prana.'

He says he would include stories about 'nature divas,' the politically correct name for fairies. 'We would never say those do not exist. We are one of the forums where people can share those ideas,' he said.

But even Miejan's open mind sometimes snaps shut.

Channelers — people possessed by spirits of the dead — are out. So is the belief that reptile-like aliens have taken over the bodies of celebrities, including Queen Elizabeth and — according to one Web site — former Minnesota U.S. Rep. Bill Luther.

Paganism? Out.

'I am not saying that because paganism offends anyone,' Miejan said. 'But it is a complete niche by itself.'

Other New Age leaders are appalled.

'He is excluding channeling? Yikes. Or pagans? He should not be doing that,' said Kathy McGee, editor of the Washington-state-based magazine New Age Retailer.

'New Age is an umbrella term encompassing anything on a spiritual path — Bigfoot, Jesus, Buddha. Even worshipping a frog is sort of OK,' McGee said."


-- Bob Shaw, capturing the "debate", if you can call it that, on what NewAge is - other than a lot of politically-motivated people with severe mental problems - in the Pioneer Press.

Monday, January 5, 2009

A TMR NewAge News: SPECIAAAL REPOOORT!

"NYC nightlife transsexual extraordinaire Amanda Lepore, born Armand Lepore, is the latest somewhat famous person to release a perfume ... and is charging an arm and a third leg for the $950 Swarovski crystal-covered bottle." - TMZ

The only real question is how did they make his (her?) lips sooooo big? Well, for the best answer, we must turn to none other than:

TMR's NewAge News (For the Indiscriminate Fool)!!!

Here's TMR's own JOE NIGER to pin it down for us - what have you got, Joe?

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is JOE NIGER reporting, and my sources say, in a rare procedure, Armand Lepore's balls were hammered with a meat mallet and then implanted into Amanda Lepore's lips.”

Why that's fascinating, Joe! Do you have anything else for us?

“Well, from what I can gather, this technique has been used only once before when A-Rod - noticing he would no longer need his balls with Madonna - became the official donor for Shauna Sand.”

Wait a minute, Joe - you mean he actually put his balls in her mouth?

You betcha!

Wow - whoda thunk it?

Well, if that's all you've got,...

This is The Crack Emcee,...happy as can be!

And I'm JOE NIGRO,...reporting from Israel!

And you've just had another exciting installment of,...

TMRs NewAge News!!!!



Sunday, January 4, 2009

It's TMR's NewAge News (With Joe Nigro) Saying: "You Go Climb It - We're Going To Disneyland!!!"

In this thrill-packed, butt-clenching amusement that is the media and climate change (AKA the artist formerly known as "global warming"), The Independent reports:

“An emergency 'Plan B' using the latest technology is needed to save the world from dangerous climate change, according to a poll of leading scientists carried out by The Independent. The collective international failure to curb the growing emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2) in the atmosphere has meant that an alternative to merely curbing emissions may become necessary.”

One part of “Plan B” is the notable:

“Pump water vapour into the air.”

Maybe it’s a typo. There’s not much scientific argument opposing the view of water vapor as the single largest greenhouse gas there is, accountable for up to 70% of the effect. Personally, we here at TMR think it’s a ploy by The Sharper Image to develop a room humidifier that actually works,....

The Independent goes on to report:

“Professor James Lovelock, a geo-scientist and author of The Gaia Hypothesis, in which the Earth is a quasi-living organism, is one of those who is less optimistic. He believes that a plan B is urgently needed. "I never thought that the Kyoto agreement would lead to any useful cut back in greenhouse gas emissions so I am neither more nor less optimistic now about prospect of curbing CO2 compared to 10 years ago. I am, however, less optimistic now about the ability of the Earth's climate system to cope with expected increases in atmospheric carbon levels compared with 10 years ago," he told The Independent. ‘I strongly agree that we now need a 'plan B' where a geoengineering strategy is drawn up in parallel with other measures to curb CO2 emissions.”

It should be noted that Lovelock is arguing against his own theory (the one he makes a living from) as described in an excerpt from Wikipedia:

“Lovelock suggested that life on Earth provides a cybernetic, homeostatic feedback system operated automatically and unconsciously by the biota, leading to broad stabilization of global temperature and chemical composition.

With his initial hypothesis, Lovelock claimed the existence of a global control system of surface temperature, atmosphere composition and ocean salinity. His arguments were:

• The global surface temperature of the Earth has remained constant, despite an increase in the energy provided by the Sun.

• Atmospheric composition remains constant, even though it should be unstable.

• Ocean salinity is constant.

Since life started on Earth, the energy provided by the Sun has increased by 25% to 30%, however the surface temperature of the planet has remained remarkably constant when measured on a global scale. Furthermore, he argued, the atmospheric composition of the Earth is constant.”


Not to worry.  Also according to Wikipedia, Mr. Lovelock (not wanting to be left out of global warming mania) has adjusted his theory in a way that excludes humans from the “life on Earth” self-regulating bio-system:

“In James Lovelock's latest book, The Revenge of Gaia, [2006] he argues that the lack of respect humans have had for Gaia, through the damage done to rainforests and the reduction in planetary biodiversity, is testing Gaia's capacity to minimize the effects of the addition of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. This eliminates the planet's homeostatic negative feedback potential and increases the likelihood of positive feedbacks associated with runaway global warming.”

Maybe his next book will be called “The Planet Strikes Back” - or "black," as the case may be,...

Whatever it is, we're not sure what to make of all this, but we do know this much:

The Sun has the volume of 1,300,000 Earths.

The whole damn thing is on fire.

Even with a 30% increase of the Sun’s energy reaching Earth, it’s no match for us teeny-weeny humans.

So, as a way to relax a bit about all this, it might be a better idea if everybody goes on "Mr. Toads Wild Ride" five or six times instead.



Saturday, January 3, 2009

TMR NewAge News (For The Indiscriminate Fool)

"The CIA has issued a statement after last week’s catastrophic waterboard incident in Guantanamo that embarrassed the agency and raised questions about security.
 
The events unfolded as a suspected terrorist was being interrogated and the session went on for nearly four hours. According to sources, the suspect 'seemed to enjoy it' and at one point nearly fell asleep.
 
An investigation revealed the water had been inadvertently stored next to a photograph of Valium and aspirin, and had apparently retained that memory. The origin of the photo is unknown, and calls to
NewAge World Headquarters in the Sedona suburb of Circle Rock, AZ went unanswered. A spokesperson in the Roswell, NM office declined comment.
 
In a brief statement, the detainee told reporters he felt relaxed, pain-free and 'very clean.'
 
The water has been checked into a rehab program."


-- Joseph Nigro, on a "terrible" situation, only made better by the hilarity of it (with the following video) as The Macho Response.