Rotoscoping My Norman Lear: Resemble Marcus Welby

Ahmadinejad Predicts Chavez Will Return Alongside Jesus, Hidden Imam

I've been thinking about how we can have all these shows, these so-called entertainments, all pointedly about what's going around us, and featuring various clearly identifiable personality types, but - according to they who share those various clearly identifiable personality types - it's all just so much "stuff". These works are, most definitely, not about them.

A newly released digital edition of the four books of LDS or Mormon scripture—the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price—includes editorial changes that reflect a shifting official view on issues like polygamy, the Church’s history of racism, and the historicity of LDS scripture.

So, drifting along, the "thinking" goes, Lisa Simpson doesn't represent any of the millions of annoying Whole Foods-shopping ubernerds, aggressively bugging the bejesus out of everyone as they unthinkingly gobble up the Left's politically correct, and self-declared as morally superior, obsession with "nature" as a brand. No, no, that's just Lisa, cartooning's sensitive little yellow girl with pointy hair. There's no connection to reality whatsoever, even of there always seems to be a boatload of dreadlocked white girls-with-a-complex in every Whole Foods I've ever encountered.

Getting [back] to my usual kick-that-dead-horse-and-I'll-bet-she'll-go point, whether it's all the new movies about cults, all the new TV shows about cults, all the new games about cults, or all the new theatrical productions about cults - and, I should point out, I started this blog predicting this particular cult confluence would eventually come into being - the very last thing anyone should ponder (especially if they're living on the coasts, where a lot of this is activity takes place) is if they, themselves, are actually the subject of all this creativity.

Strikingly choreographed spirit-cleansing rituals give way to supportive or divisive group dynamics - and the person scapegoated may not be the one you expect.

A scapegoat - those "spirit-cleansing rituals" ensure the guilty parties run free. It started for me "back in the day", when I was hanging with some very charming, aggressive, and highly intelligent speed freaks,s who'd regularly tear apart telephones "accidentally" in an effort to fix them - usually with a television on, showing the charming, aggressive, and highly intelligent Animaniacs destroying everything behind them. 

 *Click* Shutter. Shudder. Got it. Government personified.

Interestingly, the President's twitter account, chavezcandanga, gained 75.000 new followers after the news of his death.

Now they're hinting Hillary Clinton - psychic Jean Houston's buddy - is in line to be President of the United States. Don't know why or what for yet. Probably being psychic Jean Houston's buddy. Pay no mind to the unreality of it all and, for God's sake, keep talking about feminism. Let a gay guy do it. Let Bill Clinton speak.

What’s sad is how much we need her. The ideal has to exist out there somewhere. Someone has to say the Right Thing and wear the Right Ensemble and Effortlessly Frost Dozens of Minicupcakes.

Ha! Again I say, pay it no mind. I'm solid on that. You're compelled to burn sage, or go out in "nature", so what? I'm sure there's a very good reason for that, and it's all being handled reasonably and maturely, because we're 21st Century-educated Americans and we think these things through.

Many young people turned to drugs and immoral lifestyles; these youth became known as hippies. They went without bathing, wore dirty, ragged, unconventional clothing, and deliberately broke all codes of politeness or manners. Rock music played an important part in the hippie movement and had great influence over the hippies. Many of the rock musicians they followed belonged to Eastern religious cults or practiced Satan worship.

In cartoons, you can run right off a cliff and - as long as your feet keep moving - hang in the air. That's a pretty good description of how spirituality "works", too, if you ask me. The Ponzi Scheme, before it falls apart. Look around. You can believe what you want to believe? That's a lot of pretentious insecure people fooling themselves (Bob Wright in a nutshell) and too few equipped to help them.

 

But I'm rooting for 'em, now, whether they want it or not,...

Now I Smell Sulfer,...

I see the Chávez cult is going to continue being the Chávez cult long after ol' Hugo's gone. That's cool. It's my experience people love that kind of thing. I'm a person and I love that kind of thing. The red clothes. The dead body. Absolutely nothing working out as promised - it's all I live for.

 That, and memories of healing,...

Let's Put A Space Probe In Hugo Chávez's Brain

Hugo Chávez, he of the televised multi-hour conspiracy theory rant - and Noam Chomsky-loving, necrophiliac, socialist cult of personality in Venuzuela - is at it again. Keep in mind, this is the guy who had Sean Penn and Oliver Stone, amongst others, hooked on his every word during the Bush administration. (He famously claimed to smell "sulfur" emanating from George W. Bush, back in 2006, when Chávez spoke after him at the U.N. in New York.) Oliver Stone even went so far as to make a documentary about him, claiming Chávez is "misunderstood". See if you understand this:

Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela's socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.

"I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet," Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Got that? Understand it? I do - the man runs a cult - and it's "logic" like this that absolutely proves it. I don't care how high he's risen in politics:

Hugo Chávez is 100% nuts.

A Little Of This And That (Whole Lot Of Nothing)

Here's a few things we've run across online that go into our "We Told You So" file:

Stop kidding yourselves:

Dogs are smarter than cats.

Those people who trained for Obama's "green jobs"?

Still waiting for Obama's "green" jobs.

Liberals are unhappy. (We know, you thought it was us.) Here's a tip:

Give them a friend to betray - somebody really close to them - they'll cheer right up.

The United States economy is growing faster than Europe's.

The United States economy will always grow faster than Europe's.

Vladimir Putin thinks Leonardo DiCaprio is "a real man". Hugo Chávez thinks the same of Sean Penn.

We think they're all communists.

Whole Foods sucks.

That's it - Whole Foods sucks.

And Roseann Marulli Rodriguez of SuperVegan wants you to know she's "all for natural alternatives, but they often don’t seem to work. As the research has borne out, homeopathy doesn’t do us a damn bit of good."

Yea, but spreading that particular news will help us all immensely.

O.K., that's it - hope it keeps you busy - Happy Holidays!

For Now: The Venezuelan Cult Of Hugo Chávez

Odds And Ends (The Odds Are It'll Never End)

Man, am I moving slow today! I don't get it, because, though I was up pretty late last night, I've got the beats going and everything, but I still don't feel that usual burst of Crackilocious delight in the nuttiness that I usally do. Still, that doesn't mean y'all should be deprived, so here's a few quick items you ought to look into before you, too, find yourself jonesing for something to keep your system supercharged:

Gawker thinks Lady GaGa is overexposed. I think they're a little late, or have a stronger constitution than I do, at least today anyway.

Ria Ramkissoon, the woman who let the cult leader, "Queen Antoinette", brainwash her into killing her own kid for not saying "Amen", is getting high marks for finally forgetting what that crazy bitch taught her. Oh well, better late - and one dead child - than never, I guess.

Some Christians have decided they don't like "Jersey Shore" on the Joysey Shoor, so they've put on a concert called "Jesus Shore", which, if you ask me, is a horrible name (and an even more horrible idea) but there you go. It only "attracted a few dozen people", so I guess my instincts for showmanship are still going strong.

Speaking of Christians, South Carolina seems to be a bad place for their churches because they've suffered a shooting and a robbery in the same week there. My advice: pray harder.

And, if you haven't found God yet, check your iPhone: there's an app for that. See? He's everywhere.

It's starting to look like Shirley Sherrod isn't the nice person she's sold herself to the public as. She may have even been unkind to black people, which at least ain't racist.

And The New York Times's Paul Krugman has been revealed to be an idiot - again - which, at least, means he's being consistent. And you've got to love this, from a commenter on his blog:

"Who is this Sean from Florida? He takes everything that [the] Professor [says] and shreds it, piece by piece. He shouldn't be allowed to post his comments on this blog since he seems to be winning all the debates. We progressives need to stick together and embellish our talking points without someone from the outside pointing out fallacies in our ideology."

Yea, that's how it's done. And finally, The New York Times also has an article about Hugo Chávez's obsession with digging up the dead, which I knew about already, and covered a few days ago. At this point, just let me know if he ever loses his horse. I know exactly who to call for that.

Change The Channel

It. Just. Never. Stops:

"Recent accounts of Hugo Chávez's politicized necrophilia may seem almost too lurid to believe, but I can testify from personal experience that they may well be an understatement. In the early hours of July 16—just at the midnight hour, to be precise—Venezuela's capo officiated at a grisly ceremony. This involved the exhumation of the mortal remains of Simón Bolívar, leader of Latin America's rebellion against Spain, who died in 1830. According to a vividly written article by Thor Halvorssen in the July 25 Washington Post, the skeleton was picked apart—even as Chávez tweeted the proceedings for his audience—and some teeth and bone fragments were taken away for testing. The residual pieces were placed in a coffin stamped with the Chávez government's seal. In one of the rather free-associating speeches for which he has become celebrated, Chávez appealed to Jesus Christ to restage the raising of Lazarus and reanimate Bolívar's constituent parts. He went on:

I had some doubts, but after seeing his remains, my heart said, 'Yes, it is me.' Father, is that you, or who are you? The answer: 'It is me, but I awaken every hundred years when the people awaken.'

As if 'channeling' this none-too-subtle identification of Chávez with the national hero, Venezuelan television was compelled to run images of Bolívar, followed by footage of the remains, and then pictures of the boss. The national anthem provided the soundtrack. Not since North Korean media declared Kim Jong-il to be the reincarnation of Kim Il Sung has there been such a blatant attempt to create a necrocracy, or perhaps mausolocracy, in which a living claimant assumes the fleshly mantle of the departed."

Seeing how this is Hugo Chávez we're talking about, any particular flavor of cultism makes perfect sense, and it supports my theory, also perfectly, that the more to the Left one is, the less of a grasp on reality they will possess - as they openly grasp for power.

Read the whole thing.

Yada, Yada, Yada, GOD, Yada, Yada, Yada,...

"President Hugo Chavez is confident that God and nature will pull Venezuela out of a power crisis battering both the economy and his popularity.

Rationing and blackouts have afflicted the South American oil exporter since late 2009, due mainly to a drought that has cut water levels at hydroelectric installations normally supplying more than two-thirds of power needs.

The crisis may cause a second year of economic contraction in Venezuela and is also weighing on Chavez's approval ratings ahead of a legislative election in September that he and opponents are casting as a referendum on his rule.

'The squalid ones are hoping it won't rain,' Chavez said late on Tuesday, using his usual term for the opposition.

'But it's going to rain, you'll see, because God is a "Bolivarian." God cannot be squalid. Nature is with us,' the socialist leader added during an event with athletes."

-- Reuters

Rising Up, Sitting Down (I Don't Feel So Well)

"Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez said in a New Year's message the 'illusion' around President Barack Obama was over and rich nations had left the world on the verge of ecological disaster.

Quoting from both Karl Marx and the Virgin Mary, Latin America's leading critic of U.S. power said only socialist and Christian principles could right the wrongs of capitalism."

-- Andrew Cawthorne, giving us a glimpse of one future - a lot of MARY! and JESUS! and NOTHING IN THE STORES! - concocted NOW! to make us dry heave, just like we caught the Reuters.

Wardrobe's Done: Quick - Start Filming

"Someone asked a great question the other day: Why is leftist Hollywood so enamored with dictators and socialism? You would think they would fear having their artistic expression stifled under a Castro or having all their wealth confiscated under Hugo’s socialist or communist regime. It seems counter-intuitive, no…? That’s a damn good question but erroneously based on the premise that we’re discussing normal people.

When you and I picture life under Obama’s vision for America, we see a dreary existence spent in breadlines, drab apartments and small jail cells with rat cages strapped to our face conditioning us to say 'Herstory' instead of 'History.' These Castro-lovers and Polanski-defenders see something completely different.

Watch 'The Lives of Others.' Not only is it one of the best films of the decade, it also answers the opening question. You’ll see how life under fascism is the complete fulfillment of every narcissistic desire Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand, Oliver Stone, Sean Penn and the rest of their sorry lot has ever had."

-- John Nolte, yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre - or, rather, yelling "theatre" in a crowded fire - because (one way or another) you're gonna get burned from Big Hollywood.

With Love From Me To You

"Hugo Chavez's gift to President Obama at the recent Summit of the Americas--a copy of Eduardo Galeano's 'Open Veins of Latin America'--has many people wondering what the fuss is about. 
   
A decade ago, I and the other two co-authors of the 'Guide to the Perfect Latin American Idiot' devoted a chapter to refuting the historical and ideological fallacies contained in Galeano's tract, which we called the 'idiot's bible.' Everything that has happened in the Western Hemisphere since the book appeared in 1971 has belied Galeano's arguments and predictions. But I guess Chavez has given it the kiss of life,..."

-- Alvaro Vargas Llosa, who I could probably have a decent debate with - on whether or not the "idiot's bible" is a perfect gift for the president - since Obama's the clown prince of (what he hopes is) The New Republic.

One Creep’s As Good As The Next

Just because they divorced back in 1989 doesn’t mean there is still bad blood between Sean Penn and Madonna. Following the star-studded Vanity Fair affair after the Oscars on Sunday night, Pop Tarts can reveal that Penn joined his former flame for her exclusive party at manager Guy Oseary’s house in the Hollywood Hills.

FOX News

Though Penn, still in the throes of his life-long asshole fetish, did say Hugo was a “tighter piece of tail, but I haven’t yet ridden Minge since she started using Poly-Grip”.

Hollywood Health Care Costs Cutting Into Debauchery Budget

"The self-aggrandizing denizens of Hollywood constantly scold Americans over a lack of national healthcare. It is the biggest failure of American society ever that there is no cradle to the grave program for free health care, they constantly tell us. And now, in keeping with these nearly universal Hollywood 'principles,' to prove how Hollywood is far more moral than we lowly citizens of flyover country, and to show that they are better than the great unwashed in the backwaters of America... Hollywood is closing its nearly 90-year-old Motion Picture Fund hospital and accompanying long-term living facilities for aging actors.

Yep, dumping it. Walking away from the facilities for free healthcare for actors. Fuggedaboutit.

Sean Penn has advocated for national healthcare in the U.S. basing his interests upon his close personal friendship with the dictatorial, socialist president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. The twin activists of Susan Sarandon and hubby Tim Robbins have claimed that healthcare is one of the most important issues facing the country today. Many of Hollywood's biggest stars have been heard to lament about how healthcare is something that only the caring, you know, care about, and stuff.

And now, after 87 years, Hollywood is shutting down the facilities that have given succor and care to some of the most famous actors in filmdom’s history.

Yes, with the millions upon millions of dollars in which Hollywood is awash, they are dumping their own healthcare facilities. So, with the many millions with which they could easily fund it laying untapped, why exactly should everyone else feel that the idea is as important as these actors so commonly claim it is if they even refuse pay the bills for their own kind?

Is George Clooney so hurting for cash that he can’t pay a little to the healthcare fund? Is Marlo Thomas in the poor house? Is Ed Asner or Mike Farrell standing in a bread line somewhere?"

Warner Todd Huston – Newsbusters

Fun ain’t easy when it ain’t free.

Go Ahead: Make Our Day

"The beginning of the end is setting in for Hugo Chávez.

The authoritarian Venezuelan president is holding a referendum tomorrow on a constitutional change that would allow him to run for president indefinitely. Pollsters say Chávez leads slightly, but the election is mostly irrelevant. Barring an oil miracle, the former army paratrooper is slowly being undone by his economic mismanagement and corruption, like any of a number of populist strongmen before him."

-- Edward Schumacher-Matos, at The Washington Post.