Rotoscoping My Norman Lear: Resemble Marcus Welby

Ahmadinejad Predicts Chavez Will Return Alongside Jesus, Hidden Imam

I've been thinking about how we can have all these shows, these so-called entertainments, all pointedly about what's going around us, and featuring various clearly identifiable personality types, but - according to they who share those various clearly identifiable personality types - it's all just so much "stuff". These works are, most definitely, not about them.

A newly released digital edition of the four books of LDS or Mormon scripture—the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price—includes editorial changes that reflect a shifting official view on issues like polygamy, the Church’s history of racism, and the historicity of LDS scripture.

So, drifting along, the "thinking" goes, Lisa Simpson doesn't represent any of the millions of annoying Whole Foods-shopping ubernerds, aggressively bugging the bejesus out of everyone as they unthinkingly gobble up the Left's politically correct, and self-declared as morally superior, obsession with "nature" as a brand. No, no, that's just Lisa, cartooning's sensitive little yellow girl with pointy hair. There's no connection to reality whatsoever, even of there always seems to be a boatload of dreadlocked white girls-with-a-complex in every Whole Foods I've ever encountered.

Getting [back] to my usual kick-that-dead-horse-and-I'll-bet-she'll-go point, whether it's all the new movies about cults, all the new TV shows about cults, all the new games about cults, or all the new theatrical productions about cults - and, I should point out, I started this blog predicting this particular cult confluence would eventually come into being - the very last thing anyone should ponder (especially if they're living on the coasts, where a lot of this is activity takes place) is if they, themselves, are actually the subject of all this creativity.

Strikingly choreographed spirit-cleansing rituals give way to supportive or divisive group dynamics - and the person scapegoated may not be the one you expect.

A scapegoat - those "spirit-cleansing rituals" ensure the guilty parties run free. It started for me "back in the day", when I was hanging with some very charming, aggressive, and highly intelligent speed freaks,s who'd regularly tear apart telephones "accidentally" in an effort to fix them - usually with a television on, showing the charming, aggressive, and highly intelligent Animaniacs destroying everything behind them. 

 *Click* Shutter. Shudder. Got it. Government personified.

Interestingly, the President's twitter account, chavezcandanga, gained 75.000 new followers after the news of his death.

Now they're hinting Hillary Clinton - psychic Jean Houston's buddy - is in line to be President of the United States. Don't know why or what for yet. Probably being psychic Jean Houston's buddy. Pay no mind to the unreality of it all and, for God's sake, keep talking about feminism. Let a gay guy do it. Let Bill Clinton speak.

What’s sad is how much we need her. The ideal has to exist out there somewhere. Someone has to say the Right Thing and wear the Right Ensemble and Effortlessly Frost Dozens of Minicupcakes.

Ha! Again I say, pay it no mind. I'm solid on that. You're compelled to burn sage, or go out in "nature", so what? I'm sure there's a very good reason for that, and it's all being handled reasonably and maturely, because we're 21st Century-educated Americans and we think these things through.

Many young people turned to drugs and immoral lifestyles; these youth became known as hippies. They went without bathing, wore dirty, ragged, unconventional clothing, and deliberately broke all codes of politeness or manners. Rock music played an important part in the hippie movement and had great influence over the hippies. Many of the rock musicians they followed belonged to Eastern religious cults or practiced Satan worship.

In cartoons, you can run right off a cliff and - as long as your feet keep moving - hang in the air. That's a pretty good description of how spirituality "works", too, if you ask me. The Ponzi Scheme, before it falls apart. Look around. You can believe what you want to believe? That's a lot of pretentious insecure people fooling themselves (Bob Wright in a nutshell) and too few equipped to help them.

 

But I'm rooting for 'em, now, whether they want it or not,...

The American Left: Where'd We Be Without You?

Hey, Liberals, Progressives, and Democrats:

Remember, after George W. Bush attacked Iraq, how you said the "Axis of Evil" was bogus - and the possibility that Bush might attack Iran was the worst thing in the world - proof that American neo-conservatism was a destructive warmongering ideology that had to be stopped at all costs?

We do!



And hey, Liberals, Progressives, and Democrats:

Remember, when John McCain was running against Barack Obama, and he started a chant of "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb - Bomb, Bomb, Iran", which you took as proof he was too dangerously unhinged to be president? Even though he was riffing on a question from an American citizen who had stated that we already knew, way back then, how dangerous Iran was?

We do!

So here we are in 2010, and you've got your Liberally Progressive Democratic president.

Ultra-Liberal even.

And he's promised to work with Iran "without conditions", while President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (AKA the man now known as "Hitler") has been quietly building a nuclear arsenal, which now - according to the illegally obtained Liberally Progressive Wikileaks cache - has everybody and his Middle Eastern brother not only scared to death, but begging the United States to finally do the one thing you've stood in the way of for years:

Bombing Iran.

Yes, we remember it all.

And it hasn't changed our minds one bit that Liberally Progressive Democrats are the shrewdest bunch of political operators the world has ever seen.

Benjamin, Please, There's No Shame In NewAge

"Everyone can believe what they want to believe". Isn't that the NewAge mantra? And doesn't "everyone" include people making WMDs, specifically, to "wipe Israel off the map"?

Or Al Qaeda demanding we be bombed back to the 13th century? Do we just let it go?

Or how about Oprah's full-throated endorsement of The Secret? It's a belief, right? Should we hold her to it? Or Oprah's full-throated endorsement of Obama as "the One" during the election? Lotta "hope" in there. How's listening to Oprah paying off for us now? Yea, I know:

You got a new car!

Dipping from the same well. "Medicines" containing nothing but water. "Healing" by waving the hands over a body. Thinking everyone else is going to stand still because you're "meditating" for "peace". There's no shame in believing in any of these things either - no matter how untrue they are, the damage they've caused, or the damage they continue to perpetuate - it's all about strength in numbers, the ruthless pursuit of power, keeping your thumb on the scale, and the willingness of sheeple to allow it.

Ain't no shame in their game. It has to be stopped. That's all NewAgers respond to. That's all NewAgers "listen" to.

That's the only way.

(Ooh, I know: deep.)

He's Got One Thing Right: This Won't Last Long

"The pretext (Holocaust) for the creation of the Zionist regime (Israel) is false ... It is a lie based on an unprovable and mythical claim. Confronting the Zionist regime is a national and religious duty. This regime (Israel) will not last long. Do not tie your fate to it ... This regime has no future. Its life has come to an end."

-- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sealing Iran's fate - Israel: do your duty - and maybe our own (because our president is such a chump) as reported by Reuters.

Sorry But Here It Is Again: Liberals Are Idiots

Kings For An Evening

"What a mensch this guy is. Total sweetheart. As soon as he was elected, he told me he would come to the negotiating table without preconditions. You know what 'preconditions' are? That's Persian for 'balls.' Barack, one look at the stars on the stage proves you still have a knack for community organizing. You've brought the entire evil community together, in the spirit of international dialog, to ask you one simple question: how does our ass taste?

(rimshot)

But not everybody has a sense of humor. When I was planning this roast, I sent invitations to every bigshot infidel TV comic in Satanland, but they all turned me down. Was it my holocaust one-liners? My ballistic missile schtick? Nope. These douchebags said they couldn't think of anything funny about Barack Obama. Not a single thing.

(scattered groans, boos)

Yeah, exactly. I mean what the fuck? Maybe I should get my SAG card, because, come on, this clueless pussy is the biggest gift to international insult comedy since Neville Chamberlain. Holy dung, when we heard the infidels elected him, I almost had to shut down my nuke program. My scientists were laughing so hard they kicked over half of our centrifuges!

(Ghadaffi sprays tea on Assad )

But, no-o-o, all these professional comedy dipshits keep telling me Professor Urkel over here is some sort of infidel sacred joke cow. I called up Letterman, and I'm like, Dave how about a couple Obama zingers for the roast tonight? He's like, 'no, no, too controversial. Everybody loves him.' And so I'm like, how about if I just insult America? So he's like, 'yeah, sure, that's fine.'

Okay then, here's one: man, that America is one stupid country.

(audience: HOW STUPID IS IT?)

It's so fucking stupid it elected Barack Obama.

Hey, hey. I kid because I love."

-- Shecky Ahmedinejad, displaying his comedy stylings at "The Barack Obama Celebrity Roast", on Iowahawk.

The Walkout

We missed this one: Those sorry European nations that decided they'd show us up by attending the U.N. Racism Conference got an actual taste of what they came for - courtesy of Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spouting off about Israel being a racist nation (Happy Birthday Israel!!!) - and, then, those same sorry European nations decided we might know what we've been talking about and left. Good for them.

Suckers.

Hat Tip: Neocon Express

Stupidest. President. Ever. (You Decide Which)

"I should give you, the new US administration, this advice. Mr Obama came to power with the slogan of 'change', meaning the American people like the rest of the world want a change in the colonialism policy. Therefore it would have been imperative for him to take part in the world's most important conference of racism and denounce racism, (confirming) that the US is pursuing a changed policy in confronting racism. But to sit at his place and condemn my remarks is not helpful in solving the issues.

Death to America and death to Israel."

-- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, slamming Obama with the same bullshit wedge issue our punk-assed president ran on - remember him (wrongly) accusing John McCain of being a racist? - on the AFP.

It Really Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

"Is it too soon to talk about the failed Obama presidency just because Obama isn't president yet? That depends upon how quickly Barack Obama is able to apply the lessons he's learned from Management Secrets of the Illinois Governors. So far he's not doing very well. He has allowed America's current number one jackleg, crackpot, smut-mouth, slime-licking politician to give the Obama Senate seat to a lovable old African-American doofus whom no one has the heart to execrate. Roland Burris will be the kind of ornament to this year's Senate that the broken plastic Rudolph with its antlers missing was to last year's Christmas tree.

...Come on, Obama, what kind of Democrat are you? I thought Democrats were supposed to be good at this stuff. It's us Republicans who stink at political corruption. One clumsy little elephant misstep and it's GOPterdämmerung with villainy that lives on in popular legend for generations--McCarthyism, Watergate, Iran-Contra, Enron, Jack Abramoff. But when Democrats get their hand (or other body part) caught in the till, folk heroes ensue--Boston's James Curley being reelected while jailed, Washington's Marion Barry being jailed while elected, Quixotic Bill Clinton unfazed by the Rush Limbaugh windmill and riding off into the sunset with fair Dulcinea Lewinsky unceremoniously dumped from the saddle. And, of course, there's Obama's Toddling Town, the Windy City of Richard and Richie Daley with its 'corruption that works.'

So what's the big deal about Bill Richardson and the highway contractors? You want those highway contractors making their Democratic presidential contributions during the primary campaigns of 2012 when the 'failed Obama presidency' is being challenged at the polls by Hillary Clinton?

Speaking of 'witch,' am I the only person who experienced an unexpected surge of warm fellow-feeling for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when Hillary was named secretary of state? I wouldn't wish dealing with her on my worst enemy, who'd be Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."

-- P.J. O'Rourke, having a little fun throwing rocks at life under Democratic rule (which really is fun) since it's become The Weekly Standard.

The Man Who Wasn't There

These were all submitted by Robert Bowie Johnson - good one, Robert!

If this is how you feel, too, then share that feeling with:

Joe Biden: A Blatant, Shameless Liar

During the Vice-Presidential debate, Joe Biden claimed that Barack Obama never said he would meet unconditionally with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

That was a blatant, shameless lie.

Watch the video.

Hat Tip: Little Green Footballs

Dear John: It's Pronounced I'm-A-Nut-Job

This is cute - and a welcome break from the other nonsense I'm seeing out there today.

Hat Tip: Wonkette

Wow: Religion Is SOooo Exciting!

“Critics in Iran – many of them clerics – charge that Ahmadinejad's conviction that the 'end of times' is near has brought Iran dangerously close to war with the US and Israel.

'Nothing connects with the audience like the vocabulary of imminence,' says Kurt Anders Richardson, an expert on Shiite theology at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario. 'It's great to live with imminence if you believe. It changes everything: it supercharges politics, it supercharges ethics and collective feeling.

'Also it's a great antidote to worldly distractions. Instead of fear instigated by morality police, you have euphoria, a profound enticement,' says Dr. Richardson, speaking in Tehran during a recent conference on Mahdism doctrine. 'Clearly these people are motivated by the belief they will be privileged to see the return of the Mahdi in their lifetime.'

Belief that the 'ultimate savior' will soon return has been a constant theme, both in substance and rumor, since Ahmadinejad became president in 2005. Three years ago, he was quoted telling local officials concerned with overspending: 'Don't worry, Imam [Mahdi] is going to come in two years and all the problems will be solved.'”

-- Scott Peterson, reading the metaphysics, for the metaphysical Christian Science Monitor.