Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Real "Rules": When Life Gets Tough, Wives Get Laid, And The Husband's Life Gets Destroyed

"Even though on my wedding day I had meant every word of my vows - and I'd said that I would be with him in sickness and in health - for me, after his illness, there was no longer a future for us.

I can understand some people thinking that sounds very cold. I am sure there are some people who will never understand how I could leave my husband.

Believe me, I have asked myself the same question - and still do: how could I leave Kevin when he needed me most?"


- Housewife Karen Mears, 37, lives with her ex-husband's best man, Andrew Manning, 34, an electrician.

"I will never forget the day Karen said she no longer loved me.

"You've changed so much," she said, and I felt tears pricking my eyes.

I was devastated. I knew that I wasn't 100 per cent well yet - days would pass in a sleepy blur and often I felt incredibly angry - but at least I had my family.

I just wanted to get well and for us all to be happy again.

So when I found out Karen was with Andrew, I did feel angry. I loved Karen, and when we married I thought we would be together for ever."


- Kevin Ware 35 and divorced.

"To this day I cannot put my arm around Karen in front of Kevin. Even though they are divorced and we have two children together, it still feels that I am with Kevin's wife - and that we are both participating in a huge betrayal.

It's always felt wrong in that regard. Admitting to myself that I fancied her, going out with her while Kevin was at home recovering, and eventually sleeping with her, all felt so strange."


- Andrew Manning

"Frankly, we were beyond shocked when we heard that Karen was seeing Andrew.

As Kevin's best friend, he was the last person we expected Karen would go off with.

There is a line you don't cross - and in all honesty I felt Andrew and Karen had crossed it.

There are certain things you don't do - and going off with your husband's closest friend must be one of them."


Jill Master, is 54 and lives with her husband David, Karen's stepfather.

"When Karen first left Kevin, she seemed to think he had taken it all very well. But I knew the reality was different.

I used to go out for drinks with Kevin and he was a broken man. He was distraught, in pieces over losing Karen - and to his best friend, of all people.

Here he was, still living in the family home, trying to come to terms with a serious illness, knowing his wife was seeing another man.

And not just any other man - which would have been bad enough - but Andrew.

He was angry and very confused. I'm sure it must have crossed his mind that something might have been going on between the pair of them before he got ill.

He used to say: "Why the hell did she marry me if she wasn't doing to stay with me?"

I felt very uncomfortable with what Karen and Andrew were doing, so it was an impossible question to answer.

Karen had also done something I just couldn't comprehend.

Whatever happens to Jill, I know I would never consider leaving her. It wouldn't even cross my mind, however awful the situation, because I wouldn't just see it as a betrayal to my wife, but to the whole family."


David Malster, 51, a maintenance engineer, lives with Karen's mother Jill.

"When Kevin and Karen separated, my parents and I were so shocked. We were so wrapped up in Kevin just living, and so relieved he was going to be all right, that we just didn't see their marriage breakup coming.

It was an absolute bombshell. I was furious when Karen found someone new - and then to learn it was Andrew was just unbelievable.

Andrew had grown up with myself and Kev - he was like a second son to my mum.

I know you can't help who you fall in love with, but to think that while Kevin was in hospital fighting for his life, Andrew and Karen were seeing one another was hard to take.

Karen and the children were Kevin's life. He loved her so much.

So to me it was as if she had just deserted Kevin. It was the ultimate betrayal and deception, and not just to Kev but to our whole family.

She should have stuck by him. After all, she had promised to be with him in sickness and in health."


Kerry Ware, 30, is single and works in a bank.

"After Kevin's brain haemorrhage, Karen really struggled to hold life together.

Kev would get very frustrated and although his recovery was brilliant, he was still not 100 per cent better.

Once Kev had been the life and soul of the party, always clowning around. Now, he had somehow lost the wacky sense of humour that had made us all laugh.

Kevin,...has made a great recovery and is virtually his old self."


- Charlene Cessford is 29 and lives with her husband.

As reported in The Daily Mail

70% of divorces today are initiated by women after - for whatever reason - they become "dissatisfied" with their lives. Thus, "No-Fault Divorce" means men are expected to lose their dreams to women's whims. (If she wants to sleep with the football team, there's "no fault", right?) Those are the real rules.

Men must stop marrying until the divorce laws are changed.

Be smart.