Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Oh Well, I Told You: The Yoga Craze IS A Cult

"Lululemon gets a lot of flack, mostly because their clothes are trendy and outrageously expensive. The company is also kind of preachy: Their all-encompassing corporate manifesto -- drink lots of fresh water, perspire, do one thing every day that scares you, etc. -- is pasted onto every one of their coveted and ubiquitous reusable shopping bags.

Lately, when you go to the company's website, your cursor leaves a trail of Lululemon symbols everywhere you put it. Staffers are called educators, and when Chatelaine magazine exposed the company's links to the controversial Landmark Forum, it made a lot of people queasy.

Owner Chip Wilson (above) credits his success to the expensive international program, which has been criticized for having a secretive nature, boot camp mentality, and links to a former member of the Church of Scientology. Lululemon managers reportedly must take a three-day Landmark Forum seminar, though the company pays for it."
-- From Ann Marie McQueen, writing in Canada's Ottawa Sun.

Why don't you people trust me? Don't I try to tell you the truth? Aren't I your buddy? What's wrong with you? Must you insist that anyone who isn't always "calm" with you is trying to control you? Is it really so important to you, that everyone kisses your ass, rather than tries to be your friend and looks out for you?

"Save me from the people trying to save me from myself", right?

I've heard it before. Here's a flash, Einstein:

Some of you women need saving!

None of us are smart enough to do everything on our own. Oh, so you do yoga for exercise and good health, do you? Even after I told you it's not exercise or healthy, but a 1,000 year old practice to make you stupid and controllable? Well, now it's a fact:

You ARE stupid and controllable.

Now, how do you feel? I feel betrayed. By my friends. The friends that I love. The friends who've became so stupid they'll let some bastard convince them putting their head up their ass is a major fucking achievement. Yea, I'm so impressed.

I've tried. Nicely, harshly - you name it:

I've really, really tried,...you fucking idiots.

I don't need this shit.

I hate cults.

I hate this whole damn set-up.

[Click the "yoga" tag, below, for more info. Also, if you don't click the links in each post, you'll never truly know anything.]