The man who shot up an Aurora, Colo., movie theater during a screening of “The Dark Knight Rises” last summer has reportedly converted to Islam and prays up to five times a day.
Making a profit on the occult arts? Cultivating a loyal customer base for potions, magic spells and psychic readings? Not on EBay, you’re not.
In its 2012 Fall Seller Update, the online marketplace said it was banning all sales of supernatural goods and services, exiling its witchy and wizardly clientele to the wilds of Craigslist and other Web-based Diagon Alleys.
Among the prohibited items: “advice; spells; curses; hexing; conjuring; magic services; prayers; blessings; Psychic, Tarot, Reiki, and other metaphysical readings & services; magic potions; healing sessions.”
Those crazy Philippinos are at it again:DEVOTEES re-enacted Jesus's crucifixion in gory scenes while millions of other less extreme faithful across the Catholic Philippines prayed with their families on Good Friday.That makes two of us, Mr. Enaje, though, I understand, only one of us is thinking about the other.
A handful of people are traditionally nailed to crosses while hundreds more have their backs whipped until they bleed in Asia's major Catholic outpost, to remember the day when Christians believe Jesus Christ died 2,000 years ago.
In the small farming town of Cutud, a couple of hours' drive north of Manila, thousands of tourists gathered to watch what has over the years become the biggest and bloodiest Good Friday spectacle.
Fourteen people were nailed to crosses and hundreds were whipped as they walked through the town, their blood splattering onto the ground and walls of buildings.
The most senior of those nailed to a cross, Ruben Enaje, 50, said he was going through the ordeal this year for the 25th time as a way of giving thanks to God for allowing him to survive an accident unscathed.
"I will do this for as long as I can endure it," Enaje told reporters.
Please, next, let them beg the Indians for a rain dance:Texas Governor Rick Perry called on Texans to pray for rain as cooler temperatures on Thursday helped firefighters contain wildfires that have charred more than 1.5 million acres across the state.And then he's going to ask them to throw virgins into volcanos, find a voodoo priest to burn candles,...the possibilities are endless.
Perry, a Republican, sought increased federal help in combating the blazes last weekend and urged Texans to ask the same from a higher power over the Easter holiday weekend.
"Throughout our history, both as a state and as individuals, Texans have been strengthened, assured and lifted up through prayer," Perry said in a statement.
"It is fitting that Texans should join together in prayer to humbly seek an end to this ongoing drought and these devastating wildfires."
Perfect. Just fucking wonderful. The Prince Of Wails is still up to his old tricks:Here’s a thing. Typhoid, polio and yellow fever are really quite dangerous diseases. Typhoid, for instance, is a bacterial infection of the intestinal wall, which can lead to perforation of the small intestine, and often death. Polio, you’ll recall, is a virus which can cause severe and permanent disability; it may have been what left FD Roosevelt largely wheelchair-bound (although it may also have been Guillaume-Barre disease), and has crippled millions of children around the world for life. And yellow fever is another virus which, if it reaches a “toxic phase”, can cause liver failure, jaundice and death. They’re serious.When is someone - anyone - going to finally set this goofy "monarch of mystic mayhem" straight and tell him to stop introducing others to people and things that can get them killed?
You might think, therefore, that if you were going to a country where these diseases were widespread, it would be a good idea to take some sort of precautions. Vaccinations, say. Not, for instance, intercessory prayer, or voodoo magic, or homeopathy.
However, at least one vendor of homeopathic goods – Ainsworths, of New Cavendish Street, London – disagrees. The firm – endorsed by the Prince of Wales – has been offering “alternative” travel vaccines for all three of the above diseases via a leaflet, as exposed on BBC’s Newsnight.
He can't keep trying to keep the visuals together when the reality is so horrible no one can bear to look. Eventually, everyone's going to find out anyway, and then he's really going to be in it:
Because the visuals, alone, are already ugly enough as it is.
These nutjobs just won't leave people alone:A small French farming village is facing an influx of UFO watchers and assorted New Age idiots who believe aliens are hiding underneath a nearby mountain, waiting for the 2012 Apocalypse. The mayor wants the army to be on call.It is a tragedy - and specifically a shame of the Western World - that no one brings these loony believers to their senses and, at the very least, impresses upon them what jackasses they've been led to become. Nobody had ever try to impress on us how badly they want to "save the planet" or the poor (who can at least think straight) when they're doing nothing to save these lame brains:
The tiny farming village of Bugarach, in southwestern France, is home to 189 people. But lately it has been overrun with crystal-toting tourists looking for aliens, and many locals aren't so happy. Most of the visitors believe that when the Apocalypse comes in December 2012 the mountain, Pic de Bugarach — which is currently an "alien garage" — will be spared the fiery, miserable fate of the rest of the earth. The increase in visitors started about 10 years ago, when a local man wrote to a UFO review saying the mountain was home to aliens and their spacecraft, which he had personally seen and heard. Now, UFO experts are buying up property and ruining the town by lying around meditating and leaving statues of virgins and other weird shit on the mountain.
The Telegraph spoke with the mayor of Bugarach, Jean-Pierre Delord, who said, "This is no laughing matter. If tomorrow 10,000 people turn up, as a village of 200 people we will not be able to cope. I have informed the regional authorities of our concerns and want the army to be at hand if necessary come December 2012." Delord told the paper that a recent spike in visitors is due to UFO and 2012 websites telling people to go to Bugarach if they want to survive the End Times. "Many come and pray on the mountainside. I've even seen one man doing some ritual totally nude up there."
Oh god. That poor town.
"The answer to all my ills at least is not homeopathy or prayer but Strictly Come Dancing."
"If any of these religions (both conventional and New Age) were any good they’d hold their prayer meetings in the open air. And they wouldn’t charge the punters tuppence to get in. They wouldn’t lord it over the faithful in their fancy capes and cloaks.
Gamma International Salt Lamps"I was dismayed to see my research touted,...It's disgraceful,...just nuts."-- Michael Terman, director of the Center for Light Treatment and Biological Rhythms at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City, on discovering his work was being twisted by NewAge companies to sell their bogus products, in The Los Angeles Times.
Earth Footwear Walking Shoes"Earth shoes could potentially strain the plantar fascia, a band of connective tissue on the bottom of the foot. Over time, such strain could cause plantar fasciitis, a common source of heel pain."*-- Geza Kogler, a scientist in the Clinical Biomechanics Laboratory at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta and a member of the Footwear Biomechanics Group of the International Society of Biomechanics.
Violight Inc. "Zapi" Portable Toothbrush Sanitizers"Unnecessary,...simply allowing the toothbrush to dry out will kill the bacteria,...You can buy a large number of new toothbrushes for the cost of a sanitizer."-- Mathew Messina, a Cleveland-area dentist and the consumer advisor for the American Dental Assn.
Intentional Chocolate (infused with the prayers of Buddhist monks who trained with the Dalai Lama)"There's nothing in the way that we understand the universe that would explain how a group of people could influence the well-being of others by blessing their chocolate."-- Richard P. Sloan, a professor of behavioral medicine at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City.
“Tomorrow, we shall achieve the victory, that the kingdom of God may come on earth as it is in heaven, and all those who love the Lord and will vote for Obama, say Amen.”
"Lord, come down in a mighty way and strengthen us so that we can bring down these high gas prices,...Prayer is the answer to every problem in life...We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people who are keeping these prices high,...Lord, the prices at this pump have gone up since last week. We know that you are able, that you have all the power in the world,..."
"If you're doin' business with a religious son of a bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the Good Lord tellin' him how to fuck you on the deal."
The following tallies up the number of people God killed in the Bible since Adam and Eve. (To be exact, however, God has actually killed everyone who has ever lived.) Enjoy the chart: the first number is the number of people killed in any one incident. The number after the slash (/) adds up the killings in succession.
Aaron's sons for offering strange fire before the Lord (Lev.10:1-3,Num.3:4,26:61, BT) 2/3606+
Burned to death for offering incense (Num.16:35,26:10, BT) 250/3870+
God tells Joshua to stone to death Achan, and his family, for taking the accursed thing (Joshua 7:10-12, 24-26, BT) 5+/132,575+
God delivered Moabites (Jg.3:28-29,BT) 10,000/164,581+
"The Lord smote Benjamin" (Jg.20:35-37,BT) 25,100/313,711+
"The Lord smote Nabal." (1 Sam.25:38) 1/388,803+
Seven sons of Saul hung up before the Lord (2 Sam.21:6-9) 7/388,812+
A prophet for believing another prophet's lie (1 Kg.13:1-24) 1/458,813+
God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands (1 Kg.20:28-29) 100,000/559,263+
Ahaziah is killed for talking to the wrong god. (2 Kg.1:2-4, 17, 2 Chr.22:7-9) 1/586,265+
God sent lions to kill "some" foreigners (2 Kg.17:25-26) 3+/586,414+
"The Lord smote the Ethiopians." (2 Chr.14:9-14) 1,000,000/2,271,416+
Judean soldiers (2 Chr.28:6) 120,000/2,391,417+
