By The Time The World Realizes It's "Taken A Wrong Turn" It Has Circled The Sun

GIRL, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE: 

Denver's water department releases cringey Backstreet Boys parody video featuring tips to limit summer water use 

   

 EDITOR'S NOTE: 

Watching Joe Rogan publicly transform himself, from a curious stand-up comedian into a gullible NewAge sap, has been educational, entertaining, and - because he's so popular - deeply troubling. There's no telling how long an endless repetition of the words "We need more research" will keep his mind stuck in the quicksand of conspiracy theorists.

WE ARE NOT ONE: 

Mo’Nique fuels years-long feud with ‘raggedy bitch’ Oprah Winfrey

WELLNESS IS WOO-WOO: 

A ‘dignified end’ with ‘whole person’ cancer care? ("In a nutshell: if I had the choice between ‘whole person’ care followed by a ‘dignified end’ or conventional oncology followed by survival, I would chose the latter.") 

   

 DIVINE: 

United Methodists Lifts Ban on LGBTQ Clergy 

   

 THEY'RE NORMAL:

Mysterious Netflix 7M TikTok cult true crime leaves fans confused

WHEN DEATH IS NOT ENOUGH: 

‘Possessed’ murder suspect ‘ate man’s face, eyeball and ear’ after killing him 

   

 LITTLE MONSTERS: 

Gaga's Father Attacked at his Church

I KNEW HE WAS BLACK: 

Man Nabbed For Fried Chicken Battery On Sister

Yes Or No: A Great Way To Conduct A (Squirming) Debate

Notice - there's no question who's in charge under these rules:

The American people, and they'll do as they're told.

That scares these guys to death,...

High Society

Hendrix did so many drugs he'd never get old and he's celebrated.

I am NOT the only person talking about reparations, and that's a fact, so prepare to see it on the agenda soon:

America incarcerates more of its citizens than any country in the world, with a disproportionate number of those citizens being African American men.  This has created a crisis in the black community, where many of the children that Bolger would be supporting also have parents in prison right now.  The mass incarceration epidemic is nothing short of a socio-political holocaust that has served to obliterate the black family in America.

I recently spoke with Michelle Alexander, author of “The New Jim Crow,” who agrees with me that the War on Drugs and Mass Incarceration have been so devastating to the African American community that it is only logical to call for reparations.  In fact, we both find it extraordinary and ironic that white males are now earning billions of dollars from the sale of legalized marijuana, while black men are serving long prison sentences for possession of the same drug.

Not everyone can play.

Yeah, what's occurring around Colorado, and Washington state, has to look sinister - and uniquely racist - from a prison cell,...

NewAge Is To Cancer As You Are To Prey (And You Are)

“I was doing a yoga stretch one night, putting on my pyjamas, and noticed a really small lump. I went to the doctor’s after work and to the hospital that evening.”

"These desperate people are the ones most likely to pay for alternative therapies and it is interesting to note that though there is plenty of advice on dosage (start with three bottles a day and increase as necessary, for example), there is no mention of price. The ugly little dollar sign appears only once an order has been placed."

"Homeopathic treatment can help someone with cancer. It can also be helpful for people who have a history of cancer in their family or have cared for a relative or friend with cancer. There are a number of methods of using homeopathic remedies to help people with cancer."

“I use organic products, but I get lasers. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu. I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I’m 50. I’ll try anything,...”

"A Colorado woman died after using cesium chloride supplements as an alternative treatment for breast cancer, a new case study reports.

...The woman had been following the advice of a nutritionist, who had recommended cesium chloride to help shrink her breast tumor."

I Deserve Racial Advice From Cody And Trooper York

Knowing there are no victims makes this easier to witness:

DENVER - Rep. Doug Lamborn's office says the Colorado Republican regrets any misunderstanding over his comments on a Denver-based radio show.

Lamborn spoke to KHOW-AM Friday. He was responding to comments about whom voters would hold responsible for actions on the nation's debt ceiling when he said he thought voters would blame the president. Lamborn said: "Now I don't want to even have to be associated with him. It is like touching a tar baby,…"

I understand - really, I do:

Unfortunately, we've got to "move on"...

 

US Mercury Astronaut Scott Carpenter Has Died At 88

I always liked Scott Carpenter, he was a bit of a fool.

"You're looking out at a totally black sky, seeing an altimeter reading of 90,000ft and realise you are going straight up. And the thought crosses your mind:  

What am I doing?"

Like him, I'm shaking my head. 

Not only the second American to orbit Earth, Carpenter exemplified what became known as The Right Stuff after his capsule overshot the landing point by almost 300 fucking miles. 

He left our still-new-to-space-travel nation without communication and frantic with worry he was alive. 

But the Navy eventually found their astronaut, chillin' in the Caribbean, floating on his raft with his feet propped up.

He went around the globe three times in 1962. 

And as the backup pilot for the first Mercury mission, his was the  voice that famously said, "Godspeed, John Glenn." 

Carpenter was born in Boulder, Colorado, commissioned in the Navy in 1949, and served as a pilot in the Korean War. 

In 1959 he was selected as one of seven Mercury astronauts, training with NASA and specializing in communications and navigation. 

After retiring in 1969 he took up oceanography. As part of the Navy's (now famous and trendy) SeaLab program, in 1965 Carpenter went to California and spent 30 days under the sea.

He lived in Vail, Colorado and upon retiring founded Sea Sciences with the famous French researcher, Jacques Cousteau.

His second wife, Patty Barrett, said he suffered a stroke in September, and died not long after in hospice care.

Let it be known:

Scott Carpenter was easily the most badass #2 in history.

And John Glenn is the Mercury team's last surviving member.

Nude Woman Lost! On A Spirit Quest? (Stop Looking,...)

 

 And don't forget Colorado, possibly becoming a quack wonderland. 

Great results expected, in time, from that. 

And there's another "Spiritual Healer" accused of groping patients, but this guy 'apologised to one for getting carried away'. 

It's a shame we can't live forever because, in the future, these will be "teaching moments,..."

 

Pot Makes Some Paranoid (We Can Work With That,...)

So, it looks like Denver's pot smokers have now validated my theory that drugs shouldn't be legalized  because, as a nation, we're too immature to allow it. 

Even better yet, since those behind legalization have always been lying to get even to this (low) point - "medical marijuana" my ass - make it legal for everybody but them. 

 Man oh man, we'd see some shit then,...

 

An Idea For America: Let's Ban Religion Instead Of Guns

 First, we had The NewAge Assassin and now this:

The man who shot up an Aurora, Colo., movie theater during a screening of “The Dark Knight Rises” last summer has reportedly converted to Islam and prays up to five times a day.

I'd comment further but - honestly - I can't stop laughing,...

 

You Got To Get It Together (Or Leave It Alone)

O.K., we've been kind of falling behind on our blogging, so here's a bunch of random stuff that's been slipping through the cracks as we've been following Wisconsin and whatnot.


BTW, the photos might even be more random than usual, because we're emptying that file, too. Alright, here we go:

Colorado Springs police used a stun gun early Thursday morning to try to stop a man calling himself 'God' from what was originally reported as an attempted burglary.

The incident happened at an apartment complex just north of Austin Bluffs Parkway and North Academy Boulevard around 3:40 a.m. Thursday. When police arrived, they said a man claiming to be God charged for them, a police report said.

A neighbor told KRDO Newschannel13 he walked outside when he heard the commotion.

"One of the cops told me to go back to my apartment, but of course I sat there with the door cracked and listened. The guy was totally tripped out," said Rod Smith.

Police said he would not comply with orders, forcing officers to use a stun gun. It didn't stop the man, and he charged officers once again, according to police.

Police tried again to use a stun gun, but it still didn't work. The man tried to run, but was tackled by officers in the hallway, police said. It took four officers to get him under control.

After medical personnel arrived, the man admitted to smoking mushrooms, a hallucinogenic drug with similar effects to LSD.

Smith said the man was talking, but not making much sense.

"He kept trying to tell the cops that he would take them on one by one if they'd take his cuffs off. he asked them if they wanted to smoke a bowl with him," said Smith.

We don't know - he sounds like "the real deal" to us - not like this flake:

Saudi police arrested a man who was stopping people and telling them that he was the long-awaited savior of the world, a newspaper in the oil-rich Gulf country reported on Sunday.

The 43-year-old man was shouting to passers-by in a street in the central town of Makkah to stop and listen to him.

“He used his car to block their way to force them to listen to him,” Sabq online Arabic language daily said.

“He claimed that he was Al-Mahdi Al-Montathar (the Chosen Imam Al-Mehdi) and that he has an advice for all Moslems.”

Police caught the unnamed man red-handed and took him for investigation to determine if he is mentally normal.

Now you see, we don't get that:

You've got all these people waiting for a savior - whole societies based upon the idea they believe one will show up - but every time somebody claims to be "that guy", they either lock him up or haul him away to see if he's mental. What gives?

It's enough to make you wonder if anybody believes in this stuff,...all it takes is a little imagination. Like this guy, for instance:

I'm not one of those people who spends his whole life wishing things had turned out differently. Sure, the so-called "real world" can be a pretty cruel place sometimes, but why sit around all day worrying about the way things are when, with a little imagination, determination, and blinding denial, you can convince yourself that everything is great?

It may sound crazy, but I'm telling you, if you put your mind to it, you can make yourself believe just about anything!

Don't let annoying little hang-ups like logic, reason, or even reality stand in the way of what you want to be true. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, and if you use it correctly, you'll be amazed at all the incredible things you can deny.

Yeah, "it may sound crazy", but that's right! So the next time you want to believe, say, a naturopath's a doctor, or recycling's a good thing, or even The New York Times is a good paper because their lies are so well written, just remember - you don't have to!

Hell, you don't have to "believe" anything at all! You don't even have to think! We swear! Let it go, man!

At that point you'll be fitting right in!