These Things Take Concentration And Practice

“If there’s one thing that’s been proven in all of this, it’s that it shouldn’t be surprising that a yoga mogul could so effortlessly put his foot in his mouth.”

Getting The Picture (The Big One)

Most people seem to be coming to the realization that Scientology is a cult. Part of the reason for that is Scientology's adherence to the time-tested cult practice of inventing cult jargon that only fellow members understand while laughing maniacally.

I, for instance, would be considered an "SP" in Scientology-speak, or a "Suppressive Person". Oprah Winfrey - another familiar cult leader - calls us "Energy Vampires" (which is Nazi-speak for anyone who doesn't buy into the cult leader's bullshit.) Using cult jargon as a guide, it looks like Jezebel is catching on to Lululemon Athletica's yoga cult now:

"GEC" stands for "Guest Education Center" — the Orwellian name Lululemon gives its customer service call center. "Educator" is a Lululemon sales associate.

Here's how they're describing Lululemon Athletica's founder, Chip Wilson, after mentioning he's been enamored with Ayn Rand's Objectivist cult for a while:

"Wilson seems a touch megalomaniacal. He talks to reporters about creating a Lululemon 'constitution,' a philosophy he bases on a mishmash of The Secret and the Landmark Education Forum."

Click Chip Wilson's tag, below - He's a hoot. As if to make the point clear, The Guardian, U.K., has a new comment on The Landmark Forum that Lululemon "employees are encouraged to attend":

"It sounds rather cult-like."

But come on. Ever since the last election - and that minor discussion of what Mitt Romney and his wife are into - people have started saying that about everything. Let's be clear - taking what we've learned today from those looking at Lululemon:

The cultists are just Tom Cruise and Scientology, Oprah Winfrey and her show and network, Chip Wilson, Lululemon, people who do yoga, the Nazis (my contribution) Ayn Rand and all her followers (in and out of government), plus the billions who bought The Secret. 

That's it. No one else. Nothing to worry about. The 20th Century is over. 

I've been assured, by some of the best minds out there, not to worry:

 

Everybody else is totally in the clear,...

Oh, That Little Thing? That's Our Cult's Aura,...

"It shows up like a cult because it has become a very simple concept that releases people from a lot of their blocks in life. When people are released from those blocks, it has that aura."

-- Chip Wilson, founder and chairman of Vancouver-based Lululemon Athletica Inc. - on the Scientology/est/Landmark Forum cult's influence on his company - in a Monte Stewart article for Business Edge.

Oh Well, I Told You: The Yoga Craze IS A Cult

"Lululemon gets a lot of flack, mostly because their clothes are trendy and outrageously expensive. The company is also kind of preachy: Their all-encompassing corporate manifesto -- drink lots of fresh water, perspire, do one thing every day that scares you, etc. -- is pasted onto every one of their coveted and ubiquitous reusable shopping bags.

Lately, when you go to the company's website, your cursor leaves a trail of Lululemon symbols everywhere you put it. Staffers are called educators, and when Chatelaine magazine exposed the company's links to the controversial Landmark Forum, it made a lot of people queasy.

Owner Chip Wilson (above) credits his success to the expensive international program, which has been criticized for having a secretive nature, boot camp mentality, and links to a former member of the Church of Scientology. Lululemon managers reportedly must take a three-day Landmark Forum seminar, though the company pays for it."

-- From Ann Marie McQueen, writing in Canada's Ottawa Sun.

Why don't you people trust me? Don't I try to tell you the truth? Aren't I your buddy? What's wrong with you? Must you insist that anyone who isn't always "calm" with you is trying to control you? Is it really so important to you, that everyone kisses your ass, rather than tries to be your friend and looks out for you?

"Save me from the people trying to save me from myself", right?

I've heard it before. Here's a flash, Einstein:

Some of you women need saving!

None of us are smart enough to do everything on our own. Oh, so you do yoga for exercise and good health, do you? Even after I told you it's not exercise or healthy, but a 1,000 year old practice to make you stupid and controllable? Well, now it's a fact:

You ARE stupid and controllable.

Now, how do you feel? I feel betrayed. By my friends. The friends that I love. The friends who've became so stupid they'll let some bastard convince them putting their head up their ass is a major fucking achievement. Yea, I'm so impressed.

I've tried. Nicely, harshly - you name it:

I've really, really tried,...you fucking idiots.

I don't need this shit.

I hate cults.

I hate this whole damn set-up.

[Click the "yoga" tag, below, for more info. Also, if you don't click the links in each post, you'll never truly know anything.]