Jenny McCarthy: She's Making Everybody Sick

Oh, the irony:

LA Public Health Officials are investigating The Playboy Mansion after 100 techies became horribly ill in the wake of a party there.

According to local reports, Hef's mansion was the venue for a fundraiser and end-of-show party for the DomainFest conference earlier this month. The show itself was at the Fairmont Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica.

Anyone thinking that domain nerds paying over-the-odds for get-a-peek at the Playboy mansion and its superbly enhanced inmates deserve what they get should think again. The event was a fundraiser for autism charities including Jenny McCarthy's Generation Rescue Foundation, making it a perfectly legitimate way to round off three days of domain name seminars. And arguably tax-deductable too.

As well as the chance to discuss autism with Jenny McCarthy, and fellow Playmates Jennifer Walcott and Suzanne Stokes, attendees were also promised "gourmet food, beautiful lingerie models, great dance music, gogo dancers, tours of the grounds including the famous grotto, and plenty of fun photo opportunities".

Sadly, things went from grotto to grotty in the ensuing days, with attendees taking to twitter and their blogs to complain of headaches, nausea and violent headaches. Four Swedish attendees were reportedly diagnosed with Pontiac fever, a mild form of Legionnaires disease.

So we've got two questions:

What is "perfectly legitimate" about fundraising for Jenny McCarthy's "charity" - since her theories on autism are based on the worthless scams of Andrew Wakefield - which has caused the deaths of, at least, hundreds of children and the illness of countless others?

And what kind of "techies" are unaware this?

Whatever - we're glad they got sick,...and - if they're "horribly ill" - then all the better:

They deserve it for going anywhere near the skank.

This Is Why Americans Always Fall For NewAge

I don't think I could've found a better example of why NewAge didn't catch on, until the 70s, than the end of this video. I told you: we don't have a political problem, we have a cultural problem, and, as you can see, these folks don't know where they are or how they got here - except for fucking. They know fucking: I guarantee you, fucking, and slavery, they know. The words, mind you, the rest is a blur.

Looking at this, it's no wonder they're suckers for any NewAge idea under the sun, because, honestly, they've obviously never opened anything more substantial than someone else's legs, a Playboy, or a comic book. It's just sad, y'all.

Anyway, Happy 4th of July, you fucking morons - you're free.

Now go find someone to explain what that means,....

Hot Air

A Global Waste Of Skin: The Art Of Irrelevancy

Before

After

She already boasts a fake tan and DD-cup breasts, so you would be forgiven for thinking Danielle Lloyd had had some sort of procedure on her newly plumped up lips.

But while the former WAG was definitely displaying a fuller pout than normal, her spokesman insists she has not been under the knife.

Rather, her trout pout is all down to a lip plumping gloss that comes straight out of a bottle.

A spokesman for the 25-year-old said: ‘Danielle hasn’t had any work done. She’s just used a lip-tingling lip gloss which makes lips look plumper.

‘It has chilli [sic] in it, and just encourages the lips to look fuller.’

--The Daily Mail

Rule of thumb: When your mouth is closed and your lips don’t meet, there’s no point in lying.

Anyway, all that lip excitement made us wonder why this penis holster is a celebrity of any kind.

Then we remembered – she’s British! Now for whatever sad reason, the Brits have this desperate need to have celebrities, and they choose them without any criteria whatsoever.

WAGs, footballers, weather readers, game show hosts, news readers, “presenters” (whatever the hell that is), women with eight and a half kids by nine husbands – the list is endless.

In fact, the bigger the piece of dirt, the bigger the celebrity. If a small pile of dog crap was photographed banging a small pile of cat crap under a mailbox on a London street corner, POOF, instant celebrity. Daily Mail here we come.

And then there will be commenters who will write “such a lovely couple. They seem quite content together and we shouldn’t judge”.

And if you make it to WAG status, you’d be more popular than a surprise paranormal concert where Elvis opens for The Beatles.

In case you forgot, a WAG is a woman who bangs “footballers” for a living (WAG = Wives And Girlfriends” of “footballers”).

To make sure we haven’t overlooked any of Lloyd’s accomplishments, we took a glance at her Wikipedia page. Here’s a small sampling:

*Lloyd claims she was bullied in school; however, Chris Yates, the headmaster of one of Lloyd's old schools, St Hilda’s, said, "There's no recollection of her ever being persecuted, she is lying and no teacher can ever recall any incidents where Danielle was bullied. In fact I’ve been led to believe by her former friends that the opposite is true."

* The former Miss England 2004 and Miss Great Britain 2006 first rose to prominence when she was stripped of her Miss Great Britain 2006 title after posing for nude pictures featured in the December 2006 edition of Playboy magazine and her alleged affair with one of the pageant's judges, her then-boyfriend, footballer Teddy Sheringham.

* As a participant in the 2007 series of Celebrity Big Brother, Lloyd, along with others, were accused of using bullying tactics and making serious racist comments directed against the Indian actress Shilpa Shetty, telling Miss Shetty that she should "fuck off home".

* Lloyd has continued her non-modelling [sic] career as a professional "celebrity for hire”.

The fun continues:

Danielle Lloyd has revealed that she will be writing her autobiography. The book will be a tell-all account of her public love life.

Lloyd's former lovers include footballers Teddy Sheringham, Jermain Defoe, Marcus Bent, Peter André and F1 champion Lewis Hamilton.

The Daily Star says that Danielle will "spill the beans of the stars" and that "Many [football] players are dreading this book"

Lloyd, 25, is apparently at the centre of a bidding war between publishers for her "X-rated autobiography", which is scheduled for release in October.

There’s a saying that for every rat you see, there’s fifty you don’t.

She’s only 25 and well on her way to beating Madonna’s record of the person who has eaten the most sperm in the history of history. Unless Paris Hilton beats her to it.

Our thanks to the Brits for their high standards, and to the public everywhere for providing this gutter slut with all the money she can use.

You know who you are. We’ll find you.

It’s Not True. It’s Not, It’s Not, It’s Not.

Every now and then news surfaces that leaves us questioning our faith in humanity. This Headline from Fox News just knocked the wind out of us:

Kendra Wilkinson Says She Cheated On Hugh Hefner for Sex

Maybe we were just naïve, but we never saw it coming. The last time we found ourselves mourning our lost and shattered illusions is when we learned Sheryl Crow’s hygienic condition might be a little dicey due to her global warming beliefs.

Oh the humanity.