Friday, September 5, 2008

The Aquarian Conspiracy

"We figured the rookie would be so rattled by all the hot lead our media buddies threw at her those first few days that she’d forget to bring her moose knife to a gunfight.

How were we to know that she was a natural-born killer, and that her first punch would break B.O. Plenty’s glass jaw and sending him rushing into the arms of Bill O’Reilly, where he proclaimed that of course the surge worked, he always said it would work, and furthermore he always said that he always said the surge would work, but that he still thought it was a sucky idea.

Then you delivered another low blow last night when, at the end of your speech you defied that crowd of chanting fascists in St. Paul — those who would deny the plain language of the Constitution’s Article One: A Woman’s Right To Murder Her Unborn Baby for Her Own Personal Convenience Shall Not Be Infringed — and roared through the end of your jingoistic inaugural address. I mean “acceptance speech.”

Fight, fight, fight, America, truth, justice, and all that stuff, blah blah blah. You were so impassioned and fired up it was almost like you believed what you were saying.

Still, we had to put some ice on that. The look in Bambi’s eyes today is like Dolph Lundgren’s in
Rocky IV, after Sly Stallone first bloodies Ivan Drago, and the noble, indestructible Russian thinks: O my Gaia, I could lose this thing.

Afraid of you? Hah!

But this morning, maybe we are.


-- David Kahane, noting that "The Home of the Brave" still has a lot of cowards in it, for the National Review Online.