"ttthemachorrspinsr" (Some People Need Help)

When this is worthy of an announcement, you know your country is a loser:

First homeopathic remedies are expected to be available in Slovenia this week as the national Agency for Medicinal Products and Medical Devices approved them on 30 March. Slovenian pharmacies have been preparing for their arrival for years, with more than 300 chemists having completed training in homeopathy.

Let's see - dilute something in a vial of water, shake the vial of water, and then hit it against a Bible. That's what "more than 300 chemists" in Slovenia call "science". Oh well, it's good enough for Whole Foods shoppers.

Welcome to The New Dark Ages.

This one comes to us from America in the '70s:

Cows were sacrificed by aliens sending the White House into a panic declassified FBI files have revealed.

It is claimed that more than 8,000 cows were abducted by UFOs before they were mutilated and thrown back down to earth over the southern United States during the 1970s.

The memo is one of thousands of previously unreleased classified files that the bureau has made public in a new online resource called The Vault.

This sounds fake, but I'm including it because it's NewAge and stupid.

Now let's go for NewAge and sinister:

The leader of a small religious group, already facing charges for allegedly raping his teenage daughter in the name of God, is now being accused by his own sister.

The woman says he also coerced her into having sex by taking advantage of her mental depression and her struggle to find religious answers.

Terrill Dalton has proclaimed himself to be the Holy Ghost and the father of Jesus. "From the Lord I've been told, 'Yes, that's who I am,'" Dalton said in a 2009 interview. Along with Geody Harman, Dalton leads a small group called The Church of the Firstborn and the General Assembly of Heaven.

Money and sex, money and sex, what is spirituality but money and sex?

Control.

This isn't a first, but I want to hear more:

One year ago, Madonna’s former personal manager Caresse Henry committed suicide.

Now, Henry’s sister Yvette Dobbie, who believes that Madonna and her connection to Kabbalah played a part in her sister’s suicide, is about to write a book about the tragedy.

Madonna cut her off, as all Newagers cut off those who don't go along.

Control.

My friend, Ann Althouse, got into the act:

Take your bogus energy and get out of here.

That's probably the quote of the day. The Advice Goddess ain't crazy about the wimpies either, saying "I Am Man-Pussy, Hear Me Apologize".

Good for her.

And finally (for this post) James Arthur Ray's mom says he's been misportrayed:

I think that he's being portrayed as a real cruel human being, as someone that has no feelings for anyone, that just wants to be a dictator so to speak, and that isn't him at all.

No, no, no - he's just killed a few people and didn't even try to help them when he had a chance. He's a sweetheart. A pussycat.

Another NewAge gift to humanity.