Moron Of The Month: Headlocks Cause Dain Bramage

Every now and then someone unabashedly spews everything in their head all at once. We call it “projectile stupidity”, and it’s not a pretty sight.

Drum roll please…

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, professional wrestler turned celebrity whose entire head is made of densely packed raw meat may have already won Moron Of The Year, even though it’s early, because we can’t imagine anyone topping this, from Fox News:

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is ready for the little green men to come and take him away.

Seriously!

The "Race To Witch Mountain" star confessed his belief in extraterrestrial beings while promoting his new movie at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood Wednesday night.

"I've always believed in UFOs," Johnson told Fox News.com. "But you also mentioned a word which was very interesting, the word magic. I'm a believer in magic, and I'm a believer in the world of possibility.

So I'm one of those 'anything could happen if you believe it' type of guys."

TIME OUT: So far this sounds like typical dumb-shit prattle of a meathead trying to get into the pants of a NewAge ditzy broad in a bar. The old “Sensitive NewAge Guy” ruse. By the way, it usually works with today’s huge numbers of stupid, brainless women.

We continue:

Which makes sense for a celebrity who rose from the world of professional wrestling to become one of Hollywood's biggest action stars.

But it's not all pixies, fairy dust and "E.T. phone home" for the star.

"I can believe in the magic and the power of possibility but I am also pretty logical as well," he explains. "A plus B most of the time equals C."

OK – we were wrong. It’s not a ruse. It’s actual brain damage. Or brain death.

That last paragraph cannot be emphasized enough. It is a sad yet vivid picture of terminal cognitive dissonance, and the stupidest thing any human has ever said in the history of the world.

Imagine you’re Mr. Raw-Meathead. Most of the time when you get change for a dollar you get four quarters, but sometimes you only get two or three.

This moron should not be allowed to vote, drive or handle sharp objects, and he should be URGENTLY and forcibly sterilized before he reproduces. In fact, any and all women willing to have sex with this cretin should be identified and also sterilized, with malice.

Humanity does not need anymore specimens from the dried-up end of the gene pool.

And, as always, our deepest thanks to the members of the public who have made this vacuum processed turd into a well paid celebrity. Report to the disintegration chambers.