A "Two Girls/One Cup" Joke's In This Somewhere

"The portrait that emerges of Oprah is of a rather sinister figure,...and what of Okrant’s conclusions about the talk-show host? In her book they are mostly hedged, infuriatingly so at times, although she is willing to say that, 'Oprah devalues women by focusing so much on our bodies,' and that lessons on spirituality are best not delivered in a format that requires the funding of commercial advertisers. Okrant also expresses frustration about Oprah’s lectures on saving the planet, or vegan cleanse diets, when she flies by private jet and employs a personal chef. Ironically enough, these are peeves shared by a good number of Republicans, albeit for different reasons. But what about Oprah’s successes? What about the advice that’s actually worth following? Complimenting her husband was a good idea, says Okrant, and the turkey burgers were delicious, if expensive. Alas, the S-shaped stool proved to be more troublesome. 'You have to eat in a certain way,' she advises. 'Lots of fibre and water and fish oils. For a while I was just getting "C" shapes, although even that I was pretty proud of.'

But did it ever happen? Did she ever produce a bowl movement worthy of her Best Life? 'I made one,' she sighs. 'It was a good day.'"

-- Chris Ayres, on Robyn Okrant's new memoir, Living Oprah - the story of how, for one year, Okrant did whatever the NewAge talk show host declared - only to have it all come down to this, in The Times Online.