The Daily Mail, A Little Droll Stand Up & Russian Rap (What Else Do You Need?)

 

  Terrifying footage shows paranormal hunters investigating remote Wyoming building where a 15-year-old girl was hidden and found in a coffin 50 years later 

   

  Inside the 'toxic' underbelly of Brandy Melville: Popular brand's former employees lay bare HORRIFYING racism, harassment and 'exploitation' they say they were subjected to - as explosive new doc prepares to lift the lid on truth about 'fast fashion CULT' 

   

  Ashton Kutcher is expecting a SUBPOENA over 'good friend' Diddy's sex trafficking probe - as his wife Mila Kunis BANS him from speaking to the rapper - months after couple were slammed for supporting convicted rapist Danny Masterson

Water Ain't Everything (Flooding New York)

Trail of child brides, sexual abuse, drug trafficking leads to Philippine cult’s ‘baby Jesus’

Democrats Criticize Republicans For Impeaching Biden When He's Dead In A Few Weeks Anyway

MORE ON THE NEW PAT BOONE: Let’s start another war to stop Antony Blinken singing

Ashton Kutcher Is Trying To Get 'His Reputation Out of the Dirt' After Danny Masterson Support

YOU'RE THE FOOL: Pagan lunar worship has reached a new generation thanks to TikTok

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "The Apache were seldom found hunting buffalo through Berlin"

 

Chris Ashton Kutcher: "Opportunity" Looks A Lot Like Hard Work And "Being Sexy" Is All About Being Smart

Here's TMR's Message To Millennials (Generation Y) in case any of this sounds original,...

 

Lego (I'm Outta Here - And I'm Pissed,...)

Alright, first read this and then I've got some questions:

When Ashton Kutcher decided to split with Demi Moore, his love life wasn’t the only thing that needed an overhaul. While married to the crazy, aging star he was knee-deep in Kabbalah teachings.  He appeared to be as devout in the practice as Demi and it was one of the things that seemed to cement their relationship. Somewhere along the way Ashton took a good hard look at his entire life and realized that more than just his relationship was a bad fit. When he and Mila Kunis, who is Jewish, first hooked up a year ago she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to be studying Kabbalah for him. She, like many, feels it’s not a legitimate religion and even made fun of it. 

Flash forward a year and apparently Ashton too, is seeing Kabbalah as a big sham.

Man, that guy is s-l-o-w (Certainly, Mila Kunis - like Demi Moore, Madonna and Angelina - likes 'em stupid) and the line "she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to be studying Kabbalah for him" is a classic. What a schmuck Ashton is. (Way to go, Mila!) O.K., enough - here's my questions: 

1) Would you trust the long-term stability of someone who was always switching religions, based on who he or she was sleeping with at any given moment? 

2) Would you trust the long-term stability of someone dumb enough to fall for Kabbalah? 

3) Would you trust the long-term stability of a marriage to someone who's already got a history of ending them - someone who thinks they're involved in a, immature, boyfriend/girlfriend enterprise - when we can only have one "spouse" in a lifetime? 

4) If you were the sucker - dumb enough to let some idiot talk you into "a big sham" - would you wait until you're no longer an idiot before you got involved with someone else, or would you just jump in with both feet, and potentially damage your (new) loved one through your lack of common sense?* 

 5) Would you marry a Jew? (Kidding,...)

*#4? I'll answer this one:

You're pathetic - and will do anything, to anyone, to get your way. You have no "loved one" (new or otherwise) besides your own image. You can switch "spouses" because your hippie parents taught you other people are interchangeable. Just as your beliefs are. (You believed you loved this person, now you love this one,...) What's it matter who you hurt or what pain you caused? Hurting others is how your parents raised you to became "you". First, they did it to their parents, and now it's everyone else who would dare tell you "no". The Peace & Love culture raised you to be a selfish asshole - but with that stupid-assed dumb and silly smile.

Well, fuck you and fuck them:

You've had the whole thing backwards from the beginning,...

Bad Nose Jobs And Rapid Hair Loss Included

"If people want to pick up Jewish traditions without learning the background or observance, let them share in receiving the Desmond Tutu and Louis Farrakhan blood-libel attacks.

See how it could help? Take, for example, the Hollywood Kabbalah cult. I was always taught that Kabbalah was advanced Jewish study, and I was told that before I could truly understand it I would have to know Judaism backward, forward, and sideways. Yet the Hollywood Kabbalah cult skipped the foundation and went straight to the Zohar (the sacred Jewish text of Kabbalah).

I say we should give them our blessing. But before 'Esther' puts on her yarmulke, douses herself with Kabbalah water, or makes another music video about Kaballah while behaving inappropriately with another woman, I ask that she has a little press conference.

She should announce that it is she, not the Jews, who controls the media.

It’s a believable concept. Let’s face it — anybody who has seen any of her last few movies may already believe the only way she could have had them produced would be if she controlled the media.

Or take Madonna’s Kabbalah protégé, Demi Moore. Demi has a tattoo of a cross on her arm. Judaism forbids tattoos, so a tattoo of a cross … let’s just say it’s not very kosher.

But I say we tell Ms. Moore all is well, so long as she calls Obama advisor Samantha Power and convinces her that the Jews don’t control foreign policy in America — she and Ashton do."

-- Sammy Benoit, showing why I'm a sucker for almost any Jew named "Sammy" - long story, but it all started with Sammy Davis, Jr. - which is probably what they're using to take over Pajamas Media.

Minge, Malawi, Manipulation, Mental Illness,...

"Before Madonna 'adopts' another child from Malawi, maybe someone should ask her where the money went from her big star studded 2008 fundraiser for that country.

We tried: this column has tried to ascertain from The Gucci Foundation and from Madonna’s Kabbalah-backed Raising Malawi where the estimated $3.7 million has gone from the February 6, 2008 extravaganza. So far: No answers.

You may recall that Madonna summoned all her celebrity friends, especially the ones involved with Kabbalah like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, as well those caught up in their own fringe religions like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

The fundraiser had some problems, however. Even though Raising Malawi had been in business for two years, it was still not approved as a sanctioned non profit at the time. Instead, Gucci formed its own Foundation — known as a 501 c3 — to collect the money. They brought UNICEF on board to give the event a feeling of legitimacy. But in the end, the efforts expended were for Raising Malawi, an organization founded by the Kabbalah Center of Los Angeles. Raising Malawi teaches the Kabbalah curriculum, called Spirituality for Kids, to Malawi orphans.

Now, fourteen months after the fundraiser, there’s no accounting for the money that came in."

-- Roger Friedman, who's giving us lots of good information ("In Malawi she dresses conservatively, as if in a movie role, and not at all as she lives in the U.S. or U.K. It’s doubtful that the Malawi HRCC has ever seen her “Sex” book, for example.) but he still doesn't sound like he's got a grasp of how cults - we mean "fringe religions" - "work" yet, but we'll give him time since it's a good piece and he works for Fox News.

Demi Moore’s Merkin Gets Waxed

No, not that one. The one she married.

In a video posted by TMZ, Kutcher attempts a rip-off of ‘The Forty Year Old Virgin’ except it’s not funny or even amusing.

No slaves were harmed, or freed, in the making of this video.

Oh Fuck: Demi Moore Has No Butt!!!

How thoughtful:

Good ol' Ashton Kutcher took a photo of what-little-butt-his-wife-has and put it up on Twitter. How's that for respect in a marriage, ladies, huh? Guys?

Next thing you know she'll wind up here - because her baby wuvs her so much!!! (Warning: Porn - don't click if you're at work!)

These kids today - Sheesh - No respect at all. Or common sense. Oh well: that's what you get when you decide to marry 'em.

But then (Butt thin?) from the looks of things, they sometimes don't get that much out of the deal either,...

Real Americans Bust Another NewAge Bubble

"I don’t want to attack her, but the truth is very savage. We were infected enough with her behavior in the jungle. Now I just want to get immunized.

I can get over just about anything, but I don’t know about Ingrid. Forgive? Yes. Move on? Yes. Respect? No."

-- Keith Stansell, ex-Marine, former captive of Columbia's FARC - and one of the authors of the book, “Out of Captivity” - on Ingrid Betancourt (his celebrated fellow captive) who the Americans described as "a rotten piece of fruit," in The New York Times.

Another former captive, Luis Eladio Pérez, strengthens the NewAge outlines of the story, saying:

“Ingrid is a person who generates a great deal of envy. Not even the kidnapping had taken away that karma, above all because 90 percent of the news stories that were heard about the kidnapping were about her, as if the rest of us did not exist.”

Of course, it's that (nonexistent) "karma" at work - not her behavior with others - and who in our NewAge news media cares about a bunch of men in captivity? (No one's rushing to save Ashton Kutcher, after all,...)

Ingrid, BTW, is now living in France, the "selfish and haughty" capital of the world.

Tim: Homeless. Sean Penn: Brainless. Homeless Is Better.

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Pimp This Bum

So where are the celebrity pledger assholes when you need them?

Celebrity Pledge Update:

Demi Moore, right, took her Merkin to Berlin, Germany for a film screening.

There is no evidence any slaves were freed during the trip, but as you can see, Demi practiced and practiced her “trout pout”, while Merkin tried hard to look like an adult.

We Knew You'd Be Surprised,...

Rumours are rife that Gwyneth Paltrow has converted to Kabbalah, after she stepped out in New York wearing a bracelet of her best friend Madonna's faith.

The rumours were sparked after she attended a New York screening of her new movie Two Lovers on February 11, wearing a red string bracelet on her wrist.

Kabbalah texts cite that the bracelets protect wearers from negative forces and the "Evil Eye,” reports Contactmusic.

The Shakespeare in Love star has been spending a lot of time with Madonna, since the Material Girl parted ways from husband Guy Ritchie.

In fact, the duo’s partying antics have even raised question marks about Paltrow's marriage to Coldplay rocker Chris Martin.

If the ‘Kabbalah’ rumours turn true, then Paltrow will join the likes of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, whom Madonna recruited into the faith.

-- Sify Movies.

People, feel free to click the tags, below, for the famous folks in this post, to see what cultism does to the mind, friendships and families, once someone decides to believe NewAge nonsense. Don't forget: these people were famous before they got into this stuff, so what we have (by virtue of these particular cultists being celebrities) is as much of a close-up view that most people will ever get of how far from reality someone becomes once they start dabbling in this - not to mention the rituals of making sillier and sillier outlandish claims, hypocrisy, loss of credibility - and talent - the divorces, serial betrayals, adultery and cheating, broken friendships, and other acts of personal skullduggery that benefit no one but the believer - until the (inevitable) great fall. Like Nike said:

"Just do it!"

Ashton Kutcher Inadvertently Punks Himself

He wasn't quite sure until Demi Moore confirmed for him that it really happened.

Joseph Nigro - With A Celebrity Pledge Update

As promised, we’re keeping track of Demi Moore and her Merkin, Ashton Kutcher, so you can stay informed on “I Pledge” progress.

We’ve not noticed any recent uptick in freed slaves yet, and the only results so far of the Merkin’s pledge to represent his country with “pride, dignity and honesty” has been his threat to kill his neighbor.

Cameron Diaz’s pledge, “I’m gonna give ‘em a smile” (referring to a stranger) almost came to pass, but while attempting to do so, she became confused and walked into a pole.

We’re happy to report the stranger got away.

Gina Gershon has made no progress in stem cell research so far. She attributes that to being preoccupied with fighting rumors she was doing Bill Clinton, alternating with actually doing Bill Clinton.

Anyway, that's what we heard. More timely results to follow.

Christopher Ciccone On Demi Moore: Gay Men Ain't Shit (Once The Flirt Starts To Squirt)

"Christopher Ciccone has branded Demi Moore a 'diva' who treats gay men like handbags.

The 48-year-old artist - who is released a tell-all book entitled 'Life With My Sister Madonna' last year, in which he declared his famous older sister a control freak, a narcissist and a cheapskate - said the 'Striptease' star stopped speaking to him when she met her now-husband Ashton Kutcher.

After meeting at a Los Angeles Kabbalah centre, Demi and openly homosexual Christopher became firm friends. However, when Demi's relationship with Ashton started to get serious, Christopher claims she immediately dropped him.

He told Britain's Observer newspaper: 'A certain kind of diva carries a gay man around like a handbag, like an accessory. And then once they find the right straight guy, they don't need a male companion any more.'

It isn't the first time Christopher has spoken out against the 46-year-old actress - last year he revealed she squirted her breast milk at his lesbian friends during a night out.

He said: 'We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. The one part that's not in the book is that she was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends... the lawyers didn't think it was wise for me to print that.'"

-- China Daily

Joseph Nigro: We Pledge,...

TMR pledges to look at this photograph and know, with awe struck amazement, there’s nothing going on inside that head.

Her pledge: “I’m gonna give them a smile.”

How generous.

TMR pledges to stop picturing you on Bill Clinton’s lap and try hard to see you as merely irrelevant instead of sleazy and arrogant. In exchange, you will continue your stem cell research.

TMR pledges to watch in earnest as you free one million slaves. Does this mean you’ll divorce and set free your man-boy/lapdog?

TMR pledges to resist any notion that you represent this country in any way. Now go run to mommy so she can punk you.

TMR pledges to never forgive you for holding out on humanity. All this time you could have cured Alzheimer’s and yet you wait until now.

I Bet It Is

"Ashton Kutcher: Kabbalah makes my marriage to Demi Moore work"

-- Claudia Tanner, who should remind Ashton that marriage isn't supposed to be work, in Now.