Saturday, March 23, 2013

Lego (I'm Outta Here - And I'm Pissed,...)

Alright, first read this and then I've got some questions:
When Ashton Kutcher decided to split with Demi Moore, his love life wasn’t the only thing that needed an overhaul. While married to the crazy, aging star he was knee-deep in Kabbalah teachings.  He appeared to be as devout in the practice as Demi and it was one of the things that seemed to cement their relationship. Somewhere along the way Ashton took a good hard look at his entire life and realized that more than just his relationship was a bad fit. When he and Mila Kunis, who is Jewish, first hooked up a year ago she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to be studying Kabbalah for him. She, like many, feels it’s not a legitimate religion and even made fun of it. 
Flash forward a year and apparently Ashton too, is seeing Kabbalah as a big sham.

Man, that guy is s-l-o-w (Certainly, Mila Kunis - like Demi Moore, Madonna and Angelina - likes 'em stupid) and the line "she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to be studying Kabbalah for him" is a classic. What a schmuck Ashton is. (Way to go, Mila!) O.K., enough - here's my questions: 

1) Would you trust the long-term stability of someone who was always switching religions, based on who he or she was sleeping with at any given moment? 

2) Would you trust the long-term stability of someone dumb enough to fall for Kabbalah

3) Would you trust the long-term stability of a marriage to someone who's already got a history of ending them - someone who thinks they're involved in a, immature, boyfriend/girlfriend enterprise - when we can only have one "spouse" in a lifetime? 

4) If you were the sucker - dumb enough to let some idiot talk you into "a big sham" - would you wait until you're no longer an idiot before you got involved with someone else, or would you just jump in with both feet, and potentially damage your (new) loved one through your lack of common sense?* 

 5) Would you marry a Jew? (Kidding,...)

*#4? I'll answer this one:

You're pathetic - and will do anything, to anyone, to get your way. You have no "loved one" (new or otherwise) besides your own image. You can switch "spouses" because your hippie parents taught you other people are interchangeable. Just as your beliefs are. (You believed you loved this person, now you love this one,...) What's it matter who you hurt or what pain you caused? Hurting others is how your parents raised you to became "you". First, they did it to their parents, and now it's everyone else who would dare tell you "no". The Peace & Love culture raised you to be a selfish asshole - but with that stupid-assed dumb and silly smile.

Well, fuck you and fuck them:

You've had the whole thing backwards from the beginning,...


  1. 1-4 "No"
    5: Depends upon the Jew! (this can work for just about everyone though, so there's that, but let's be real: seems a lot of Jewish kids...especially wealthy whitebread Jewish kids who go to fancy ass colleges and live in upscale neighborhoods...get into all manner of nutty shit: from buying organic hemp sandals to well, Kabbalah; I don't really want to be hanging with them, the crazy might rub off...other Jews...sure, why not?)

  2. Uhm, I should perhaps clarify: on #4...I'm not sure if after experiencing that I'd necessarily want to have a relationship with anyone else -- hence the "no".
    Maybe I should turn that one into a "maybe"...but I'd at least wait and really take a long time convincing myself I wanted to be in a any other person could probably rest assured that I'd gotten most of the stupid out of my system.

  3. oh! this was for Mr. Kutcher...well, in that case: take your vast amounts of money and create a reserve, a zoo like location for yourself and like minded it and never come out (and warn the rest of us off with signs) that way you all can be happy prancing around clad in hemp sandals, communing with the goddess and doing yoga; and the rest of us can be happy not being saddled with you -- please don't have relationships except with people just like yourself Ashton; that way nobody really gets hurt.

    Or just take up being a hermit with a vow of silence as your new religious gig after this one gets old...maybe we'll all get lucky and that will be the one you stick with (but I wouldn't hold my breathe).