Merry Christmas

The Daily Show: Seeing Stuff Wingers Don't See Happen

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The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

Bad Santa's White & Wants To Make Kids Work For Gifts

These things are scripted to reflect the culture, right?

When Is Someone In The World Of Advertising Going To Acknowledge I Don't Identify With Any Of These People?

 Listen, I'm hardly the Duck Dynasty type, but come ON: 

 When it comes to Christmas, this is easily as bad a mis-step as FOX News' "White Santa" nonsense,...

 

FACT: Real Men Don't Engage In This Type Of Behavior

"Ho ho — huh?

The family of an African-American high school student in New Mexico says he’s crushed after a teacher questioned why he was wearing Santa garb during a school holiday dress-up day last week, CNN affiliate KOAT reported.

The teacher told Christopher Rougier, a freshman at Cleveland High School, that he couldn’t be Santa because Santa is white, the student’s father, Michael, told KOAT.

'He was embarrassed,' he told the station.

Now, his son doesn’t want anything to do with Christmas."

Thank you, Megyn Kelly - and remember, this is what Ann Althouse called "less than nothing,” with she and Glenn Reynolds (with his hair totally on the most exquisitely delusional fire) imagining it's a Christmas anti-white jihad or something equally preposterous:

"[Megyn’s] a big deal now with her own show. They have to Palinize her fast, or women might listen to her and see another way."

Ooooh - Megyn Kelly - as deeply influential?

That comment - like most of Glenn's - is just too stupid for words, except:

Good luck with that one, Genius!

I'd think Ann would stop this nonsense by now - it must be the stupid feminist notions she finds attractive:

Surely, Glenn's political track record is starting to speak for itself,...

 

Glenn Reynolds Is The Right's Race-Baiting Blogfather

He's promoting some other gun-toting yahoo, going on about "Apartheid Santa in Los Angeles,” like they forgot the most important thing that spurred apartheid:

The evil whites on the other side of the divide. 

You know, like blacks weren't just minding our own business (black Santas aren't a new phenom in Los Angeles as Glenn and the lunatic imply) when Megyn Kelly decided she just had to inform the nation, and world, of white supremacy's point-of-view. 

No, no, no - all of this is reflective of black racism, you see: 

 Including me saying Fuck Glenn Reynolds.

There ARE evil whites on the other side of this divide,...

 

"'Cause He's Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown, Baddest Man In,..."

A preacher who's given up the faith - and, I mean, really given up the faith.

 

Megyn Kelly's got the Black Santa lobby "on the move" - thanks Megyn. I've never seen so many. And then, there's this:

"The only thing more heartwarmingly adorable than the modern interpretation of a unicorn is two unicorns.  Or a rainbow.  Maybe a puppy.  Everybody loves a unicorn, right?  Wrong.  If you ever chance to encounter a unicorn, approach with a healthy dose of trepidation and two fingers of suspicion.  Odds are it will gore you to death given the chance.  The magically awesome, crunchy goodness attributed to the unicorn with which we are all familiar is a product of a remarkably effective medieval propaganda machine."

Justa rockin' WORLDS!

 

FOX's Megyn Kelly Isn't Worried I Feel Uncomfortable III

♬"Looks like we made it,...."♪

And now - arriving all the way from (where else?) my so-on-it-it-hurts hometown of South Central, Los Angeles - that little bit of comfort every nigga needs:

"Dressed in a red Santa suit, white beard and rimless glasses balanced on his nose, Langston Patterson sits on a velvet couch and waits for his adoring fans.

Some call first to make sure he will be there. They come from Palmdale, Thousand Oaks and San Bernardino, driving past many shopping malls with Santas, but none that look like him.

For nearly a decade, Patterson has been the main attraction at Baldwin Hills Crenshaw Plaza during Christmastime: a rare black Santa Claus in a sea of white ones.

The mall, located in the heart of black Los Angeles, is one of the few in the country with a black Santa Claus. Some say Patterson is the only black shopping-mall Santa Claus in the Los Angeles area.”

And with that - and as someone born and raised in "the heart of black Los Angeles" - I hope Megyn Kelly becomes the last idiot newscaster-who-likes-fucking-with-blacks in the country,...

 

FOX's Megyn Kelly Isn't Worried I Feel Uncomfortable II

"Santa's not black just because some blogger wishes he was,..."

FOX's Megyn Kelly Isn't Worried I Feel Uncomfortable

Hell, no - that bitch is actually being celebrated by whites for making me hear the truth:

"Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. It's like we have, he's a historical figure that's a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I just want kids to know that. How do you revise it in the middle of the legacy in the story and change Santa from white to black?"

Using logic like that, I'm not qualified to have this conversation,...

 

My Love Don't Give Me Presents,...

So where was I? 

Oh yeah - I was Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes or something.

Was I right or what? 

Of course I was.

But it's time to get back on that horse.

Seems to me NewAgers overplayed their hand again, and the "Mayan Apocalypse" - like the "Harmonic Convergence" before it - reduced them to the Republican Party of the spirit world.

Nothing new there, apparently:

The real Santa was truly a rough-and-tumble son of a bitch,…Not only did he smack the bishop, but,…Of all his strong opinions, none matched his hatred of paganism.

And a Merry Christmas! to that!

Celebrate by freely telling "be humble" types to get over themselves.

They wouldn't have been insisting on it if they weren't intimidated or otherwise threatened.

(That's "operating from a position of fear" for those of you keeping score at home.)

Oh, I feel like a bad guy on Batman's old TV show, all yakkity-yak-yak-yak - so quickly:

We're on to you.

It's over.

And starting today - in honor of Ol' Saint Nick - let the beheadings begin,….

 

The Ghosts Of Pagan Christmas' Past (Due Date)

Oh look - Life Magazine has some classic 1941 photos of a depressing Nazi Christmas. Hitler couldn't take Russia so all he could do is sit around with a bunch of lunatics asking, "What do wanna do?" "I don't know, what do wanna do?"

Fucking brutal.

The Daily Mail tells us "the Nazi Christmas was far from traditional", as if we didn't already know that, seeing as we've been lately telling you - over and over - Ol' Adolph was an early NewAger. So, "naturally", he went the "spiritual but not religious" route and "replaced the Christian figure of Saint Nicholas with the Norse god Odin and urged Germans to celebrate the season as a holiday of the ‘winter solstice’, rather than Christmas."

See? Paganism. Just like today! Doesn't that make you feel better about NewAge Pagans and Nazis? They've got shit in common, baby!

Out of sight at the top of the tree behind Hitler was a swastika instead of an angel, and many of the baubles carried runic symbols and iron cross motifs.

Now'a'days, it would be whatever's approved for Eric Holder's "holiday" gatherings (AKA the "Axis of Winter") or a staff meeting of the Oprah Winfrey Network.

My, how times change - but those whackjob "beliefs" must always remain the same!

Critical Thinking: The Greatest Gift Of All

"My 8-year-old son, Caleb, puts his hand on my shoulder; he wears an expression that shows he wants to have a man-to-man talk. 'Dad,' he says, 'I know there's no Santa Claus.' He rattles off his indictments, starting with the pure physics of the enterprise. There's no way one guy can visit every house in a single night. And how does he get into houses with no chimneys? Then there's the matter of zoology -- not a single nature book on our shelves mentions flying reindeer. Perhaps most important for an 8-year-old, there's the weight of public opinion -- none of Caleb's friends believe in Santa any more. He leans close, his voice taking that tone of worldliness that is at once endearing and saddening to a parent. 'He isn't real, is he?'"

-- Tony Woodlief, a Christian, explaining - in an extremely convoluted way - why his kid is smarter than he is, in The Wall Street Journal.

Self-Preservation And The Great Coffin Shake: You've Got No One To Blame (But Yourselves)

It is, both, sad and embarrassing how fucked up the kids of the hippie generation have turned out to be; raised to blame the president for all of it, while wrecking havoc themselves. Politically dumb as a rock about everything but a mirror. Deaf and blind to criticism, or historical significance, there's a distinct possibility they'll be the end of our world, ushering in an age where they themselves will have to answer to the ruthless masters they'd hoped their childish antics would have allowed them to be.

The ultimate slaves to the rhythm, half a man (or woman) with no arms, destined to be cuffed about the head forever because they never did anything to prepare for stopping it. Or, more importantly, because they invited it, like a smoker determined to die. The bastards. I know, I know: as a foster child, I shouldn't call them that. They have no idea what or why they're doing what they're doing. The metaphysically ignorant fools. Right now they're making me cry.

They dream of Sarah Palin. Applaud fake Sarah Palins. They have no idea what to do with the real Sarah Palin. And it just doesn't register. They might as well be interviewing themselves. But that would be stupid because the "smart" ones end up saying humiliating things like:

"Back when I was a mystic, devoutly religious Wiccan priestess, alt-med, tarot-card-reading person, I lived with a constant background radiation of fear."

Convinced conservatives share their twisted outlook. The same conservatives they don't understand. The only people can save them from their backwards intentions. Only intimate with them pushing away.

No sense of touch. No sense of smell. Picking up dust just from crossing a room. Liberals today are just fucking worthless.

I'm their new Santa Claus, now carrying a gun.

And carrying it for my own fucking good.