You're Laughing At Yourselves

What passes for humor in Democratic circles is pretty lame: Sarah Palin is stupid, John McCain is old, etc.. I watched this last night and didn't laugh once, while listening to the liberals - howling - just because Tina Fey showed up.

Like the audiences for David Letterman and Bill Maher (Bush is stupid) or even The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (the Republicans are stupid) it's just too simpleminded to be truly humorous. Just preaching to the choir - without any music - drawing in nobody but the true believers. Comedians should be able to do better.

Now this was good:

Now, that isn't funny because I don't like Bill Clinton (and I don't) but because, on various levels, it effortlessly nails him - as exactly the kind of dishonest, smarmy, disloyal, creep Democrats associate with and defend - which really isn't funny at all, but it got me laughing anyway, what can I say? The ugliness Democrats openly support - while imagining nobody else can see it - cracks me up.

Plus, as hilarious as it may sound, I'll take old and stupid over dishonest and smarmy any day.

I Told You: John McCain Won The Debate!

I've gotten a few e-mails from crazy liberals, claiming I declared McCain the debate's winner because I'm in the tank. Bullshit. This blog is called The Macho Response, not I Write My Beliefs (because I reject beliefs, remember?). So, just to prove my point, here's a few other opinions to show it's crazy liberals who are (still) living in a dream world - in case the fact McCain has already risen by two points in the polls ain't enough. Read 'em and weep:

"Before I get spun, I'd say: small, Pyrrhic victory for McCain. McCain wanted to make Obama seem naive and inexperienced. He did about 40% of that. Obama wanted to make McCain seem dangerously ambitious, bellicose and hotheaded. He did 0% of that. But a) the foreign policy stuff came after a long period on the economy, where McCain seemed a bit frenetic and Obama had the upper hand; and b) Obama didn't seem non-credible, which may be enough to carry him through given all the other advantages he has. ..

...Does Keith Olbermann's show make it seem like their guy must have lost because their guy lost--they sound like the Politburo meeting after the Cuban Missile Crisis--or would Keith Olbermann's show make it seem like their guy must have lost even when their guy won?”

-- Mickey Kaus, giving the most accurate reading, for Slate.com.

And here's a roundup from Jennifer Rubin of Pajamas Media:

"On foreign policy McCain simply hit it out of the ballpark.

...Obama’s spinners tended to call it a draw while McCain’s group was ecstatic. William Krstol on FOX said “no knockout but on the offense throughout.” Nina Easton, also on FOX, criticized Obama — “something bland and policy-speak” about him she thought. Juan Williams conceded that Obama didn’t really successfully tie George W. Bush to Obama.

...McCain got some praise from a variety of sources — CNN’s Bill Schneider and Politico’s Jonathan Martin. But the killer quote came from Henry Kissinger whom Obama had invoked to criticize McCain’s stance that we should not meet unconditionally with Ahmadinejad. Kissinger retorted: “Senator McCain is right. I would not recommend the next President of the United States engage in talks with Iran at the Presidential level. My views on this issue are entirely compatible with the views of my friend Senator John McCain. We do not agree on everything, but we do agree that any negotiations with Iran must be geared to reality.”

George Stephanopoulos had this to say: “These guys came to play on each other’s turf. It was really surprising to me is that John McCain came in here with a disadvantage on the economy. Barack Obama had a big advantage, yet I think [McCain] spent the 30 minutes very effectively pounding home the points that have to control spending and earmarks.”

And from NBC’s Tom Brokaw: “That was the most distinctive difference obviously once we got into the area of national security. John McCain bored in on Barack Obama. He’s been reading the same polls we all have. There are grave reservations in most of the polls about whether Barack Obama has enough experience and whether he’s qualified to be commander in chief. And tonight Senator McCain went right after that vulnerability in Barack Obama.”

McCain also got kudos from Tom Yepsen, the most respected reporter in Iowa,...

Roger Simon was equally glowing, declaring “Mac Is Back”

...the best the Obama-friendly pundits could muster was the claim that The One hadn’t been knocked out.

...even The New Republic offered up praise:

McCain also had a clarity of message that Obama lacked. His core message is easy to sum up: Let’s cut waste and spending. I’m a tough leader. Obama is naive and unprepared. Obama, by contrast, had no single message that he repeatedly drove home. He came across as sensible, studious, and thoughtful–but at times abstract and passionless."

There, you cultists. It wasn't pretty but it was a win - for McCain. (I don't know why you guys have such a hard time with the truth.) Whatev. Just don't doubt me again:

I'm the only friend you've got.

Checking The Temperature Of Global Warming Cultism By Repeatedly Sticking It Up Their Ass

"The BBC is being investigated by television watchdogs after a leading climate change sceptic claimed his views were deliberately misrepresented.

Lord Monckton, a former adviser to Margaret Thatcher, says he was made to look like a ‘potty peer’ on a TV programme that ‘was a one-sided polemic for the new religion of global warming’."

-- Tamara Cohen, on one of the men who had previously forced the British courts to admit "An Inconvenient Truth" isn't science - a finding the environmental movement, and their friends in the media, chose to under-report or ignore - once again getting hot under the collar to The Daily Mail.

Feint Praise

"If there was a winner in the first presidential debate it would have to be Barack Obama, but only because he managed to get in a couple of punches on John McCain without looking like he was picking on Granddad.”

-- Willie Brown, calling it as he saw it - which I don't agree with, but it's still worth noting, on the SFGate.com.

The Teachings Of Carlos: You Had Better Look Out For Yourself Because The Media Won't

This is a fascinating 1988 James Randi video, of him working with the Australian version of 60 Minutes to create a fake NewAge media sensation called "Carlos". It reveals not only how gullible the "spiritual" public is, but also how lame the media is, posing as the public's protectors.

If you ever wanted proof that a good portion of our lives are nothing but one big scam, this is it. Watch and learn.

Whoa: Mike Huckabee Has A T.V. Show!

This is wild: I just turned on the television and there he was, Governor Mike Huckabee, with his own talk show on FOX! It was kind of inevitable, I guess, because he's good in front of the camera (which is highly unusual for evangelicals). He's a really classy guy.

The first question he took was from a Democrat, and it was on "faith". (I could enjoy this.) His first guest is Elizabeth Hasselbeck from The View - and they're discussing Jeremiah Wright! Where else are you going to get this?

Something tells me this show could prove important.

Congratulations, Governor: I'm really looking forward to this!

Now Thuggery: Barack Obama's "Truth" Squad

JEFFERSON CITY - Gov. Matt Blunt today issued the following statement on news reports that have exposed plans by U.S. Senator Barack Obama to use Missouri law enforcement to threaten and intimidate his critics.

“St. Louis County Circuit Attorney Bob McCulloch, St. Louis City Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce, Jefferson County Sheriff Glenn Boyer, and Obama and the leader of his Missouri campaign Senator Claire McCaskill have attached the stench of police state tactics to the Obama-Biden campaign.

“What Senator Obama and his helpers are doing is scandalous beyond words, the party that claims to be the party of Thomas Jefferson is abusing the justice system and offices of public trust to silence political criticism with threats of prosecution and criminal punishment.

“This abuse of the law for intimidation insults the most sacred principles and ideals of Jefferson. I can think of nothing more offensive to Jefferson’s thinking than using the power of the state to deprive Americans of their civil rights. The only conceivable purpose of Messrs. McCulloch, Obama and the others is to frighten people away from expressing themselves, to chill free and open debate, to suppress support and donations to conservative organizations targeted by this anti-civil rights, to strangle criticism of Mr. Obama, to suppress ads about his support of higher taxes, and to choke out criticism on television, radio, the Internet, blogs, e-mail and daily conversation about the election.

“Barack Obama needs to grow up. Leftist blogs and others in the press constantly say false things about me and my family. Usually, we ignore false and scurrilous accusations because the purveyors have no credibility. When necessary, we refute them. Enlisting Missouri law enforcement to intimidate people and kill free debate is reminiscent of the Sedition Acts - not a free society.”

Don't Look At Me, Genius: I'm The Guy You Hate For Laughing At Your Hypocrisy, Re-member?

"People who believe they have the greenest lifestyles can be seen as some of the main culprits behind global warming, says a team of researchers, who claim that many ideas about sustainable living are a myth.

According to the researchers, people who regularly recycle rubbish and save energy at home are also the most likely to take frequent long-haul flights abroad. The carbon emissions from such flights can swamp the green savings made at home, the researchers claim.

Stewart Barr, of Exeter University, who led the research, said: 'Green living is largely something of a myth. There is this middle class environmentalism where being green is part of the desired image. But another part of the desired image is to fly off skiing twice a year. And the carbon savings they make by not driving their kids to school will be obliterated by the pollution from their flights.'”

-- David Adam, giving the efforts to reduce our carbon footprint the boot, for the very Left-wing Guardian U.K..

I talk and talk and talk to you, but you just won't listen - then you deny that it's a cult. Fine. Just do me one favor: please, doofus, direct me to a cult that listens. I swear, you guys are stoopid. Hurt your feelings? Sorry, but you need to hear it. I'm going even further, because you've now subjected me to years of listening to your self-righteous moralistic blather and ruined T.V. with these God-awful "green" commercials. So here it is:

You are the idiots the Earth can do without.

There, I said it. And I feel so much better now,...not that you'd care about anyone else's feelings but your own. But then, that's also part-and-parcel of being in a cult. Duh.

Hat Tip: Deceiver.com

Who ARE All These PEOPLE?!?

Just to show you that "nothing succeeds like success", I'm happy to report to TMR's supporters that visitors are finally pouring in like nobody's business! They're coming from all over - but, of course, I have to give a special mention to everyone that's looking for "Sarah Palin's pussy" (no, I'm not kidding) and those crusty right-wing pirates at Death By 1000 Papercuts (being "that black guy who's taking on Sam Harris" hasn't hurt one bit).

I hope those who are new will hang around a while, check out a few topics (we're heading towards 2000 posts) pass them to your friends, add TMR to your blogroll (twice even, like my man Panda Bear, M.D.) and, maybe, leave a comment - I talk shit, not bite - or even donate a buck or two: this is a one man crusade against nonsense, and my little Drudge Report For Thinking Folks could use all the help it can get. Believe me: you don't want to know.

Anyway, as you can see, I don't let the weekend slow me down. So "welcome!" and know that I, The Crack Emcee, am truly happy to see you:

I just don't sound like it all the time.

CMC

It's A Joke: Just A Big Fucking Cultish Joke

Do you get it yet? Really? They've been working on this one for years. Here, let me break it down for you:

See, Scientology is known as "the world's most dangerous cult." Scientology is famous for destroying people by any means. Scientology is also despised by the German government, which (it's an understatement to say) knows a thing or two about the evils of cultism. So Germany - unlike the United States, for some reason - has been aggressively moving against Scientology.

O.K., Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. So is "Valkyrie"'s film director Brian Singer. So they get together to make a movie about the men who tried to kill Hitler - painting them as heroes -as a way to make a convoluted statement to those hard-asses in Germany about how their cult isn't the same as being a Nazi (right) believing a movie from Hollywood - which is a major Scientology stronghold - will wipe everyone's mind clean of all the horrible things we know Scientology does, and has done, to people all around the world.

Do you get it now? Do you see? It's a joke! Just a big, ugly, cynical, cultish joke! I'm serious - the whole production is just L. Ron Hubbard making a "funny" from the grave - just ask Oprah:

This one's a real knee-slapper.

Hopefully, He Leaves His Guitar At Home

"Pop star Prince is showing up at people's houses as he tries to preach to them as a Jehovah's Witness, which he converted to in 2001. Some fans are so stunned when they find him at their doorstep that he finds it hard to get away.

'Sometimes fans freak out. It might be a shock to see me, but that's no reason for people to act crazy, and it doesn't give them licence [sic] to chase me down the street,' he told USA Today,...”

-- Caution2, reporting on the diminutive purple religious sex man, for the aptly named Short News.com.

J.Z. Knight's Bodyguard Says Her Ramtha School For Enlightenment Is Nothing But A Cult? I'll Bite First: What The Bleep Does He Know?

“[Glen Cunningham] said he decided to do the interview as a way to help people.

'There’s a lot of people who have approached me about their decision to get out of the [Ramtha] school,' Cunningham said. 'I tell them my stories and it helps them.'

'(Knight) is a very charismatic person,' he said. 'You want to be around her until you get to know her.'

'(But) she’s a drama queen; she likes to have drama in her life.'

...Cunningham also said that he considers RSE to be a cult.

'It’s just like any other cult,' he said. 'All the things they do now are cult activities.'

'I saw 1,200 people who would drink the Kool-Aid,' he said in the online video.

Since leaving RSE, Cunningham has kept fairly quiet on his experience.

Occasionally he warns people how it is so they 'don’t waste their money.'

'I think people have been disenchanted with things,' Cunningham said. 'There are too many dead people who came here to get cured.'

He recalls when a woman suffering from cancer arrived at the school hoping to be cured. In front of everyone, Ramtha hugged her and told her she was free of the disease.

'The whole school is a lie and she’s dead,' he said. 'I saw a lot of them that thought this was going to be their answer, but it wasn’t.'

Through all his experiences, Cunningham doesn’t hold any harsh feelings towards Knight.

He refutes claims made by Knight supporters that he hates the channeler.

“I don’t, because she’s a very brilliant woman,' Cunningham said.

'I just feel sorry for her.'

'She’s got herself in this thing to where she can’t get out. It’s the rest of her life.'”

-- Glen Cunningham, J.Z. Knight's former bodyguard, backing up everything J.Z. Knight's ex-husband said, to Megan Hansen of the Nisqually Valley News.

Yes, kids, once again, little by little, it's all starting to unravel. And this should speak volumes about Knight's chief competitor, the evil Shirley MacLaine, and everyone who helped Knight make those two stupid movies, "What The Bleep Do We Know?", and "What The Bleep Do We Know?: Down The Rabbit Hole," too. It's all a lie - especially the claim to love others.

I remember my ex-wife went to see those movies, and though she wasn't swept away by them, she still returned a changed woman, emboldened by knowing this was a mass cult phenomena, and determined to disrupt everything around her - especially me. (I had no idea what was going on, which was the whole manipulative point.) That's all this stuff is about. That's all it's ever been: pick your level and fuck with the innocents. Just as Cunningham describes here, my ex-wife, too, started compulsively listening to mind control tapes on headphones, and, eventually, became convinced she - a secretary with massive gold fillings in her teeth, and who needed glasses so badly she didn't feel comfortable driving at night - was somehow a god. As you can tell from watching this video, things tend to get very weird when someone gets into cultish thinking, but that's nothing compared to what it's like for those of us who aren't in it. I mean, I knew my wife had lost her mind, I just never had any idea how or why. Now, I'm practically an expert on these subjects, but then? I knew nothing except I wasn't into it.

Anyway, we're divorced now - and my life has finally been disrupted beyond my wildest dreams. In that, they have (all) been successful. They've "changed the vibration of the planet" - so I'm a conservative now, determined to rock their world. I hope they're happy.

Goodness knows, I am.

Slap You They Will,...

"It's not just his perception that the world mistrusts the abilities of the recipient of affirmative action but the fact that he sometimes learns to mistrust the world. Thomas' experience at Yale taught him to doubt anyone who sought to help him, especially those 'who offered you a helping hand so long as you were careful to agree with them but slapped you down if you started acting as if you didn't know your place.'"

-- Dahlia Lithwick, probably the only liberal to actually listen to Clarence Thomas (if only to use him against Sarah Palin) and write about it on Slate.com.

If the photo above confuses most liberals, here's one clear message you can take from it:

The Bushes are better than you.