Saturday, April 2, 2011

I Probably Saved Some Blacks With This Post (And Damn If I Don't Feel Rich For Doing It!!!)

I've got to remember to occasionally shout out to black folks, so they'll know every nigga didn't vote for Obama, and to pay attention to cult shit, too.

Something like this:

Hey - black folks - every nigga didn't vote for Obama, and goddammit, watch out for cults or that People's Temple shit is gonna get you again! Don't drink the Kool-Aid! As a matter of fact, if I were you, I'd cut Kool-Aid completely out of my motherfuckin' diet, just to be on the safe side. Don't forget:

White folks won't tell you this, because they think it's a joke, until they leading you into some pit of Hell that don't make no motherfuckin' sense.

Like yoga.

Does anybody else remember that story about a black girl who killed The Ramones' manager with a yoga stick? Everybody was like "Aww, why'd she do that? She was so cool!" when all I was thinking was you can't put no black person with no yoga stick! Everybody will fucking die!

White people do yoga to calm down (why y'all always so nervous and jumpy?) But black people? Well, we won't even go into what black people are.

Anyway, another black girl done killed a yogi, but they ain't said if a yoga stick is involved yet:
On the night of Friday, March 11, Jayna Murray and Brittany Norwood both entered a well-trafficked Lululemon Athletica clothing store in the tony suburb of Bethesda, Md., where they both worked. They'd returned there after hours because Norwood had left her wallet.

The following morning, Murray was dead and Norwood was found tied up in the back of the store, which specializes in yoga apparel. Police said both women had been raped. The crime terrified the Bethesda community, which feared that two brutal killers were in their midst. Stores shuttered early; proprietors installed security cameras in their businesses and hired security guards to walk employees to their cars at night.

Then the real-life murder mystery took a surprising twist: On March 18, police charged the second victim, Norwood, who is African American, with the murder of Murray, who was white. It's a story that national media, from Good Morning America to the Daily Beast, quickly jumped on as speculation rose from all corners about the primary facts and motivations in the crime. But there are a few angles that have not yet been discussed.
You can go back and read the rest of the article if you want, but you can probably guess that the shit I want to discuss ain't the same shit they want to discuss, nor am I all broke up about this, because they were yogis, or there's a black girl involved, or any of that kind of shit. I mean, first of all, let's be clear:

A motto of this blog is "The only good Yogi is a dead Yogi" so, unless your ass is Yogi Bear, I'm probably not going to get all misty about your passing.

Not to mention, this particular crime has lots of "extras" for me, because (I don't know if you caught it but) this was at a Lululemon Athletica clothing store! And what is Lululemon Athletica? It's part of The Landmark Forum cult! Yea! So this is like a fourfer! We got rid of two yogis and two cultists and didn't nobody have to do shit but leave them to their own yoga cult devices.

Man, some days, you just can't ask for anything more,...

1 comment:

  1. I read that whole article, mostly because I wanted to find out how the killer tied herself up (that's some trick) in the back of the store! I had to follow the link to the Slate article to discover that she did such a poor job of it as to raise suspicions.
    The whole thing is so wrong-headed and incendiary as to cause me to doubt the seriousness of the author. Certainly, it was written to promote ideas very foreign to my regular understanding, especially this part,
    "But there are a handful of high-profile cases that haunt any woman who wants to come forward and accuse her attacker. (The Tawana Brawley and Duke lacrosse cases come to mind.)"
    How can it be that 2 liars haunt any woman?
    I'm still dizzy from reading that fatuousness.