"White Women Suck Your Dick Real Fast!" - R. Pryor

I want to go back to being racist, but The Daily Mail's got some of the funniest feminist shit I've read in a while - a 51 year old woman, looking for her third marriage, is describing the dating scene. You know how it is:

  While we're flattered by a younger man's attentions, most of us want someone around our own age, who is single, sexy and solvent, and wants to be in it for the long term.

The long term. I repeat - she's working on her third marriage.

  I don't do fat men,... It's one thing growing old and podgy with your husband of 25 years, but unthinkable that romance could begin at 51 with a Pavarotti double.

Third - Three - 3rd marriage. How do you get a "husband of 25 years" out of that? She turned to dating services:

  I just want someone at home in his own skin who has a job he enjoys - for all I care he could be a carpenter, I lied.

O.K., now we're getting somewhere - three marriages and a liar. This is where I started laughing:

  Dating Lady put down her pen and said: 'You're not giving me much to go by here to match you up. Tell me what your dream man would be.'

So I said he'd be a successful business-man in his mid-50s, divorced two years ago. He and his wife had drifted apart after the children grew up.

He was about to tell her he wanted a divorce when she told him she'd fallen madly in love with a millionaire and didn't want a penny of his money. They parted as friends and he kept the house and his pension.

Wow - you're on your third marriage, you're a liar, and at 51 you still live in a fantasy world - what a catch! Then reality sets in - and she discovers what she probably did to her two previous "husbands":

  My date started off as the charming man I'd met at the dinner party. Three drinks later he'd turned into a ranting lunatic.

He was divorced, but only just, and his wife had fleeced him for everything. Penniless? Very unattractive.

It got worse. He said he wanted to stab his wife. She blamed him for one son being cautioned for assault and narrowly avoiding jail, and for their younger son being on drugs. The sons also wanted to stab their mother.

I used to get called crazy on this blog, looong before this racist shit, for bombing on women's delusional thinking, fake tits, and skinny bodies (I hated women, then, see?) Guess what? Women don't want the fake tits and skinny bodies no more:

  The porn body backlash: Surgically enhanced breasts and ultra thin body is women's least desired shape

I figure, like with this race thing, it'll probably take most of y'all years to catch up with how delusional it still is out there,...