A 100% All-True Story From My 100% All-Amazing Life

I remembered this, while eating breakfast, and thought I'd "share" - tell me if you want to hear more:

I had an acquaintance, who I used to join with friends for beers after work. He was married to a woman who would make bizarre "healing" concoctions, in mayonnaise jars, that she would give to her friends. He had a good job in construction and they lived in a place I marveled at every time I was invited over.

One day, his wife went to a "psychic" who informed her it was time to move. They needed to travel north, you see, because that's where the stars (I assume) said the grass was greener.

Our circle of friends sadly helped them move, but the wife was adamant this was necessary and the right thing to do. We didn't hear from them again for months.

At Christmas we all went north to visit our friends and see their new digs, which were abysmal, compounded by the problem of their new location being union, so the husband couldn't find work. They were broke. We bought them groceries that year - including milk for the new baby.

The wife spoke to the "psychic" again, but this time was told to go to Las Vegas, as her crystal ball (I assume) said the prospects were much better there. So the couple dutifully moved to Nevada, but the problem was the same:

All the work was union, so the husband couldn't find employment, and their situation deteriorated further.

He started to drink. She got a job as a waitress in a casino. There she met, and fell in love with, a black dishwasher who just got out of prison for armed robbery. She left her husband and got pregnant with the ex-con, who proceeded to beat her for starting arguments over the outlandish claims she regularly made.

The husband became a tragic bum, alone and isolated in Sin City. The wife escaped the dishwasher and, with her kids, ended up living with her mother. Years later, when she finally returned with her children to pay us a visit, the first thing the daughter of the dishwasher did was look up at me and ask, "Are you my daddy?"

Just a reminder, Sasquatch: 

Jesus Loves You,…