2024 Is The Height Of Human Existence (But The Lowest For Animals Overall)

 

 BRILLIANT: 

 "What's your name?" "Oprah."

HUMANS DON'T COUNT ONCE THEY'RE IN A CULT: 

Uganda's "Jesus" Chases Census Enumerators, Says His Sect Prohibits Humans Being Counted

COULD THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED? 

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' £315,000-a-year divorce after Scientologists 'moved into home' 

    

 THIS TURNS GHOST PEPPERS INTO MAYO: 

Indiana judge rules that tacos and burritos are sandwiches

NOT JUST KNEE DEEP - HE WAS TOTALLY DEEP - WHEN HE DID THE FREAK WITH ME: 

Michael Cohen says he used to be ‘knee deep in cult’ of Trump

JUST LIKE STARTING OVER: 

Trump's "God Bless the USA" Bible deletes women's voting rights and slavery amendments 

   

 WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING TEMPLE - WE DON'T NEED NO THOUGHT CONTROL: 

Hindu group, aiming to build temple, alleges discrimination by Henderson

BUT DID HE GET A TEXT BACK? 

Chad Daybell trial: Jurors hear jail phone call with Lori Vallow revealing texting her dead brother

CHRISY TEIGAN IS TEACHING NOW? 

University of California Professor Tells Student to Kill Herself

SPIRITUALITY BRINGS SO MUCH JOY INTO THE WORLD: 

One killed in Ogun cult clash, mob beats man to death

TMR JUST CALLS CATHOLIC CHURCHES "DAY CARE" NOW: 

Texas priest indicted, faces child sex abuse charges

DAD, ARE YOU REALLY "THE G.O.A.T." IF YOU ABANDONED A WOMAN AFTER YOU GOT HER PREGNANT WITH ONE OF OUR SIBLINGS YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED BEFORE BUT - APPARENTLY - THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS ABOUT? 

Tom Brady on Why He Wouldn’t Do Another Roast: “The Way That It Affected My Kids”

DON'T YOU DARE

Billionaire Gina Rinehart demands National Gallery of Australia remove her portrait 

   

 MEN PUT WOMEN ON TABLES AND MAKE THEM DANCE, RIGHT? 

ANOTHER NYC woman flashes her boobs at Dublin through video portal - as first one claims it was 'revenge' for cruel 9/11 taunts from the Irish crowd

 

CHELSEA KEEPS WONDERING ALOUD WHY THE PUBLIC FINDS HER REPULSIVE: 

Chelsea Handler says she’s ‘sexually attracted’ to De Niro: ‘I would like to be penetrated by him’ 

   

 IT DOESN'T PROTECT AGAINST STUPIDITY: 

Sales of raw cow's milk are surging because health influencers think it'll protect them against bird flu

THIS IS FOR YOU - TMR DOESN'T HAVE ANY SUPPLEMENTS: 

  What’s in Your Supplements? Scientists Uncover Hidden Ingredients and Questionable Claims

YET ANOTHER CHIROPRACTIC TRAGEDY FOLLOWING FOOLS NEVER LEARNING: 

Yet another case of vertebral artery dissection following cervical spine manipulation

YOU CAN TAKE THE CULTIST OUT OF SMALLVILLE BUT,...: 

Superman's hometown of Metropolis at war with librarians who parents say are pushing their religion on kids and stripping out any books about being gay 

    

THE ONLY PERSON LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE MISSED THE RISE OF TAYLOR SWIFT: 

Man who vanished aged 17 is discovered ALIVE in a hole after being held captive for 27 YEARS

National Movie Review

‘God’s Misfits’ appear in bullet-proof vests at first hearing over kidnap and murder charges

Behind a Vegan Chef’s Holistic Empire, an Ugly Reality

Inspired by reality TV, Buddhist monks become matchmakers

"The Tortured Poets Department does begin with a shred of hope that, just maybe, Swift knows what she’s talking about,...But,...unmasks itself quickly as a heady vat of pop nothingness,..." 

   

  Chiropractors charged with sexual assault

Premature Alzheimer’s diagnosis using pseudoscience is dangerous

Family that only walk on all fours leave scientists baffled as they 'shouldn't exist'

Caitlin Clark salary criticism a ‘false narrative,’ says WNBA commissioner Cathy Engelbert

Man who was raised in a polygamist cult to SIBLING parents lays bare the horrifying truth about INCEST inside the religious sect - revealing he was made to do BLOOD TESTS as a child to figure out which of his relatives he could safely marry

Two Former High-Profile Trump Critics Now Admit It: His Foes Are the Real Threat to Democracy

Sigh,...

Bold Opinions (On Madness)

BUSTED - AGAIN: Hunter Biden received $250K wires in Joe Biden's home

NOT SO SECRET: Mayor Adams named ‘Master Mason’ in secret Freemason ceremony

THE FIX IS IN: Chess Champ to Piers Morgan: Your Fixation on Anal Beads Is ‘Concerning’

BEGGING: Colin Kaepernick writes to Jets asking to join team

YOU'D BE ARRESTED FOR THIS: Cher hired four men to kidnap troubled son

SO SOPHISTICATED: France moves homeless people out of Paris

NO MORE STRUDEL: Germany: Study shows former East and West growing apart

THEY GOT THE POINT: 90-year-old acupuncturist charged with sexually assaulting patient

DON'T TELL FUNKADELIC: Canada's Speaker Anthony Rota resigns after Nazi in parliament 

   

 YOGA MONSTERS: “How do you convince someone to actually become normal,...?"

UH-HUH, SURE: Prankster says he didn't know he scared man who ended up shooting him

You Just Discovered Boko Haram? You Are So Naive,….

Cult crimes are too often ignored, or excused, and are just so common to me now - and usually so much more horrible - kidnapped African girls can barely register emotionally:

The rest of you should've cared sooner, I guess - I'm burnt out,...

Slavery Was About Millions Of People & They're PISSED

It's hilarious, that a lot of white people wouldn't go to see 12 Years a Slave because it was too brutal, when most film lovers were rooting for something much more extreme:

   “12 Years a Slave,” the story of a free Black man kidnapped by slave traders, has won an Oscar for Best Picture of the Year and a slew of other awards – including Best Writing for a screenplay adapted from another source, in this case the autobiography of Solomon Northup.

But in one important respect, the movie comes up short. Missing from the film is the slave rebellion and revolt that Solomon Northup portrayed so vividly in his book.

My girl, Eileen Jones, is simply torn up about it:

  The first is the opening scene, when Django, a member of a chain gang of manacled slaves shuffling through the harsh cold terrain of Texas in winter, is liberated by Dr. Schultz, who shoots the slavers. Dr. Schultz then counsels the other slaves about how to negotiate their own way to freedom, and Christoph Waltz’s singsong voice is light and frolicsome throughout. Django never speaks to them, seems too shocked by rapid developments. This seems like the film’s starting point on slavery: there is no cooperation among slaves, there’s hardly even sympathy or communication amongst slaves, and therefore, no possibility of united action. We know that’s not true as a rule, historically. But as a genre film set-up it might work well if, for instance, you intended to rectify that terrible state of affairs with gradually increasing sympathy, communication, and cooperation, all leading up to a goddamn SLAVE REVOLT.

So there you have it - if you can't handle 12 Years - prepare yourselves, white folks:

The drums are now beating for the real thing,…

 

I Know It Is Rude (But I Don't Hear White Conservatives Who Say Racism Is Over And I Should Listen To Them)

They just never seem to know what they're talking about:

"The head of the white supremacist Aryan Brotherhood of Texas has pleaded guilty to a racketeering conspiracy that included murder, kidnapping and drug trafficking."

From the nation's founding, until now, it's a racial horror show,...

This Post Has A Black Theme (But The Letters Are White & There's Many More Of Them, So They Win Everything)

"White women rarely sought to help their enslaved women enduring sexual abuse.

Northern black people were everyday victims of white racism and discrimination, and in the free states of the North, black people were typically the ‘last hired and first fired’. Notably, in his autobiography Northup himself describes the everyday “obstacle of color” in his life prior to his kidnapping and subsequent enslavement."

"In Little Rock, Ark., on Monday, a federal judge is considering a deal that would end one of the longest running and most notorious school desegregation cases in the country. The state, its largest school districts and lawyers representing black students have agreed to settle a complex lawsuit over unequal education."

"In this sense, he is almost allegorical, serving as every captured slave waging a battle against an oppressor far stronger than himself."

"A Band Called Death"

This Hit Me Like The Fart Scene In "Blazing Saddles"

"In all of these dramas, the black people's stories are simple, almost banal. As the kidnapping victim in 12 Years a Slave says, 'I don't want to survive. I want to live.' He simply endures, with all the courage and dignity he can muster. His situation, the heroism of his situation, is easy to understand."

"The slave owner, played by Michael Fassbender, is a far more mysterious, more fascinating type: What kind of man wants to flog nearly to death the mother of the child he adores? What kind of man rests against people as if they were furniture? It is a testament to the power of American denial that Fassbender's portrayal of a slave owner is the finest ever put down on film."