Dim-Rod Awkwardly Practices Clapping After Learning How By Watching Children On Bozo Reruns

Dim-Rod, having tanked his season, tanked his wife, tanked his children, tanked his teammates and fans with his steroid use and lies, has now been found to have been addicted to a whore (other than Minge).

If you ever wanted to know what a special kind of stupid looks like, here it is:

Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez was more than a customer of Kristin Davis' high-priced prostitution ring -- he dated the former Manhattan madam too, according to an explosive report.

In June 2006, Rodriguez allegedly became a regular of one of Davis' agencies soon after meeting her a gym, two former call girls told the New York Daily News.

A-Rod, then-married, had asked Davis "what she was doing" the first time they met, the anonymous sources said.

Davis, who has claimed Eliot Spitzer as a client, was about to go out with a boyfriend. She gave Rodriguez a card that he later used to book a two-hour "date" with a prostitute, The News reported.

But Rodriguez really pined for Davis and would court her with flowers and jewelery, the sources said. On one email he wrote that he was "addicted" to her, they said.

Eventually, Davis relented and the two briefly dated -- free of charge, according to the sources…

DANIEL MACHT, NBC

When pressed further about his steroid use, Dim-Rod claimed he got the idea from Minge:

“Minge injects steroids into her labia, and she can pick me up like a quarter, so I thought…”

Dim-Rod then wandered off to his habit of walking the streets asking random women “Are you my mommy?”