Wuss # 1: Where’s My Mommy? Are You My Mommy?

Note to NFL linebackers: Gisele Bundchen gives some insight into the psyche of the starting quarterback of the New England Patriots that you may find useful as you try to take his head off next year.

In the cover story of Harper Bazaar's April issue, Bundchen says Tom Brady, her new husband, is "very naive, almost like a child."

So maybe keep a few lollipops under your shoulderpads. FOX News

Those are the words every man dreams of hearing. There goes the sexual tension, right out the window.

It’s really, really hard to imagine Baby Tom ever being able to raise a boner for her again knowing that’s what she thinks of him.

And for her to announce this in public, in a sort of backhand slap, is just plain mean (disguised as innocent).

Maybe she’s a closet pedophile.