Two Morons Tied For "Moron Of The Week"

Gems from the pus-filled pimple brains at the forefront of the culture – sometimes they just gotta spew to relieve the pressure:

Dita Von Teese. Stripper, "sex worker," idiot:

“It is a strange time. I just met the First Lady and the President of France and they wished they could come to my show but can’t while they have this job.

It’s such a shame, there was once a different time when stripping and burlesque wasn’t considered scandalous."

Apparently Dita must not know who the First Lady of France is. Too bad, as Dita might have gotten some serious advanced skank lessons for free.

And her longing for a different time is perplexing. Morality, modesty and responsibility have only deteriorated over time. It’s not even scandalous to bang your neighbor’s dog on the front lawn at high noon anymore.

Dita, the projector in your head is running backwards, so our advice is to invest in plastics, be one of the first shareholders of IBM, and watch out for World War II.

Always a strong contender, Paris Hilton, after spending 23 days in jail, claimed she would change her party ways and release a book she wrote in the slammer.

As it turns out, the book was super eco-friendly, as it used no ink whatsoever, which makes the paper easier to recycle. And since then she’s been photographed sucking face with just about anyone who has a face.

None of that stopped her from saying this:

"I’ve grown up a lot, I’ve been thru a lot this past year and really grown-up and become an adult," Paris added. "I was living like a teenager and living carelessly for a long time but I’ve realized I’m now running a huge corporation and empire."

Relax, Paris. Take a break from the empire and chill out, go on vacation, take a cruise and fall overboard. You’ve slept with everyone you could, now sleep with the fishes.

And a special thanks to all who continue to make the most monumentally stupid people on earth into celebrities.