Thursday, July 16, 2009

NewAge, Michael Jackson, And Murder (Figures)

"Hell hath no fury like a New Age physician scorned.

That's what Sedona healer Reinalda de Souza wants the world to glean from the untimely demise of Michael Jackson. She especially wants the famous and wealthy individuals who beat a path to her door seeking a cure for their mental, spiritual, and physical ailments to get the message.

'I am not a woman to be trifled with,' says the short, charismatic woman, slapping the wooden table in the kitchen of her rambling, cliff-side dwelling for emphasis. 'I haven't traveled thousands of miles and studied on four continents just give my expertise away for free.'

She stops for a moment, her long hair thrown back, her face ablaze in the evening sunlight that's bouncing off the famous red rocks nearby, filling the room with a Martian glow.

'The rich in America,' she scoffs in an odd, foreign accent difficult to place until you know more about her. 'They want everything for free. They'd better learn. The arts I employ to heal them can be used as readily to destroy.'

Suddenly, her face softens and she studies her visitor intently.

'Would you care for some hot tea, dear?'”

-- Joseph Rossi, adding another name - Reinalda de Souza - to the ever-growing list of charlatans (and/or potential NewAge murderers) who surrounded Michael Jackson, in the Phoenix, Arizona New Times.

The article continues:

"De Souza is an expert in all sorts of alternative medicine", who met Jackson while attending "an international seminar on the benefits of reiki healing" and "using her expertise in lithotherapy, the use of stones, crystals, and minerals for their healing properties. Jackson bathed in tubs filled with agate, garnet, and aventurine. He drank potent mixtures of distilled water mixed with emerald dust, and pasteurized goat milk chilled with round stones of lapis lazuli. He grew stronger under De Souza's care, until the doctor asked for the unusual payment Jackson had promised her — the skeleton of Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man, which Jackson reportedly owned.

'If he'd kept his word to me, he would be alive today,' snorted De Souza, sipping her tea. 'The cretin thought he could backstab me after I'd devoted so much energy to curing him.

'They think someone pumped him full of Demerol,' she spat, her rage building. 'It was a curse I learned long ago in São Paulo [Brazil] that stopped his heart. As soon as your story hits the street, the whole world will know that I — Dr. Reinalda de Souza — killed Jacko!'"

Good stuff. (And doesn't she project the "nice" image NewAgers are always trying to paint of themselves to the public?) Now that she's confessed, I wish the police would do us all a favor and lock that crazy bitch up - throwing away the key.

Oh, and by the way, this evil kook lives in the NewAge "powerspot" of Sedona, Arizona, which cultists think is on a major crossing of "Ley Lines" (don't ask) they look like this:

And, yes, that's also what a diagram of a NewAger's thought process looks like. Now, who's crazy? Me or them? (Answer that fucking question wrong and I'll punch you in the nose,...) The story of this witch woman in Arizona goes:

"She arrived in the late '80s, shortly after excitement was generated in the red-rock town by celebrations of the Harmonic Convergence, a unique planetary alignment welcomed by adherents of New Age beliefs worldwide. Sedona was already a holy city, of sorts, for New Agers and for celebrities. But De Souza felt she was already far ahead of the local 'healers,' who were just picking up on many of the practices she had already mastered, such as channeling, interpreting auras, and the one she was most drawn to, the use of crystals and other stones to heal. She perceived the New Age practitioners of Sedona as hippie versions of country bumpkins.

'Let me give you an example,' she confides. 'I bought this place for a fraction of what it was worth. On my first tour of the property, I sensed a vortex behind the house next to a cement bird pond. The sellers, who claimed to be devotees of harmonic convergence, knew nothing of it. It just shows you how naive people are here. If they'd had any inkling of it, I'd never have been able to afford it. Stupid hippies!'"

Wasn't I just talking about the Harmonic Convergence recently? (Find the tag over on the right of the blog) Whatever. Biff! Bam! Pow! She called the NewAgers of Sedona "hippie versions of country bumpkins"!!! Man, I love that kind of stuff. Nothing gets to them like the rare occurrence of being dissed by their own kind! She better watch her back: Somebody's going to be putting some crazy spells on her now!!!

Read her story - it's really wild and crazy shit that she makes up as she goes along - and, while you do so, consider the fact this crazy loon is being kow-towed to by America's major celebrities. (Including Ronald Reagan, she says.) If you're sane, it should all change your perspective on everything.

Stupid hippies!

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