If Jesus Is Coming You'd Better Get A Big Towel

So what have we got on the religion and "spirituality" front? We find that news more satisfying than the political stuff because, let's face it, if you catch a politician screwing up (or discover somebody's been lying on one - repeatedly) that's all you've got.

But with religion - oh baby - you've always got something more:

Children in Britain are being taught brutal Sharia law punishments, including how to hack off a criminal’s hand or foot.

So-called ‘weekend schools’ for Muslim pupils as young as six also teach that the penalty for gay sex is execution and that ‘Zionists’ are plotting to take over the world for the Jews. 

One set textbook challenges youngsters to list the ‘reprehensible’ qualities of Jews.

Another for six-year-olds asks them to answer what happens to someone who dies who is not a believer in Islam. The answer being looked for is ‘hellfire’.

See what we mean?

It's not just that these monsters are teaching little kids this stuff - it's that "God" is telling 'em to teach little kids this stuff!

That's the story that makes life worthwhile for an atheist!

There's that, and then there's the thrill of watching as some other believers run forward to announce, "No! No! No! They're not listening to the real God!" or they'll throw some whole new spin on things to make their particular belief look more normal and natural than the others:

The Pope has broken with years of Roman Catholic teaching by saying the use of condoms can be justified ‘in certain cases’.

Benedict XVI appeared to signal that the contraceptive could be an acceptable means to stop the spread of AIDS.

But he made clear the comments were not intended to weaken the Church’s fundamental opposition to artificial birth control, a source of grievance to many practising Catholics.

No, no, nothing must ever weaken the church, because that would be a ca-tas-tro-phe. Think about it:

They'd have to give all that money back, and the gold fixtures and great works of art. Why, there might not even be a recession any more if we did that, and then the whole point of going to church - to pray that our lives would get better - would be foolish, huh?

Speaking of foolish, we can't conduct a sane, reasonable conversation about religion and "spirituality" without discussing at least one of the many myriad beliefs in the ephemeral smorgasbord known as NewAge, can we?

For instance, Martin Robbins made a remarkable discovery recently that pretty much sums up the whole religion and "spirituality" gambit:

You'll be shocked - shocked I tell you - to hear that I've noticed a bit of an inconsistency in homeopathic thinking. Well actually there are many, but one that's particularly worth mentioning is the disagreement over what exactly constitutes a dangerous overdose, because even if you believe in homeopathy, this should trouble you. In fact, it should trouble you especially if you believe in homeopathy.

Regular readers will recall that I was part of January's mass homeopathy overdose. Before I took part I realized that one of the criticisms we were likely to face would be "you're not doing it right!", so I spent some time investigating the issue. Unfortunately, my attempts to find out from homeopaths how you would actually overdose on their products resulted in a bewildering array of mutually exclusive answers.

It was almost as if there was no coherent theory of how the stuff worked, and the different homeopaths were each just making things up on the spot.

Imagine that. Now we can hear you smarty-pants-types already:

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But TMR, homeopathy is "alternative" medicine - it's not a part of religion and "spirituality" - it's sold in Whole Foods, and promoted on Oprah, not a church!

Well, yes, that's totally true, but you forget that homeopaths try not to mention their watered-down concoctions should be hit against a Bible to be properly activated, preferring instead to put more emphasis on "succussion" or the shaking of the preparation.

Just another example of how God helps those who help themselves:



And, from an atheist perspective, that's truly a beautiful thing.