Once The Chase Was A Search: Tony Was Dead Already

Imagine you're a god. 

A lot of people do these days.

Self-styled "spiritual" people. 

Unable to shake a fetish for Jesus, they're the human version, not asking "WWJD?" but - in the NewAge - assuming they're already doing what Jesus does.

As a god, they see their every move - their own actions - as inherently good and creative. They think they're clever. Or you do. You're a god.

So you create this guy to fuck with. To make a spectacle of. A guy who doesn't get it, right?

Religious guy in hospital: "There was a time when humans and dinosaurs coexisted peacefully in the world" 

Tony: "What, like in The Flintstones?"

You give him every opportunity for "positive" change - you put him in therapy with a feminist, and even have a fucking Buddhist monk slap him and scream, "Lose your arrogance!" (The Buddhist doesn't have to lose his - expressed in violence - even though your "anti-hero" is, literally, twice everybody else's size) and all the big lug does is stand there, looking stupid, wondering how to avoid getting caught once he crushes you and anything else you put in his way.

 

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 The rest of your creations rejoiced - when it comes to creating shit, they'd never seen a more real creation in their lives.

 But you look at the rest of your creations with disgust and shake your head, tsk, tsk, tsking, and most of them shake their heads, too.

They were mistaken.

   

 They weren't supposed to like this "man". Look at what you made him do. He was awful, because his dad was awful, and his dad was awful, too, because,...they were stupid and trying to survive, and maybe be somebody, but they definitely weren't trying to be gods.

Women, and little manipulative men in robes, showed us the way.

But, as I said, not everybody buys it.

See, you're a pretty flawed god yourself - and that's always been on show, too.

Your "Everyman" knew it - and every other man does, too.

The only true revelations here - which you show, yourself, by torturing your creation and his friends for public consumption - are: 

A) you let him live at all (you had his own mother try and kill him) and 

B) your "solutions" don't work.

Tony to Dr. Melfi: "The truth is this therapy is a jerk off. You know it, and I know it."

The truth is Jesus was a poor role model who wouldn't have lasted a day in this world.

Jesus lived to 33 - Tony lived to 47.

And, as a god, you apparently let J.C. die at a mob's hands, too.

There's something about how that phenomenon keeps popping up in "spiritual" circles.

Meanwhile, Tony's the bad guy, ostensibly for seeing through it.

To those of us who didn't buy that conceit (or that you're a god, or is anyone who thinks like you) and death is little shock - but the natural order of things - we applaud you.

You were able to shock yourself (and the sheltered rubes) while providing the rest of us with quality entertainment.

But watching a grown man - you - metaphorically crawling on his belly for six seasons, under the guise of teaching us a NewAge lesson, about masculinity missing The Big Picture?

Please. 

   

 All the people who escaped you unscathed were killers - the biggest being Paulie Walnuts. I repeat: 

 Paulie Walnuts.

   

 All the women - the NewAge sister, Catholic wife, environmentalist/lawyer daughter, etc. - and those who took after them paid a price for what they thought, including Dr. Melfi.

Tony was "just a man".

YOU were supposed to be a god.

You know as well as I do, your whole thesis fell apart with one question, and you wrote it:

"Every day is a gift. It's just, does it have to be a pair of socks?"

The answer is "yes" - until the gods come to their senses,...