I Coulda Made A Joke About An "English Muffin" But No

Another day in the NewAge, another bit of adultery advice, framed as though only men cheat:

If your partner has committed an act of physical or emotional infidelity, you essentially have two options: stand by your man or kick him to the curb.

It's always "him" at The Huffington Post, baby.

 And then comes the traditional Pagan Celebration Of The Whore:

I was out for a walk, having one of those imaginary fights with my ex -- the kind that takes place in your head when you're giving him hell for that stupid thing he did in 1985. 

With very little persuasion, the ring flew off my finger and landed in a field of cows. Unlike the bovines, who appeared unmoved by this gesture, I felt liberated. It turned out, however, that giving my ring finger breathing room unleashed 20 years of pent-up energy.  

All of a sudden, every man alive or nearly dead became a prospect -- at least to my newly naked finger. At intersections, when a guy pulled up beside me,...my accountant called to say it was tax season, I thought he said sex season,....

Did you catch that? Wow. Since her husband - who she claimed was "the only one" - did something "stupid" back in 1985 (only women can even say "stupid" without anyone taking offense) once she became a statistic, she naturally wanted to fuck "every man alive or nearly dead" with abandon. That makes sense. To a Feminist. But it's stupid, hypocritical, and gross.

And it gets grosser:

I realized throwing away my ring was like putting my house up for sale. Everybody who drove by was a potential purchaser, and it was a lot of work keeping my lawn cut and the bonsai bush trimmed,...

All together now - EWWWWWWW!!!

Too much information! Too much information!

That's the reason I never eat before I blog,...