The single arrives amid a mudslide of hype that has been oozing down Gaga Mountain for months. This was supposed to be a massive statement; an anthem for a lost generation; the first broadside from an album meant to establish the pop star as a significant songwriter. Instead, it’s a typical up-with-people anthem attached to a melody and chord progression as familiar as an old bathrobe. Ke$ha ("We R Who We R") and Katy Perry ("Firework") recently covered the same thematic territory. Lady Gaga’s refusal to push herself — let alone the envelope — feels borderline offensive.Told you so. And for the record, we were right about Kanye, too.
(And speaking of offensive, this song includes one of the worst couplets ever shoehorned into a mainstream pop number: "You’re black, white, beige, Chola descent/You’re Lebanese, you’re Orient." You’re Orient? What the heck does that mean? Gosh, I thought the rap in "Vogue" was dumb.)
Congrats on wasting your time and money, suckers.