Monday, March 11, 2013

Crazytalk


Somebody at Slate thought this was a misleadingly eye-catching link for an economics story: 

 Austerity Is Ruining Everything That Makes Europe Better Than America 

It caught my eye because, unlike the folks at Slate, I can't think of much "that makes Europe better than America" and, having lived there, I'm still looking. 

I wonder why Slate would lie like that? Have they never seen Adult Swim? There's no Adult Swim in Europe. I know French music lovers who are just discovering The Wu-Tang Clan - in what way is being culturally 20 years behind somehow "better"? 

The lame parameters of Europe's established circle jerk, where any American who doesn't look like a relative of Tom Brokaw is deemed "authentic" - permitting everyone in agreement, internationally, to openly marginalize our country for almost anything - is bullshit. It's especially galling when Americans, like the folks at Slate, engage in it. "Better than America"? How?

 
If you ask me, Europeans generally don't know their heads from their asses and, if they did, they wouldn't have spent so much of history standing on each other's throats. (America's less than 300 years old and we're already over most of that shit, the slopes,...) To speak of "Everything That Makes Europe Better Than America" is to speak, mainly, of sloth. We don't have enough of it. If an American has what used to be referred to as "get up and go", Europe will declare them to have ADHD instead, prescribing a homeopathic preparation and lots of de-stressing "rest" (and wine) so such evil ideas will never invade their, oh, so rationally self-enforced, pursuit of eternal leisure ever again. Hell, by merely typing this blog I'm already engaged in a more active endeavor than the average Frenchman, so what the fuck? 

Why must I read this shit, much less, have to consider Americans writing it? Don't these people have editors? Has anyone at Slate actually been to Europe? Come on. 

 Oh - wait - I get it,...

3 comments:

  1. Just discovering The Wu-Tang Clan? Really?

    PW

    Personally I'm kinda glad my ancestors made the trip to America. The Old World just doesn't have that much appeal for me outside of the original curiosity of seeing something different (having seen various parts of it from a non-tourist-y pov). Different ain't always better -- another thing life and experience has taught me.
    Maybe that's the problem: Americans have been catching the lady at the hairdresser disease (every lady wants what she doesn't have, regardless).

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  2. Honest Injun.

    Now they're giving themselves names with "Gambino" in 'em and shit. When I was last there mainstream radio was still the bastion of Toto's "Hold The Line" so that should give you some idea of the landscape. 20 years behind us was my best, conservative, estimate for what I saw.

    But then, I was high, which probably only made it all appear further away,...

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  3. Gambino?
    HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA!

    Ok, that really is some seriously messed up shit...along with being waaay out of date. That's worse than Minot, ND right there (and radio stations in the intermountain west are not exactly known for the up-to-datedness.

    Of course this from the same continent that had soldiers doing a drill where "Black American criminals" (lovely, huh? no racism from those fuckers there) bust out of a van and attack them...dudes, seriously? no fool jumps out of the suicide doors into machine gun fire, and every American of any color persuasion knows this if they know anything at all.
    Although this does make me relieved insofar if we ever have a military conflict with any of them again (except the Brits...because Aussies, Canucks, and Gurkhas...who have a notion that no fool jumps out of the suicide doors themselves).

    PW

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