Phony Hallmark Cards Are Better Than Real Love Notes

"Everything about [women] is a lie and you expect me to tell the truth? 

Fuck you!" 

- Chris Rock

Also, Hunter S. Thompson had two rules, relevant to feminist suggestions for Mother's Day:

"Beware of enthusiasm and of love, both are temporary and quick to sway." 

"Never do anything the person standing in front of you can’t understand."

In other words, never trust what she says - or let her know you can think.

Live a lie and force everyone else to - just like women do - but insist everyone call it "truth," no matter how outlandish it is, whether it has any support from reality, or anyone dies.

Then, give her a hug.

And - please - be thankful that "sugar and spice" you're protecting yourself from

  didn't already kill you,...