Swindled: Alert Us Whenever The Protests Begin

Let's play a game called, "How Can You Spot A NewAge Idiot?" - here's a hint:

They were last year's hottest celebrity accessory.

Power Balance wristbands, which promised to improve the wearer's balance, strength and flexibility, were the adornment no A-lister would be seen without, and were spotted on everyone from David Beckham to Kate Middleton.

Now the company behind the £29.99 bracelet has admitted that there is no scientific evidence behind the claims, and that they are no more beneficial than an ordinary rubber band.

Power Balance was forced to make the admission by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC).

It is now offering refunds to customers in Australia who believe they were misled, and will be changing its website, packaging and advertising to reflect the new, more accurate, message.

It must also remove the words 'performance technology' from the band itself.

ACCC chairman Graeme Samuel explained: 'Suppliers of these types of products must ensure that they are not claiming supposed benefits when there is no supportive scientific evidence.

But you won't hear of any high-profile celebrity either demanding their money back or warning the public against these things - not one. Because the average person misses the point entirely.

Whether it's what they say, or what they're wearing, symbolism is everything to NewAgers - because they can deceive the ignorant using symbolism. See, the part most people don't understand is these cultists are not just trying to "improve the wearer's balance, strength and flexibility" but signaling to each other, whether in person or on television, who's in The Idiot Club - or have you seen Robert DeNiro geeking out as an athlete lately?

Power Balance wristbands won the approval of celebrities including Leonardo DiCaprio, P Diddy, Robert De Niro, Kate Middleton, David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo.

That should tell you it's entirely the I'll tell you how to live/vote/think, you should do yoga, hate Sarah Palin crowd, right? All walking around with something that says they're incapable of intelligent thought. Ahh, NewAge cultural subversion and deception, it's so much fun:

The brainchild of Californian entrepreneur Josh Rodarmel, 28, who developed the bands with his brother, Troy, three years ago, they claimed that a special hologram, set in the silicone band, enhances the body's natural energy.

In an interview last year, he explained: 'Everything in nature has a set frequency. The body has a frequency and things which cause negativity to the human body - like mobile phones and radio waves - break down its natural healing frequency.

'My brother and I worked out a way of putting good frequencies into our holograms so they balance out the body, making it stronger and more flexible.

'It works in different ways for different people. Athletes say they can last longer on the field, that they have better balance and that their muscles recover quicker.

Leading others into fraud - and making millionaires of con men - basically feeding a criminal enterprise, because they're cultish suckers for NewAge code words, like "balance".

But don't underestimate the band's worth as a signaling device - it works. NewAgers world-wide immediately knew they weren't alone, and who was who, wordlessly, as the ignorant saw nothing:

High-profile endorsements sent sales soaring and an estimated 2.5million Power Balance bands have now been sold worldwide.

Let's say you're a loon, sitting at home believing in "energy" or some other malarky - giving the people around you a hard time about "antioxidents", recycling, being a Leftist, taking homeopathic preparations, or "saving the planet" - it can give you quite a boost, and encourage you to keep being a pain in the ass (not to mention encouraging you to keep funneling money into the NewAge through indoctrination "seminars", etc.) if you saw a high-profile cult celebrity is in The Dummy Club with you:

Dr Victor Thompson, a sports psychologist based in London, said: 'I'm not aware of any research that supports the technology behind these bands.'

But he added that the band probably enjoyed success thanks to a placebo effect - that a belief that the band was working alone could help improve performance.

Or change the world - politically and (most importantly) "spiritually" - without anyone else guessing what you're up to,....shit, if you're wearing the band and meet a celebrity with one, they'll probably even lay you!