Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Downward Dog: Mark Morford Gets Low - Again

It's hard not to laugh but, like Andrew Sullivan, the crazy ass funnel that is The San Francisco Chronicle's Mark Morford, is still out there, trying to sound sane and reasonable, but - as always - completely blowing it:
Look! Here are some scientists. Are they not cute? Are they not totally adorable like angry pfffting kittens as they scoff and furrow their brows and make many dismissive sounds with their pursed mouths, all in the general direction of the very idea of ESP, or psychic ability, or pretty much anything related to the mystical and the weird, the unquantifiable and the supernatural? Man, they really hate that.

Here they are, in the New York Times just recently, all aflutter that an esteemed fellow scientist and scientific journal -- Daryl J. Bem and The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, respectively -- wuld dare to publish a paper on the more than likely possibility that the beloved New Age chestnut known as extrasensory perception (ESP) might, just might, actually exist, in some tiny way, maybe, if we all just quite whining about it and opened up to the idea a little. The horror! The humiliation! What will happen to our funding?
If Morford had funding (his salary was cut, remember?) it would go straight up his yoga-teaching Mangina, is where.

Seriously, not only can't it be good for any scientific paper to have this balloon head for a supporter (He actually goes on to "defend" dowsing,...) but it's not lost on us that we've never seen Morford come out for any other kind of science but the crazy, mystical, quack-filled, never-has-a-chance-in-a-million-years-because-they-falsified-their-data kind. For instance, what's Morford been doing and saying during the entire Andrew Wakefield/Jenny McCarthy/Jim Carrey/Oprah Winfrey-promoted anti-vaccine fraud? Nothing and nothing - except teaching yoga and claiming things were swell - that's what. Imagine:

Children were dying - literally dying - and Mr. Compassion kept as quiet as a mouse.

But, let ESP get some (negative) attention from scientists, and then it's into the breach he flies - with a two-pager! (Watch your back, guys, he'll also try to fly into your britches,...)

Look, we could could go in forever (and we mean forever) about all the reasons why this POS is a liar who we don't like, and also don't think should be allowed to write for any publication, anywhere - not even for the crazy San Francisco paper he "works" for now. But we think (gay put-downs and everything else aside) the absolute very best reason we have for disliking Mark Morford, his work, and his "beliefs", is the one he's, thankfully, put in several articles - including the one we're criticizing him for now - and that very best of all reasons to dislike this particular person is one stated by Morford very clearly - more clearly than probably all the other words he's ever written, combined, and he says it exactly like this - pay attention now:
You certainly do not have to believe me.
No, and we never have, because in all the years Mark Morford's been putting pen to paper - and after all the years of saying silly things like Jesus did yoga - he's never given us a single reason to do otherwise.

So, it is on the basis of those words, Ladies and Gentlemen - words that form his own statement about his column's and his own personal validity - that we feel confident we are all free to finally leave this particular NewAge nincompoop's permissively pliant punk ass alone to himself, and his analyst's couch (because you know he has one) hopefully for the rest of all time.