I Have No Idea What Hippies Were Rebelling Against (When They Had Drugs For Great Moments Like This)

Try to imagine her as the "girl of the past" in Stevie Wonder's Too High:

Post-modern overdosing, making the stomach squeal, knowing it has to come out.

Hey, Lawrence Welk started it! Consider it payback - I never got a warning on where that "modern spiritual" was going or coming from - but I do remember the claustrophobia of Lawrence Welk's (and Billy Graham's) era - I was born in 1961 - so it's not that weird for me to see it today as who we are, even though it can be kinda surreal, considering who are are NOW:

                                          Some bad stuff's gotten mixed up with the good.

According to Wikipedia, "despite the emergence of rock and roll, 'Calcutta' reached number 1 on the U.S. pop charts in 1961; it was recorded in only one take. The tune knocked the Shirelles' 'Will You Love Me Tomorrow' out of the #1 position, and it kept the Miracles' 'Shop Around' from becoming the group's first #1 hit, holding their recording at #2."

                    Here comes the groaning, and then the churning, twisting pain from below.

For a number of reasons (One take?) I would've thought they've gotta be high! O.K., maybe not:

Better lay down for a while, fast, before any loss of equilibrium.

Remember screaming, "Mama, there's black people on TV!"? Incredible. 

And no wonder there could ever be a Lawrence/Smoky competition when - if you consider what Welk was selling - The Miracles were practically pushing the same conservative product, just with crazy choreography. 

Too late - running for the toilet - because here it comes!   

Alright, try this riff - and check the Quentin Tarentino impression:

In the first Welk video, at the top, that guy later becomes Stevie Wonder's widowed drug addict, and he's lamenting having married the dead girl he now watches himself singing with in old videos, the bitter result of having naively taken his momma's advice to "shop around".

Pretty good, huh?

Gagging now, tasting it, drinking a little so as not to forget.

Kind of an Amy Winehouse thing, but from the other fruitcake's point of view. Maybe add in a cautionary tale-type message, like if you don't save your money - and you don't die of drugs tomorrow - you won't have enough. Or something.

I don't know. What do you think?

Better wait - the dry heaves haven't ended.

Whatever it is: BAM! That could be a TV show! (I kid.)

Alright, splash the face with water. Wash the mouth. Comb the hair.

Silly mortals. We Americans have come a long way, and - because we're essentially the world's guinea pigs for crawling into the unknown - I've come to the conclusion that we're going to always be waaay ahead of the pack. I know it's dangerous but I've been thinking, and - while being born still isn't the big event that sends chills of joy down my spine - I have to admit, despite my complaints, I'm not bothered by the times I've been living through.

I mean, I got here after garters and before AIDS - lucky,...:

Adjust the tie - wipe the brow again - try to look presentable.

In considering our times, I also have reached the conclusion that we - the Americans - haven't been around long enough to be labeled "evil" yet. Compared to others, we were never a bad people, just a little crazy and impulsive, and to suggest otherwise is a lie. Whoever it is or was saying it, it's a lie:

Walk out, elegantly glide to a back room, and let the head hit the pillow with a "thud".

I, for one, will never be ashamed of who we've been.

It'll be fine later, but for now, just sleep whatever it is off,...

 

It's Time To Talk To Meade Again About Macho!

EMBED-Uganda's First Action Movie Trailer - Watch more free videos

We've been doing some more "research" like you asked:

See, dude, after some close examination, you just don't strike us as a guy who "gets" it. You're more of the Rufus Wainright-loving, poking around in the garden type, rather than the Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel I-can-do-anything kind of man, you know? Now, like being gay (and congratulations on that "don't ask, don't tell" thing) there's nothing wrong with that. There are gardens everywhere and they all need tending to - especially marijuana gardens - but not everyone is cut out for that. Some men are drawn to gardening and some are drawn to applying flying kicks while swinging from a vine and taking out a whole army of evil Ugandans with an AK-47. Do you see?

People are different. Especially men. Smokey Robinson sang "Good looking girls come a dime a dozen" and that's the truth. But a hard man is hard to find, and it's becoming more difficult by the minute. We aim to change that. This blog is dedicated to The Macho Response. And - as the ancestors of macho men, everywhere, have said throughout time:

"That's as much the way it is as the way it's gotta be."

We've got a lot of faith you'll come around, too.

The Dem's Stupid/Mastermind Who Was Also An In-Charge/Controlled Evil Genius/Doofus Known (By All Who Met Him) As "A Really Good Guy"

"I sometimes wonder if The New York Times is secretly in league with the country’s dentists. All the teeth grinding our former paper of record occasions must be good for those in the business of capping and crowning teeth. Consider, to take only the most recent example that comes to hand, the long piece in yesterday’s business section about who or what caused the current economic crisis.

I’ll tell you in a moment who really caused it, but let’s play a game. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to guess whom the Times would nominate as the prime mover and scapegoat-in-chief in the global financial dégringolade we’ve been living through. Ready? You have 10 seconds to come up with the answer. . . .

OK. Time’s up. Those of you who said 'Ronald Reagan' or 'Margaret Thatcher' get honorable mention, but you’re still playing last week’s game. No, it should be obvious to all comers that the only possible answer to any question involving political or economic failure is George W. Bush.

That’s right, folks. It was all George’s fault. Well, if you are Times reader (which is not the same thing as someone who happens to read the Times), you already knew that. Everything is Bush’s fault."

-- Roger Kimball, on the simplicity - and simple-mindedness - of life as a liberal (whose blindly knee-jerk opposition to everything Bush did caused no problems for the country what-so-ever) for Pajamas Media.