Tuesday, March 31, 2009


"We are beginning to see that the media is about to add humiliation to its moral failure, as it grasps that once you worship a Messiah, you cannot leave the cult. Mr. Obama tolerates no dissent among the believers. The recent Obama press conference showed what happens to the shunned New York Times or Washington Post once you even consider climbing over the fence of the compound. What were these sycophants thinking as they watched Obama produce all sorts of bogus figures in assuring that tripling the deficit, then halving it will translate into lessening the present red-ink? Again, imagine a sequel to the Wizard of Oz, where everyone goes on thinking that the floating image on the screen with the smoke really is Oz, despite seeing the tiny man behind the curtain with his hands busy with the levers. The media knows what they’ve become, and already have seen the flip side of their one-eye Jack—and is now trapped in culthood."

-- Victor Davis Hanson, who is stealing our song* and (despite the fact we've done a whole in-depth blog on this subject - for years - and been ignored) is somehow accepted as credible on cultism, to Pajamas Media.

*Now we know how Hank Ballard and the Midnighters felt when Dick Clark got Chubby Checker to copy "The Twist".

Today At 5PM Pacific Time: The Crack Emcee Is On "My Perspective With Constance Cumbey"

We told you about it once before and now we're telling you again:

The Crack Emcee is doing an interview about NewAge cultism on "My Perspective With Constance Cumbey". Find out if TMR's big guy is crazy - or just crazy for doing it - at 5PM Pacific Time. You get big points if you listen in and make an .mp3 we can post.

You can tune in here.

Constance is a Christian and a conspiracy theorist (we are not) but she's still a lawyer, an expert on NewAge beliefs, and a really nice lady, so it ought to be a fun conversation.

UPDATE: So it was a fun conversation! Constance Cumbey is very well versed in NewAge, asked good questions (her callers as well) and has invited The Crack Emcee back for another go in two weeks! Stay tuned,...

"Whole Paycheck" Is Ripping You Off - By Selling You Water To Make You Feel Smart - And They're Doing It All Over The United States!!! Yipee!!!

An actual photo of a "smart" and "progressive" woman being a big ol' dummy.

"Have you ever walked into a Whole Foods Market, Nutrition Depot, or vitamin and supplement store and found homeopathic remedies made by Newton Laboratories? Their well known single remedies, tinctures, salves, etc. are found all over the United States,..."

-- Terry Cochran, a cultist posing as an "examiner" - whatever that is - on the (doh!) Atlanta Natural Health Examiner.

Buddha Mad - Hot Like Fire!!!

"NYC Principal In Hot Water Over 'Buddhist Chants'

(Parents At P.S. 24 In Riverdale Say Philip Sharper Led Chants Against Teachers On Alleged "Hate List")"

-- Josh Landis, sporting the kind of headline that catches our eye, on WCBSTV.

Now We're Talking: Ladies And Gentlemen, TMR Presents To You A Scientology, Huffington Post, Sarah Palin-Inspired Political Cult Clusterfuck!!!

HuffPo's Rachel Weiner has already reported on Greta Van Susteren's defensive response to a Politico story today, which cited an anonymous source saying that one of the reasons that Sarah Palin has been caught up in a "series of public relations gaffes" is because she is "taking advice from Greta and her husband."

In her Fox News blog, Van Susteren vehemently denied offering Palin any advice, and called the authors to task for not checking on this allegation. Let me give Van Susteren her due. This is a serious charge of direct professional misconduct, and there should have been more than a throwaway line from an unnamed source to back it up. The allegation begs further questioning.

But what Van Susteren does acknowledge in her "brief" on the subject is equally troubling:

1. She acknowledges that her husband, John Coale, has been advising Palin, that they are in weekly contact, and that he played a central role in the formation of her national political action committee, SarahPAC--all while she has been covering Palin for Fox News.

2. She acknowledges that her husband met Palin through Van Susteren's media contacts with the governor. In short, he used his wife's journalistic access to Palin to gain his own political access.

There are some serious journalistic conflicts of interest taking place here, and Van Susteren is either being duplicitous or disingenuous to characterize them as "silly."

I've written earlier in HuffPo about the odd dynamic that has developed over the past seven months between the Palins, Van Susteren, and her power broker husband, Coale. Both Coale and Van Susteren are prominent practitioners in the controversial Church of Scientology, and Coale has been a major behind-the-scenes political force in Washington, D.C., for decades.

Since my first story appeared, several people have contacted me with more troubling information on the subject.

Coale's extensive training in Scientology is a matter of public record. He has completed the organization's course OT-VII, Scientology's second most powerful level.

Moreover, Coale has been a major player in national political circles for nearly a quarter century.

-- Geoffrey Dunn, a self-described "award-winning journalist, filmmaker and historian", thinking he's doing an investigative report on the warp-mouthed conservative cultist in politics - as he ignores that he's writing for a weird website owned by the warped-Greek liberal cultist in politics - called The Huffington Post.

Ahh, "The Matrix" of cultism exposed - on the Left and the Right - that really makes our day!!!

It's Now "Spiritual Truth" And A Fact Of Law: If The Impossible Should Happen - You're Free!!!

"Accepting a plea bargain that her attorney described as unprecedented in American jurisprudence, a 22-year-old Maryland woman yesterday agreed to cooperate in the prosecution of other defendants in the death of her son under the condition that charges against her be dropped if the child rises from the dead.

...The boy's mother, Ria Ramkissoon, is shaping up as prosecutors' star witness against a 40-year-old Baltimore woman named Queen Antoinette. Prosecutors allege that Queen Antoinette led a small cult, called One Mind Ministries, based in a West Baltimore rowhouse. In early 2007, prosecutors say, Queen Antoinette instructed Ramkissoon and others to deprive Javon of food and water because he didn't say "amen" before breakfast.

Queen Antoinette has been charged with first-degree murder and child abuse resulting in death, as have three of her alleged followers. Any trial is expected to be at least two months away."

-- Dan Morse, finally getting us to wish a cultist "good luck" - that's the boy's grandmother above - in The Washington Post.

Let's See - Spiritual "Enlightenment", Faith Healing, The Dalai Lama, Dumb Women, Sex - Nope: We're Putting It In But That's Not News!!!

"A cult guru who claimed he had mystical healing powers raped and sexually assaulted young female followers he found attractive, a court heard.

Michael Lyons, 51, wore flowing robes, called himself Mohan Singh, and surrounded himself with a group of girl devotees.
He convinced them he was linked to Buddhist spiritual leader the Dalai Lama and was 'enlightened,' it was alleged. But Lyons raped and sexually assaulted seven of them over a ten-year period, jurors heard.

One woman claimed he had shown her a film before climbing on top of her naked and spouting 'spiritual mumbo-jumbo'.
Another said he wafted a scented frying pan around her and mumbled incoherent words before grabbing her neck and raping her in his flat.

Prosecutor Philip Katz QC told London’s Wood Green Crown Court: 'We say he is a sexual predator masquerading as a guru.'"

-- Mike Sullivan - making us yawn - in The Sun.

Minge, Malawi, Manipulation, Mental Illness,...

"Before Madonna 'adopts' another child from Malawi, maybe someone should ask her where the money went from her big star studded 2008 fundraiser for that country.

We tried: this column has tried to ascertain from The Gucci Foundation and from Madonna’s Kabbalah-backed Raising Malawi where the estimated $3.7 million has gone from the February 6, 2008 extravaganza. So far: No answers.

You may recall that Madonna summoned all her celebrity friends, especially the ones involved with Kabbalah like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, as well those caught up in their own fringe religions like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

The fundraiser had some problems, however. Even though Raising Malawi had been in business for two years, it was still not approved as a sanctioned non profit at the time. Instead, Gucci formed its own Foundation — known as a 501 c3 — to collect the money. They brought UNICEF on board to give the event a feeling of legitimacy. But in the end, the efforts expended were for Raising Malawi, an organization founded by the Kabbalah Center of Los Angeles. Raising Malawi teaches the Kabbalah curriculum, called Spirituality for Kids, to Malawi orphans.

Now, fourteen months after the fundraiser, there’s no accounting for the money that came in."

-- Roger Friedman, who's giving us lots of good information ("In Malawi she dresses conservatively, as if in a movie role, and not at all as she lives in the U.S. or U.K. It’s doubtful that the Malawi HRCC has ever seen her “Sex” book, for example.) but he still doesn't sound like he's got a grasp of how cults - we mean "fringe religions" - "work" yet, but we'll give him time since it's a good piece and he works for Fox News.

"You're Going To Love My Nuts!" - Vince Shlomi

"Gawker has laid hands on the ShamWow guy's 2004 lawsuit against the Church of Scientology, and it's good! He accused the cult of infiltrating his food-chopper business and stealing it from him.

ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi, who was arrested last month because a hooker who allegedly bit him on the tongue and he pummeled the shit out of her, became a Scientologist in 1982. According to his 2004 lawsuit against the cult (read the full lawsuit here), the Scientology was part of a conspiracy to steal his successful food-chopper business from him."

-- John Cook, with a Scientology story that, unlike the others, is cracking us up so much, all we can say is "SHAM-WOW! - check out that hooker! - in Gawker.

Yea, Bozo: She Meditated Sleepy-Time Bye-Bye

"We just really believe that this group had a lot to do with her confusion. She was looking for answers. She was working to achieve her full potential, and she did that didn't she?"

-- Jonnie Snyder, sarcastically speaking of her daughter, Kristin Snyder, who (for $15,000) got mixed up in "NXIVM" (AKA "Vanguard", see below) and - though no body has been found - appears to have killed herself right before the cult is hosting a visit by the so-called Dalai Lama, according to the Albany Student Press.

Blaming The Wrong People, Asking The Wrong Questions, Forgiving All The Wrong Acts: You People Can't Seem To Do Anything RIGHT!!!

"OUCH: Workers say Obama treated autos worse than Wall St.

DETROIT (AP) — Many assembly line autoworkers reacted with skepticism and anger Monday to the Obama administration’s tough tactics, which stoked long-simmering feelings that the people who put the country on wheels get treated differently than the wizards of Wall Street. . . . Many workers — not generally known for their affection toward executives — even sympathized with Rick Wagoner, who was forced to step down as chief executive of General Motors Corp. He was by turns called a 'sacrificial lamb,' 'scapegoat' and 'fall guy.'

And Rick Wagoner was fired not because he did a bad job, but because Obama wanted to look tough. Is that the kind of management that will get us out of this problem?"

-- Glenn Reynolds, still asking the stupid questions - while Ann Althouse is demanding another loser be forgiven for ripping off the public - which, apparently, is how you win today's online popularity contests known as president, blogger, or Instapundit.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Country's In The Very Best Of Hands

Look at it, people - look at it: this is the America you've created. And oh yea, before you start to laugh or feel superior: this blog stays so disgustingly snide because the rest of you are just being a whole lot of help,...

You may now go back to chanting "O-ba-ma!" or whatever other bit o' nonsense you've got in your heads this week. (You do love chanting, don't you? Tell us: Are you all potential Nazis or Hari Krishnas?) Oops, sorry. Was that "mean"? What we really meant to say was "Zeig Hari - Hope and Change! Save the planet - not your brain! March together - be not proud! Don't know shit - and say it loud! GO CULTISTS!!!!"

Whew! American Idol, anyone?

Global Warming Question

Does this count as a carbon offset?

Darwinism Defeated, One Moron At A Time

A 60-year-old man came to the hospital to have the Pepsi bottle removed, after he said he was assaulted by thieves.

Yea, thieves with a lot of extra time and a helluva spontaneous imagination.

X-Ray shows a cell phone in a Salvadoran prisoner's lower intestine.

“Can you hear me now?”

Sometimes modern medicine can be a real heartbreaker. The natural outcome of these events is obvious, the intervention is nature denied.

Score: Morons - 1 Gene Pool - 0

Obama Derangement Syndrome

Obama Derangement Syndrome is a popular term these days for the bizarre and sometimes sexually driven obsession with Obama, regardless of what he has or hasn’t done.

We would like to see this changed to ‘Obama Derangement Disorder’, partly because it’s more descriptive, but mostly because it’s acronym spells ‘ODD’.

“Asshats In Government”

“Because they are undeserving of it”

By Michelle Malkin

Simple question from Glenn Beck today to the crusading Connecticut Attorney General still on his anti-AIG witch hunt:

Under what law are you going after the AIG bonuses?

Blumenthal hemmed and hawed for a painful six minutes before coming up with this:

“Because they are undeserving of it.”

Remember those six chilling words:

“Because they are undeserving of it.”

After blubbering that the law doesn’t require that AIG pay the bonuses, Blumenthal then sputtered that it was bad public policy.

Blumenthal also explained that while he didn’t have the authority to go after corruptocrat Sen. Chris Dodd because he was a federal official, he did feel it right, just, and necessary as state AG to do something more about federal tax money spent on AIG.

Finally, he muttered something about the State Wage Act, tucked his tail between his legs, and slunk off the set — no doubt to go wield his legal powers against other targets (Congress exempted!) that he has deemed “undeserving” of their pay.

Blumenthal gives new meaning to AIG:

Asshats In Government.

This just ain’t good.

Minge Demands Extended Warranty For Human, Talks Delayed

Talks between Malawi officials and Minge are being delayed while the government considers her latest offer for a daughter. The reported sticking points are the warranty and return clause, and the size of the bribes.

Minge reportedly said “I usually don’t bother with a warranty, when I get fed up I just toss them and ridicule them from the stage during my concerts, but now my people tell me this might not be legal with a child.”

When asked how she would spend the four day delay, she mentioned traveling to Fargo, North Dakota, where “I heard they need volunteers to help with tea-bagging, and I like to do my part”. When it was pointed out that they need help with sandbagging, not tea-bagging, Minge shrugged and said “whatever”, retreating to her hotel room.

We Can’t Keep Up: British ‘Apprentice’ Show A Rat’s Nest

Apprentice star Yasmina Siadatan's father has three wives.

You can read about at the Daily Mail.

There has been so much of this type of news dribbling out about the show we have decided to declare it full of rats, douche-baggery, debauchery and everything else that seems to define modern celebrities these days.

So this is a blanket, catch-all post.

Apparently auditions for the show were held at a lock-up facility on discharge day.

Note to Billy Joel: “We Didn’t Start The Fire” But We Keep Pouring Gasoline On It

Context matters, and the San Francisco school district has taken both Jimi Hendrix and the public schools way out of context.

There was a time when teachers would freak at the sound of Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze" or "Stone Free." Now the San Francisco school district wants them to get in the spirit.

"Remember the first time you heard Jimi Hendrix?" reads the cover of the district's new 51-page education guide. "Our plan is as transformational now as his music was then!"

The manifesto is aimed at transforming the educational "experiences for every child in each of our schools."

To drive home the point, a portrait of the '60s rocker - looking somewhat pensive, somber and perhaps stoned - graces the cover and every page of the manual.

The book also comes with a Hendrix poster and Hendrix-emblazoned canvas bag, which were handed out to a couple hundred administrators at Superintendent Carlos Garcia's back-to-school confab in September.

Not everyone, however, is in tune with the campaign, given that the songwriter-guitarist died after overdosing on prescription drugs and alcohol at the age of 27.

One school district employee, who asked not to be identified for fear of retaliation - but who described himself as a "liberal hippie educator who experienced the Summer of Love in San Francisco" - said he was disturbed that the Hendrix poster is popping up on school campuses.

"I find the choice of Hendrix as an inspiration to be used in an educational setting rather strange and out of touch," he told us in an e-mail.

Garcia says he is just trying to "revolutionize" San Francisco's schools, in the same way Hendrix's guitar playing transformed music.

As for Hendrix's druggie image?

"Hey," said Garcia. "We're in San Francisco."
San Francisco Chronicle

It’s past time to permanently fence off San Francisco. Fifty feet high, high voltage electrified. Nobody in, nobody out.

Paris: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

TMZ: This weekend, Doug Reinhardt showed off one of the perks of dating Paris Hilton.

Just like Paris' sex tape, Doug has also gone viral.

In other Hollywood news from Fox:

Angie Harmon is not afraid to come out and say she doesn’t like how President Obama is handling the job — but she’s sick of having to defend herself from being deemed a racist.

"Here's my problem with this, I'm just going to come out and say it. If I have anything to say against Obama it's not because I'm a racist, it's because I don't like what he's doing as President and anybody should be able to feel that way, but what I find now is that if you say anything against him you're called a racist,"

Harmon told Tarts at Thursday’s Los Angeles launch of the new eyelash-growing formula, Latisse. "But it has nothing to do with it, I don’t care what color he is. I’m just not crazy about what he's doing…

If I was to disagree with W, that doesn't make me racist. It has nothing to do with it, it is ridiculous."

On Sarah Palin: "I admire any kind of woman like her. My whole motto is to know what I stand for and know what I don't stand for and have the courage to live my life accordingly and she does exactly that.

The fact that this woman has made the decisions she's made and literally lived her life according to that and takes heat for it is absolutely disgusting to me," she added.

"People cannot look at this woman. I really think they're afraid of her and her morals, ethics and values and the fact that she hangs on them…”

No matter if you agree with her politics or not, her thinking position is about the direction of the country and what Obama is doing and what she thinks of it. A definite minority in Dumbo-land Hollywood.

By contrast, here’s a sampling of the charisma addled crowd’s take on things:

Mandy Moore - "I think it's cool that he went on Leno and I watched the "60 minutes" interview as well last week. The guy is just so articulate and he is so well versed in something that is so new to him and I think he has a good team around him. It sounds cliché, but he makes me feel proud to be an American."

Debra Messing - "He is thoughtful and considerate and he gets all the information before he speaks which I think is a wonderful quality for the ruler of the free world to have.”

Debi Mazar – “Everybody's broke and everybody's struggling and he makes me feel like I know him and that I know Michelle and that they’re like us and they’re out to try to save the USA.

It's just an amazing period to watch him take on these challenges and everyday in the news to hear about AIG or possibly global currency changing, it's incredible.

He's facing big challenges and he's got a lot of support and I'm just praying things get better."

Perrey Reeves - added that Obama is a "wonderful leader" and she’s looking forward to his future endeavors.

Not one of those four Celebu-Dopes said anything even close to objective about the future of the country or the direction it’s taking. Their entire concern is their feelings about someone, without regard to outside reality (you know, where real life occurs).

It’s no wonder, that a simple disagreement with an action, philosophy, or idea send the Dopes into a tailspin. It is, to them, a personal assault on their feelings. They cannot comprehend disagreement so it must be racist or something they can’t readily identify.

The feelings addicted are positive their feelings are never wrong, despite any evidence coming in from the outside world.

In fact, they are usually dumbstruck by, and reject the fact that feelings have no I.Q., which is why these people appear so stupid to others.

If you need a little more reason not to take a Celebu-Dopes advice, consider this:

Halle Barry was about to pull the trigger and put diesel fuel into her gasoline powered Lexus SUV when she was stopped and saved by, of all people, the paparazzi.

No doubt she had always heard diesel was cleaner for the environment and delivered better mileage, but the environmentalist turned out to be the paparazzi, who prevented 3,000 lbs from entering a landfill.

And may have prevented a fad.