Protect Yourself: There's Weirdos Everywhere

"It sounds like it might be cool to be in a cult if you're the guy leading it. Otherwise, not. But then, the same goes for a lot of religions."

-- Stephen Lemons, commenting on Ilchi Lee's sexual exploitation of his followers in the Dahn Yoga cult, and making it sound like he'd love to be doing it as well - Mr. Lemons reads like a pretty sick fuck - which just goes to show you, you've got to watch who you read, including those anti-redneck whackos in The Phoenix News.

The Only Thing They Can't Save Is Themselves

"If you looked at it from a certain perspective, the exercises Amy Shipley did in Dahn Yoga were perfectly normal. Take what she was doing right now. It was near midnight. Amy and seven other devotees of Dahn Yoga — nearly all in their 20s, clad in blue tracksuits and barely functioning on three hours of sleep — were standing in a waist-deep fountain in the desert of Sedona, Arizona. On command from their Korean trainer, all eight would plunge their heads underwater and hold their breath until their lungs strained, finally rocketing to the surface gasping and shouting a devotional song to their Grand Master — a middle-aged Korean man called Ilchi Lee — and weeping to prove their sincerity. Then they'd be ordered to do it again, and properly this time. In this way, Amy and the others were saving their souls and rescuing the world from annihilation.

See? Totally normal.

Amy loved tests. She'd always been Type-A like that, an overachiever, first in line for any challenge. And Dahn Yoga gave her endless tests to pass, especially here at its isolated Arizona retreat where, round the clock, members performed all kinds of mysterious rituals. Certain exercises had taken some getting used to, of course. Like the one where they'd turn off the lights and everyone would dance and scream for hours, until they collapsed in a sobbing heap. Or just earlier today, when Amy had been ordered to mash her face in the dirt as a lesson in humility. A 24-year-old blond Midwesterner who had been a homecoming princess of her Indiana high school, Amy was now a pro at such practices: At a previous workshop that lasted for 10 days, she and a dozen others had begun each morning by punching themselves in the stomach while hollering things like 'I am stupid!' For that privilege, Amy had paid $8,500.

Two years earlier, Amy and her boyfriend, Ricardo Barba, had been ordinary juniors at the University of Illinois when they visited a campus fitness club that taught a meld of yoga and tai chi. Now, by spring 2008, they were sleep-deprived, celibate soul warriors who considered Ilchi Lee their 'spiritual father.' In pursuit of the enlightenment Lee promised, they and thousands of other young American disciples dedicated 80-hour workweeks and astonishing amounts of money to Dahn Yoga. Amy was $47,000 in debt for her training, having maxed out credit cards and student loans at the urging of her masters. Again, totally normal: Many who progressed in Dahn had mountains of debt, especially those lucky older members with homes to mortgage — an asset that came in handy when paying for Dahn's holiest seminar, which cost $100,000.

Amy broke through the water's surface again and launched into song, careful to keep a smile on her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. Suddenly, she was struck with a rare moment of clarity. She didn't understand how this exercise was promoting world peace. She felt ridiculous. She was exhausted. She missed Ricardo, who was back in Chicago cleaning yoga-studio toilets and doing penance for his inability to 'create' money. What the hell am I doing? Amy wondered. But no sooner did the thought enter her mind than she squelched it the way her masters had taught her: When in doubt, commit yourself even harder. She slammed her face into the chilly water until her reservations dissipated. At the end of this week's training, Amy herself would be crowned a Dahn master and awarded her heavenly assignment: to recruit 20 new members and raise $20,000 for Dahn Yoga each month.

'I was a good little cult member,' Amy says today. 'I would have drank Kool-Aid laced with cyanide if they told me to. I would have chopped off my right arm. I would have done anything.'"

-- Sabrina Rubin Erdely, finally catching on to this yoga-as-a-cult business - and (like most of what goes on in Sedona, Arizona) it is a cult business - described in the most unlikeliest of places - the magazine that encouraged this behavior: the very-hippie Rolling Stone.

You're Stretching Everything (But Your Mind)

"You sign up for a yoga class and then find yourself trapped in a cult."

-- Pam Zekman, discovering that everything we tell you is true (you're just too slow, and arrogant, to catch on - which is how these cultists get to you), so we might even be smarter than CBS2Chicago.

Step 1: Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass. Step 2: File A Lawsuit. Step 3: Find a New Cult. Repeat.

"Defendants recruit new members into the Dahn organization through the use of solicitation by existing members, operation of Dahn Yoga ‘Body and Brain’ clubs on college campuses, as well as by advertising in fliers posted on college campuses and nearby businesses and street corners."

-- Joe Ducey, with the allegations in a new lawsuit against the Dahn Yoga cult - none of which are new - to us or to ABC News.

I Said It Before And I'll Say It Again: Fuck Yoga And Meditation And Everyone Who's Doing It

I remember a while back, talking to people about the dangers of yoga, and listening as they all assured me it was for exercise. Well, according to the new issue of TIME Magazine, they've finally figured out the news on yoga as exercise is just as bad as I said:

"Over the past three years, 13,000 Americans were treated in an emergency room or a doctor's office for yoga-related injuries,...yoga, regardless of the form, doesn't offer a comprehensive way to get fit,...It's not the best way to lose weight either,...power yoga burns fewer calories than a comparable session of calisthenics."

And the results of a German meditation study is even worse. After talking with meditators, and their families, here were the results:

• 76% of long-term meditators experience psychological disorders -- including 26% nervous breakdowns.

• 63% experience serious physical complaints.

• 70% recorded a worsening ability to concentrate.

• Researchers found a startling drop in honesty among long-term meditators.

"A startling drop in honesty". That was certainly my experience with my ex-wife, that's for sure. (Gotta explain all that "energy" somehow, right?) Here - let's follow up on that:

"The judgment of the married partners group (i.e. the non- meditator's judgment of the meditating partner) was very close to that of the parents. The item "perception of reality" had decreased,...the view of reality,...was now a source of great conflict. The second greatest change given by the married partners group was openness. This decreased.

The meditation reduced openness in its being a communicative quality. As a non-verbal attribute of understanding and the ability to communicate one's thoughts, it transformed into the opposite. Through this lack of openness, honesty shows a startling drop,...ability to make contacts changes,...politeness,...warmth and sympathy,...A distinct cooling in the relationship is indicated, on the commencement of the [meditating] practice by one of the partners,...In the area of performance, therefore, [meditating] does not cause an improvement, rather a disimprovement[sic] and accordingly fails in its promises.

Ex-meditators, parents and married partners are all united in this aspect, with some individual differentiations. Even ability to make contacts and dependability as well as warmth and sympathy were reduced in the opinion of the parents.

The ex-meditators were careful in their self-evaluation,...They ascertained the general development of their personality during the,..meditation phase to be negative,...the change,...caused a great deal of conflict in their lives. Likewise a strong decrease in humor was evident,...In all three groups the perception of reality and openness were the most notable indicators of negative changes,...The transformation in the perception of reality shown in previous evaluations led, as a consequence, to a lack of openness. This was expressed more in the emotional disposition [spouses] (married partners) and in social attitudes [parents] [parents]. For ex-meditators it signified a certain isolation caused by the meditation which co- existed with an increase in self-awareness and equilibrium. The capacity to make critical evaluations decreased significantly.

This major reduction in positive characteristics stands in total opposition to the promises made by the [meditation] movement.

Meditators were, before [meditating], mainly mentally active and had many interests and were open. They had good to very good relationships with family and friends,...The daily rhythm changed in 90% of cases, i.e. eating, sleeping and/or work habits. During the [meditating] phase they lived more or less in isolation, showed a disimprovement in disposition towards performance, and needed much more sleep than before, as a result of a continuous tiredness.

Everything had to be subject to the sometimes very long meditation program and the changed daily rhythm it necessitated,...75% gave up previous interests and dispositions,...A primitive form of language developed and a missionary style of speech, which non-meditators found to be indoctrination-like, cliche and mechanical.

Social relations were reduced within and outside the family,...Whereas 81% took part in family life before,...this number was reduced to 34%; 57% completely withdrew from family life.

The established reduction in communications has a particularly strong effect on married partners. Intimate and emotional contact is considerably reduced; up to and including complete abstention. The relationship to the children also suffered, i.e. the time devoted to them, their care, and patience in dealing with them all lessened considerably. In some cases this amounts to a total neglect of the children, because they represent a "stress factor" and because [meditating],...has now priority in their lives. The will to lead a "one-to one" style relationship is weakened, and becomes practically non-existent. Many meditators become divorced or lead a withdrawn monastic lifestyle.

The "I-you" relationship is replaced by a narcissistic self centered attitude. The social dimension fades into the background and the meditator becomes more and more incapable of carrying on a loving relationship. The relationship between activity and meditation which is based on [meditation] teaching shifts from the general social sphere exclusively towards their own referral group. It is a deliberate deception for the [meditation] movement to claim greater achievements and social activity for meditators. What is meant is an activity solely directed towards the aims and purposes of the [meditation] movement, which is striving for an "enlightened World development of consciousness". The social dimension in the form of political activity etc. fades away considerably if not completely.

The social behavior of meditators and the attitude of the [meditation] movement towards social life exhibit sect-like tendencies, which have nothing to do with the relaxation technique presented to the public by the movement.

The personality profile once more gives the trend of changes in all three groups: there is no development of personal attributes in the sense of an improvement in those attributes. Various attributes, like the emotions and a social responsibility, lose all importance throughout. [Meditation], however, promises an improvement of and increase in these attributes. Most strongly affected are the perception of reality, openness, and the ability to make critical evaluations."

It's all a bunch of lies. All lies. (And why can I, easily, find this proof of it but none of the believers seem to know it?) It's no wonder I'm divorced once Karine got into this shit. There was no talking to her. She didn't sleep for months at a time - leaving me to worry about her - only to find out, ultimately, she didn't care squat about me. (Remember "don't worry about Troy and he won't worry about me"? Even though I didn't know she was doing whatever crazy shit she was doing at the time - it was all in her head,...just selfishness to the very core of her being.) She'd lock herself in the bedroom and just scramble her brains, hating me for interrupting her bullshit self-brainwashing. It's all just sick, weak-minded, destructive, shit:

Sexy Sadie - what have you done? You've made a fool of everyone.

And I definitely married the wrong girl.