Tuesday, January 27, 2009

And Now A Word From Your (Non-Cult) Leader

Hey there - this is your old friend, The Crack Emcee, can we talk?

I can see that some of you are confused. Why is this guy always going on about cults?

The short answer is because there are these fine folks (especially the so-called "celebrities") who are continually grouping together, around the most silly things, and once they do so, they begin reinforcing the idea that, because they've decided to commit to some nonsense or other, the rest of us have to respect them.

Which is utter nonsense in itself.

It's people like these who give TMR's "delusional thinking" tag such a workout.

Take this idea of 2012. By studying the Mayan calendar, a whole gang of people are insisting the world is going to come to an end; or something "big" is going to happen, or who knows what. Whatever it (supposedly) may be, it's a popular idea with, like, what I'll call the NewAge friends of the Burning Man crowd,...who just happen to study the Mayan calendar.

But here's the thing: no one is seriously asking these people why they've been studying the Mayan calendar to begin with.

That seems like a really stupid way to spend their time: the Mayans are pretty much dead as a culture. And the man with the sandwich board, standing on the corner saying, "The end is near" is about as played out as you can get. I mean: we're still here.

And yet, on the supposedly smart chat shows, we're fed this steady stream of opinions by the well-known (and well-heeled) who actually believe such foolishness like they're worthy of being listened to. Being more specific, let me ask you a question:

If Janeane Garofalo believes in the 2012 theory of the end times - and she reportedly does - why is she, out of all the intelligent people on earth, a regular on Bill Maher's talk show?

Why her? Couldn't Maher - who also believes in quackery - find anyone sane? Or can't he tell the difference? Why does he even have a show?

Shirley MacLaine (who has not matured into a very nice person) is a U.F.O. cultist - we all know that. So why isn't anyone offering her mental help? Didn't we once like Shirley MacLaine?

Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirsty Alley - all part of "the world's most dangerous cult" - but we're told to be more concerned with their box office numbers than we are with the condition of their minds, and the effect such madness has when it works like a, sometimes frightening, psychedelic drug on the body politic. Why? Isn't the death of Jett Travolta enough for us to ask "What are we doing?"

What are we doing to our society - which regularly appears to be spinning out of control - and to ourselves?

We've just elected a man with hardly any credentials, but lots of nasty friends, to be the President of the United States - merely because he's black. And no one is seriously batting an eye unless they see someone, like me, who says there is something terribly wrong with that idea. Folks, the emperor has no clothes.

But when I say that, out come the excuses - as empty as Barack Obama's resume - and the eyes of his defenders narrow, always on the ready to assume a cutting gaze that suggests the madness they so heartily deny.

If that's not the very definition of cultism then I don't know what is.

Look, I'll cut to the chase for you, so we can be done with this whole thing and I can get back to my coffee:

There is no NewAge. There are no "ancient teachings." Life is a straight line and it just keeps going whether you're here to continue with it or not.

So, please, let's start demanding we quit being inundated and fooled by these want-to-be-well-known-but-equally-foolish people who, apparently, get lost much too easily by engaging in circular reasoning.

Let's just try to get on with it ourselves. Sanely. Both, as a tribute to the sacrifices of past generations, and a testament to the collective intelligence of our own.

We do indeed have all we need to make it happen. It's just by getting rid of a few really bad ideas that we can make it all work. And it's past time we did.

If we do, that in itself will be one hell of a first: we'll be the generation that will have finally reached "enlightenment."

And we will have done it by returning to The Macho Response.


Oh yea: There are articles in many of the titles (if you click on them) and - while I know it's crass and hardly clever and all - try to make even a small a donation. We're always looking for sponsors - Big ones. Big rich ones. Big rich ones who will imagine we're gods, like my ex-wife, "Dr." Robert Wohlfahrt, and Clinton - but we just haven't found them yet. So that leaves YOU. And yea, yea, as you can guess, any mention of my ex is like firing up The Bat Signal:

It means I'm now returning you to our regularly scheduled broadcast of political nonsense, religious nuts, and the world of way-out wackos.

So take care,


1 comment:

  1. It means I'm now returning you to our regularly scheduled broadcast of political nonsense, religious nuts, and the world of way-out wackos.

    As if you ever left! Thank g-d we have someone as smart as you to lead the poor ignorant masses out of the darkness. But dont most gurus claim that all the other gurus are wrong?