A few days ago, a friend of mine was describing this very situation, and how he turned it down:
Isn't it every guy's secret sex fantasy to sleep with his best friend's beautiful, yet off-limits wife? Apparently not. In fact, guys are biologically programmed to follow the rules of the man code.
These researchers should've added something like "unless you're Gavin Newsom, running for office while promoting 'gay' marriage - then all bets are off".
Oh snap! I just realized we're talking about MEN-men - Real Men - and here I am babbling on about Gavin Newsom. My bad - still, there's "one more little thing" that's bothering me, Columbo:
Why have I never heard of a "woman's code"?
Because there are two versions:
ReplyDeleteThe first one is: by all means sleep with your best friend's man or heck any woman's man, that way you can claim "most desirable" status (this has been a constantly growing vast majority of women since we were all "liberated"). You can also claim damsel in distress status when the other woman, rightfully, gets mad at you (but she'll be more angry at her man, so there's that).
The second one is what I like to call "real woman's code" which says: don't be a dog, don't sleep with another woman's man if anything because you would not want that to happen to you if not for personal integrity, honor, etc. etc. (and if he hits on you, he's obviously no good anyway, so why would you want him?) -- and exact terrible revenge on your man if he sleeps around on you (you'll be getting rid of him anyway, because he was obviously no good), but get that no account female first. Such women are increasingly rare, but are usually at the bottom of the head shaving ritual you sometimes see around military posts (true story, and I will admit to having been in on a couple...may not have been right, but it was understandable).
As for myself: my husband and I have an agreement to mutually assured destruction in the event of such a gross infidelity...I would hate to have to do it, because I love him and it would cause me great pain -- but I would do in that sucker if he even thought of cheating (and of course the miserable wench would get it first, so he would have to witness my wrath)...and what's sauce for the goose, turn around fair play and all that I would understand him feeling/doing the same.
So we understand each other well; makes our marriage stronger I think.
PW
I would add: that's something I learned as a small child. While I'm sadly not one of them, my family had/has several very good looking women in it. Women who are married to military men who are gone a lot.
ReplyDelete"Any man who would poach another man's woman is a dog, and any woman who would allow it is a bitch; they are beneath contempt and don't deserve any pity." That's what the women in my family taught us kids, from the cradle almost. Divorces are very rare in my immediate family, probably for a reason (the hippies not included, naturally, but they're largely disowned anyway).
PW