A Clinton Cult (Baptizes Napoleon's Nightmares In Stars)

"My decision to destroy the authority of the blacks in Saint Dominque (Haiti) is not so much based on considerations of commerce and money, as on the need to block for ever the march of the blacks in the world."

- Napoleon Bonaparte, making me laugh

 

"It takes more than a horrifying transatlantic voyage chained in the filthy hold of a slave ship to erase someone's culture."

- Maya Angelou, my babysitter back-in-the-day

 

Starchild,...is a divine alien being who came to earth from a spaceship (his arrival is "the Mothership Connection") to bring the holy Funk (with a capital "F": the cause of creation and source of energy and all life) to humanity. As it turns out, Starchild secretly worked for Dr. Funkenstein, the intergalactic master of outer space Funk, who is capable of fixing all of man’s ills, because the "bigger the headache, the bigger the pill" and he’s the "big pill". Dr. Funkenstein’s predecessors had encoded the secrets of Funk in the Pyramids because humanity wasn’t ready for its existence until,...everyone is on the One.

Starchild’s nemesis is Sir Nose D’Voidoffunk ("Sir Nose Devoid of Funk"),...Sir Nose attempts to end the Funk because he is too cool to dance. He is the master of the Placebo Syndrome, which causes unFunkiness (a combination of stupidity and no dancing). His goal is to place the minds of all humanity into a state called the Zone of Zero Funkativity. Starchild, on the other hand, uses his Bop Gun to achieve "Funkentelechy" for all humanity. With the Funky powers of the Bop Gun (which are augmented by the Flash Light....Shine the light on them suckas!!!), Starchild causes Sir Nose to reach Funkentelechy, and find his Funky soul. He then dances away the night.

- George Clinton's Mothership Connection (1979 - South Central, Los Angeles' soundtrack the year I graduated High School) predicting NewAge's rise ("the Placebo Syndrome") would lead whites (Sir Nose) off course until modern man (Starchild) identified the problem (using the Flashlight) to show Nose the way to true freedom (The Funk).

 

"Never learned to swim,


Can't catch the rhythm of the stroke
!

Why should I hold my breath?

Feelin' that I might choke!"

Things ya blow through, 
because of things ya swim through

Why hold your nose to spite your face?

With the rhythm that makes you dance to 
what we have to live through

You can dance underwater and not get wet, OH!!!

- "Aqua Boogie (A Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop)", Mothership Connection's happy conclusion, when the spirits of "Atlantis" (the Atlantic Slave Trade) force Sir Nose's dance floor discovery:

That to address what's bubbled up from under the sea ("What we have to live through"
) doesn't have to get anybody killed ("wet").