Minge Demands Extended Warranty For Human, Talks Delayed

Talks between Malawi officials and Minge are being delayed while the government considers her latest offer for a daughter. The reported sticking points are the warranty and return clause, and the size of the bribes.

Minge reportedly said “I usually don’t bother with a warranty, when I get fed up I just toss them and ridicule them from the stage during my concerts, but now my people tell me this might not be legal with a child.”

When asked how she would spend the four day delay, she mentioned traveling to Fargo, North Dakota, where “I heard they need volunteers to help with tea-bagging, and I like to do my part”. When it was pointed out that they need help with sandbagging, not tea-bagging, Minge shrugged and said “whatever”, retreating to her hotel room.