Monday, April 18, 2011

Here, If Food Touches The Ground, It's Trash

Please, everybody, keep bombarding me with all your different ways to "protect" my health. Please keep coming up with new rules to make my food more expensive and to deprive me of the ones I want the most because you've decided they're not "good" for me. Please keep turning my dinner plate into a medicine cabinet. Please keep informing me of everything that "may" happen (without also mentioning it may not) while pumping the fear factor up to 10 when there's no evidence anything you're saying is true. Please keep telling me about "Cures Your Doctor Doesn't Want You To Know About" and remedies people who only lived until 30 used long, long time ago.

Keep telling me about your fear of contaminants, and pesticides, and how often I should wash my fruits and vegetables, despite the fact I grew up healthy and happy without such concerns before your opinionated ass came along. Keep telling me of your miracle cures, and your bizarre new diets, and what some fashion model or other celebrity with the intelligence of a rock suggests. Keep telling me of your fears, Fears, FEARS, and then, when I tell you I don't share them and won't go along, get defiant and seriously ask me "What are you afraid of?" like I haven't been listening to your cowardly ass for decades.

Keep doing everything you can to disconnect yourself from the real world of people and food, until your shit comes out in plastic bags and you're eating nothing but organic this or that at 50 cents more per item than it's worth, as we all go broke doing what the rest of the world couldn't be bothered with, because it's unnecessary and they don't have (or want) a Whole Foods, while condemning anyone who doesn't look like they just wandered out of The Holocaust - like that's going to make things better. Keep it up:

You're only burying yourselves.

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