Tuesday, September 4, 2007

God Damned Right

"Moving from mainstream religion, to new age spirituality, is like a drug addict going from heroin to crack."

- Dick Dangerous

A "higher level of consciousness", Bill? Wow, that's very political language you're using. But wait - while I've got you (and I also see Michael Douglas, and Bill Gates, there), let me drop this on you - here's a really original idea (You're gonna love this):

Instead of you guys going to high-minded rich folks gatherings that the rest of us don't attend - and dropping new age jargon about what you and Dr. Evil (A.K.A. that dick-for-brains, Ken Wilber) are planning to do to us less-evolved beings - how about you wait until we give you permission to fool around inside of our heads?

How about that? You know: Our leaders get truthful about their ass-backwards new age beliefs on television, maybe with Tony Robbins, while waving their bio-electric shields, and actually telling us what Eleanor Roosevelt thinks we ought to do? (Screw Ken Wilber. We don't even know Ken Wilber.) Then, all us poor folk will give you a thumbs up, or a thumbs down, based on the honest "insights" Billy/Tony/Kenny/Hillary/Eleanor/Franklin/whoever channels? Whataya say?

That would be great, for a change, because - if you ask me - Monica didn't seem too happy,...after you fooled around with,...with her,...well, with whatever you fooled around with. (Ask Madonna, she thinks she's jewish: Wasn't kosher.) Something tells me the rest of us ain't gonna like whatever you're planning behind closed doors, this time, either.

Speaking of bad planning, I was re-reading some of author/friend Steve Salerno's old posts, over at his (highly-recommended) SHAMblog, and this quote - regarding new agers, and The Secret - got my attention:

"We've reached a curious juncture in American history where the people who reject magical thinking are the outcasts."

Whoa! That's me, Boys and Girls! Kicked to the motherfuckin' curb - by a woo no less! But forget about my *little problem* for now (please, just this once, you oh-so-sensitive souls) and let's focus on the meaning of that sentence for a minute:

New agers (Those apparently wonderful peace-loving walking smiley hugs) are actually ugly little evil bastards in disguise, who are making social outcasts of people like me, O.K.?

Ug-ly. Terrible. A diabolical plan. A level of evil that's only worthy of a group that can produce a homeopathic "hustledork". I salute them all, now let's move on:

I continue to Steve's comments section, and a guy named Les Stewart writes in to say this:

"You want proof based on some stupid Greek model. They want to dance around a pagan fire. Heads up, fellow heretics. McLuhan warned about this re-tribalization and its link between identity and violence. Deep waters ahead, I'm afraid."

Deep waters, indeed - especially when you're wading over to Maureen Callahan's recent headline in the New York Post:


Do you see? Don't you see?

First off, I'm glad the word "cult" is in there, so nobody can accuse me of throwing the 'c' word around (Maureen said it, not me, and she's a New Yorker - whole 'nother coast - so there.). But, even better, the first quote in her article is from one Charlotte Harrigan, who says her "sister watches ‘Oprah’ a lot; she’s into all that fabulous cult stuff.”

"Fabulous cult stuff"!?! FABULOUS CULT STUFF!?! Ha! (I'll say it again:) Ha!

Or as Dave Chappelle says in his famous Oprah Winfrey episode: "Gotcha, Bitch!"

Yea, O.K., I agree: The way they dressed in Heaven's Gate was waaay cool: They were "matching" and blacks always like that. And in that fashionable spirit (Is that a joke? I can't tell anymore) let's try to put this outfit together:

Supposedly super-sensitive gullible types (who may be prone to track suits) are being led through Oprah Winfrey to identify with cultish new age thinking, like The Secret, and, once empowered, being the super human assholes they truly are, they're trying to create outcasts by emotionally blind-siding the people-who-don't-mind-owning-guns-because-they-don't-indulge-in-magical thinking - which is creating a future *potential* for violence.

Yea, like going hunting with Dick Cheney does.

Ah, magical thinking. It did wonders for Germany, didn't it?

Is that Germany connection too strong? Doesn't sound like it. (Might read like it but it doesn't sound like it.) Why not? Because, first of all, we've all seen how Secretrons behave when challenged (And especially when Cosmic Connie challenges 'em: she's brutal.). So, it's pretty obvious, New agers are NOT the best company to keep when you want to think for yourself. They start snarling and getting nasty, and all that hippy "peace and love" stuff vanishes in an instant. As another recent visitor to SHAMblog said - and I hope my ex is reading this:

"[They] can be as negative as [they] want to be, so long as [they're] being negative,...about those [they] feel are negative."

Which, of course, was me - the guy who loved his wife, completely, for 20 years - not the husledork she recently met who gave her mother water and called it medicine. But I digress,...

Anyway, that description of new agers sounds a lot like Hitler-shit to me. I, also, think new agers have got nazi-like tendencies because your boy, Crackers (that's me) has been crawling around on the less savory side of the new age tracks, where only new agers, and crazy christians, dare to tread. The dark places that smart-ass (but wimpy) scientists won't go because, they say, they think such people are too stupid to be seriously harmful to anyone - my present situation excepted. (My situation, to them, is blamed on my belligerence, and being a bad husband, blah, blah, blah. Scientists: Go figure.)

Switching to pop culture for a moment (Because it's my blog - such power:) Steven Spielberg was acknowledging fact when he showed the nazis as occultists in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Himmler, and Hess were very open about their faith in occult beliefs, while Hitler was always going on about his love for God and his hatred for atheists. Can you imagine? Take a note:

Hitler - not the "open-minded" type.

I made a point (in the previous version of TMR) of pointing out that, it's in the publishing world that you can most clearly see the cult evolution in America: From the occult section of bookstores becoming the new age section, and - once extreme embarrassment about the Harmonic Convergence set in - new age slowly morphing into the mind/body cult, which has since become such a huge success that it's everywhere now - in hospitals and clinics, advertising, Larry Craig - literally everywhere. It's enough to make you think it's the non-believers who are idiots.

But it's that big brain of viral marketing, Chris Locke, of the Mystic Bourgeoisie (who was once a new age-y believer himself) who has been making explicit the occult/new age/mind-body/nazi connection for some time now. I just fell in "Locke-step". (Sorry - couldn't resist: Hitler. Locke. "Locke-Step"?) Sigh.

According to the paranoid crackpot christian sources - and the good, reliable, trustworthy folks - two of the main features of the nazi new age movement are A) a willingness to hide what they're up to. And B) a lack of morality, driven by an extreme inability to tell right from wrong, good from evil, water from medicine, R. Kelly from Gene Kelly, etc.. Lawrence A. Pile describes the new age outlook, in almost exactly the same manner, in his piece on Wellspring, called The Siren Call of the Pied Pipers:

"If 'all is one,' then there are not only no distinctions between God and man, there are also no distinctions between truth and falsehood, right and wrong, good and evil. In fact, all distinctions are mere illusion. To quote Erhard, "What is, is, and what isn't, isn't." Or, as the EST graduation booklet put it, "Obviously the truth is what's so. Not so obviously, it's also so what."

Riiiiight. (It's also the brown acid, asshole.) Kinda brings Oprah's there-is-no-reality admonishment to "Find Your Own Truth" into focus, doesn't it? (Her real name is ESTher, BTW.)

I mean, if all these new age nazi-types are finding their own truth, how can even they hope to maintain a community? Hold a marriage, or relationship, together? Keep a friendship? Save the Jews - I mean, make any sense at all? Hell, this post stopped making sense a long time ago - that's how big of a problem this is!

Do I have to spell it all out for you in detail? Here:

Oprah Winfrey, as Hitler, has been advocating wide-spread lying by her blonde-haired brownshirts for the last 25 years!

Don't believe me? Look:

With new age nazis selfishly - and without evidence - defending the indefensible, society itself (as the New York Post article indicates - with black people) is becoming impossible to keep together - and, you don't have to look hard to find evidence of it (read this post!). Aren't we seeing it, on a large scale, already? Aren't rank "partisanship", and "gridlock", the political buzzwords of the day? Right up there with Nancy Pelosi and Superbad?

I say new age-nazi-indoctrinated Oprah voters are either, like Hitler, unable to let go of their "truth" (their political "beliefs") no matter what the facts on the ground indicate,...or, like Hillary, they're switching their positions, without regard to the integrity of those they just held. And they're confusing the rest of us. But that's exactly what new age doctrine says we should expect: Because they're all Oprah-Hitler-Hillary-God/Hickory-Dickory-Dock now.

That's how God really works, right?

I'm askin' - I don't know - I'm just an atheist:

Because that shit keeps you sane.

Stay sane - stay with:


  1. Hi Crack Emcee,

    I just stumbled onto your blog. It is the exact opposite of mine. That's okay. I find your perspective interesting precisely because you talk about the same stuff I talk about, but from the opposite side. Since I do believe in spirituality and mysticism, I could almost be lumped into the new age group except that I agree with you about them being Mystic Bourgeousie. I can try to explain it in non-righteous and egomaniac terms sometime if you want, but in the end you probably won't believe me anyway and that's fine too.

    Those who truly grasp the spiritual and mystic concepts could very well be religious folk or could also be nonreligious folk, and they are probably not the ones advertising themselves. The people who say they are into New Age spirituality might be dogmatic and potentially dangerous as Nazis, but so are any other group of people who are so convinced in their righteousness that they are willing to force their ideology onto others. Twisted morality is very dangerous. But all morality is twisted, so you ask some good questions.

    Anyway, my blog is http://rainbowruminations.blogspot.com and you can blast me all you want as long as you say it nicely and with respect. My disclaimer is that I am crazy, stupid, and illogical. But then I'm saying that in the context of an insane world, so keep that in mind.


  2. PS - I just read some more of your posts and realized you live in SF too. Ha, no wonder you hate the New Age stuff.

    I am constantly looking for the common denominator among people, and find that everyone just wants their personal experiences to be validated and believed. They think that what makes them happy will make others happy, which isn't true. Everyone's experience is equal but NOT THE SAME.

    I was atheist once too, and I was so mad and surrounded by religious people. I just wanted to scream "believe me!" What it comes down to is we all want our beliefs (or nonbeliefs) to be respected.

    Unfortunately, you have seen that the counterculture is still just as flawed as the culture. And dogma is dogma whether it's coming from a priest or someone with a blue mohawk or a proselytizing atheist.

    That's why I believe in anarchy, but one that is based on love (not love in the romantic sense by any means!)

    A world like that has yet to exist so that is why I am considered crazy. It's okay, I am content with my place in life.

  3. I find it interesting that you say:

    "The people who say they are into New Age spirituality might be dogmatic and potentially dangerous as Nazis, but so are any other group of people who are so convinced in their righteousness that they are willing to force their ideology onto others."

    And yet you join them,...