Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'll Say It This One Time And One Time Only: Get Behind Me Satan (I'm Suffering Unrelenting Disappointment,...)

Carrying on in a slightly different vein than the last post, our totally debunked TV psychic, Derek Acorah, is still getting away with making unfounded declarations - which should be cause enough for each of us to bang our heads against something hard - while Elvis' daughter, Lisa Marie Presley, has finally removed all mention of Scientology from her official website, leaving The King's obese-karate-moves-in-a-jumpsuit period, his dying on the toilet, and Lisa Marie's "marriage" to Michael Jackson, as the only remaining indignities to his legacy.


I'm hoping Tony and Cherie Blair’s former "lifestyle guru," Carole Caplin, isn't lying when she says, "I started getting round-the-clock migraines. The pain was unbelievable and I couldn’t eat,…I couldn’t stop crying. I was disgusted with myself," because I've wanted her to suffer (along with her boyfriend, convicted con man Peter Foster) for many, many years now. Actually, I hope her inner trauma continues, and then, somehow, Tony and Cherie come down with the same symptoms, as it starts to spread and consume the entire NewAge Movement, striking them down like in the movie Contagion so, even if I'm not there, I will have already had the pleasure of watching Gwyneth Paltrow's face as she dies. Wait a minute, what am I saying? That's mean - I take it back:

Gwyneth Paltrow should die while using her own fucking colon cleanse. 

 But yes, still preferably in the presence of Matt Damon. 

Speaking of movies featuring cults and cultists, people are noticing they're a phenomena now, but without noticing the actions of cults and cultists in real life, which is weird. I'd recommend they read a book or two, but it hasn't helped Ann Althouse, so I'd be a fool to hold out much hope for anyone else. Ann's a lawyer and a professor, and (I used to think) they know everything.

 Oh well, the world is going to end in 2012 anyway, so what do I care?

Like John Edwards, I've got to get my affairs in order,...


  1. > "American society is fighting a belief system: Defeat the Democrats and they'll be back. Defeat NewAge and we're done with them!"
    How? They seem immune to reason, guilt, and shame...

  2. I said defeat them, not to try and reason with them, guilt trip them, or shame them. Would you try to reason with Nazis? Of course not, so why bother with these assholes?

    Shun their ideas, betray their causes, undermine them personally at every opportunity - and feel good about it. In a zero-sum game, there's only one winner, and these folks are playing a zero-sum game:

    It's us or them.

    That should be an easy call,...