I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do) Should Have Got Done

True story - my best friend tried to talk me into assaulting John Oates one night at the movies ("We'll make the papers!") but cooler heads (mine) prevailed - I'm starting to regret it:

“How else could Hall & Oates enjoy,...a successful career but through the intervention of some occult entity?”

Things could've been very different, for all of us, if I had known:

At the time, I thought they were only guilty of providing one good song-per-album,...