Friday, May 16, 2008

Having Her Cake (After The Banana Split)

"Here is the opening to the article for dating a divorced woman:

Dating a woman who’s been down the aisle in the past is a bit different than dating someone who’s never been married … but that doesn’t necessarily mean it can’t lead to a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. You just need to be aware of a few special concerns, says Dr. Keith Anderson, author of
On Your Own Again: The Down-to-Earth Guide to Getting Through a Divorce or Separation and Getting on with Your Life.

Note that if you are a man dating a divorced woman, it might lead to a wonderful and fulfilling relationship! At worst, a man will have 'special concerns' about a divorced woman. However, what if you are a concerned woman who is dating a divorced man? Here is the opening for that article:

If you’ve just begun dating a divorced man, you may soon realize that the 'regular' dating rules don’t always apply. Whether it’s due to encounters with his ex, issues concerning his children or heavier-than-average baggage, dating a divorced man can be especially challenging. For tips on how to enjoy a fulfilling relationship with a divorced man, heed the advice of Dr. Christie Hartman, author of
Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He’s Right for You.

Note the difference: a divorced man has baggage and is a challenge. Dating a divorced woman is a special concern and leads to a fulfilling and wonderful relationship. Even the books mentioned are different. For divorced women, a book is cited with a nice title that is gender neutral; for divorced men, the title is more hostile and is geared towards what women can do to make sure this damaged man is right for her. Everything is about what women want in a relationship. The man just has to play along and conform to what women need."

-- Dr. Helen, pointing out society's (glaringly obvious) disdain for men, on Pajamas Media

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