Looking back on it -
until my marriage became a horror movie - I had NO IDEA how difficult it would be to
try and live a normal life.
I should've known a kid's dream - to escape living amongst
unethical bastards with a
vicious religious streak - couldn't be realized by merely
leaving a ghetto.
The truth is, no matter where you go,
the crazies will find you - I've traveled the world
and it's a fact.
They project
an evil, totalitarian vibe that assaults, driving one to studying the
Third Reich for clues on what's coming next.
But, even with my newfound (and extensive)
knowledge of cultism, I'm no more capable of seeing around history's corner - and knowing my/our fate -
than the Jews.
Was I put here to merely
suffer it all, or also to
act as a witness - explaining, to the next "free" kid, how
these forces bend back upon themselves?
My French wife left me for a German cultist who killed her mother (together they went on to
kill two others) and right now, the world is seriously discussing a French sociologist's claim that
committing adultery is good for a marriage (!) while my fellow conservatives - the Americans who are supposed to "stand athwart history yelling 'Stop!'" - are hoping they can elect a member of this huge cult,
who even hosted the Olympics, to run our country.
Where do I turn to escape it all - "all" being everything that's happened, plus the
cheering crowds, the
mass hysteria, the
poisonous groupthink and the ever-present
shadow of the dead?
Nowhere - I'd go to Israel, but there's even talk of it being "wiped off the map," of course.
And you want to hear the worst part?
The thing that really kills me - and probably will?
There's no getting around this:
I'm not sure Israel is a good escape hatch -- heave some buddies from there; they were telling me 10 years ago that the "weird, delusional, and just plain nuts" was starting to tighten a grip on that place; they were worried somebody might do something really stupid.
ReplyDeleteI guess it must be a human animal nature thing...I've seen animals panic and do some truly crazy and self-destructive things if they feel too boxed in; maybe people do it sooner and in more subtle ways (my husband's come home twice this week once with news that some guy at work was found hung over his lunch break; second, that this super evangelical, conservative, family and individual values type just strangled his fiancee to death, and that it turned out she was pregnant...and he did it at his brother's wedding -- and people are all freaking out over "the last days" at work...which is enough to drive my husband nuts).
No, most people have really good intentions -- but sometimes they hit the panic button too hard or they rush in to do good...and that's when they meet up with the small group of folks who really don't have any good intentions at all (and who belongs to what group is oftentimes not obvious at all).
Oh well, so it goes. PW